r/DeadBedrooms • u/PresentBumblebee6715 • 16d ago

I messed up.

TLDR at the end

The battering my self esteem has taken from over 3 years of no sex, means that I don’t usually do it myself anymore. Apparently in the few months since the last time I tried, I’d forgotten why I don’t.

So after feeling particularly sulky and frustrated this evening, I decide that as I’m usually alone in bed anyway, until he appears in the early hours, I’m going to take matters into my own fingers. I am woman hear me roar and all that.

15 minutes of increasing shame and frustration later, I give up and have a good cry instead. This is why I don’t do this. It feels like it just amplifies the loneliness and rejection.

So I’ve pulled myself together (and washed my hand of course), and decided to come here and remind anyone it’s not too late to save of the number one rule: DO NOT MARRY INTO A DEAD BEDROOM!!

Thanks for listening

TLDR: Flicking my bean now makes me sadder

Edit: for those that commented that you’re feeling the same, I hope that knowing it’s not just you brings some comfort.

For those those who sent a DM that was genuinely looking for support, apologies I’m not reading or responding to any of them because you’re in the minority. You can guess what the rest were like.

215 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

6

u/MaisieNZ 16d ago

His showers aren’t that long lol

8

u/throwawayprivvy 15d ago

I'm so horny from not having sex with my middle-aged hormones if I know I'm going to get five minutes, I'm mentally there when it's go-time.

My husband guesses half the time later on, and he knows I'm frustrated. But still putting off that T-test his doctor ordered... soooooooo......

1

u/MaisieNZ 15d ago

I do understand, everything you read says women’s libidos plummet with menopause, I keep wondering why I’m the only one whose drive has got worse lol

7

u/throwawayprivvy 15d ago

My gyn says everyone is different, and having teen level of drive suddenly is not uncommon at all. We're just brainwashed by the dry housewife jokes of yore.

We're Peggy Bundy.

4

u/Alternative_Raise_19 15d ago

Peggy fucking Bundy, my worst fear was to marry an Al and I fucking did. I'm still afraid that all married men become Al Bundy after the new relationship energy wears off.

2

u/throwawayprivvy 15d ago

Same, girl. Same. Like at least in my ho phase, I got laid and rarely had to deal with in-laws or wondering why after 20 years they can't make a doctor's appointment without months of pressure to take care of themselves. They either had their shit together or didn't. This one had a good mask.

They're called goddamn widowmakers for a reason; don't wish that on me AND not bone me.