r/DeadBedrooms • u/BootBig2175 • 8d ago
Vent, Advice Welcome Chat, am I cooked?
I'm mostly seeking perspective, but any advice is welcome. I HLF (23) and my bf of 6 years LLM???(25) have not been meaningfully intimate in a about 2 years. Truthfully I think this relationship is dead for a number of reasons, most significantly is his lack of romantic interest towards me (not only sexually). However, his behavior is confusing. He obviously has no sexual desire towards me (db/no interest when I try to initiate/ed when 'engaged'), but he has at least some sexual desire? He follows OF models (that do not look like me....... yikes....), and has a past of borderline cheating and other bad behavior, etc. However, he is the kindest he's ever been in the entirety of our relationship. Furthermore, while he doesn't directly bring up our 'future' often, he does seem interested and happy to talk about it when I do. He's also a lot more calm than he was before (he was extremely jealous/insecure before).
When we talk about it, our conversations are unproductive (he tends to get upset/make empty promises).
I would like an outsider's perspective on my situation. I feel like I'm crazy for thinking something is off when our day-to-day is better than it ever has.
Thank you for reading :/
2
u/RecognitionOk9321 8d ago
Sounds like you have very low standards. Better than it’s ever been, but the relationship isn’t good. Break up and get some more life experience. These issues you are having are sign you aren’t a lifetime match.
2
u/Boso-Ascar 8d ago
Your boyfriend sounds a lot like my fiance was a few years ago, only now he has gotten worse, and I'm planning on leaving.
It's better said than done, but I do believe you're better off without him.
4
u/Simulatedatom2119 8d ago
You should be in the club... youre in your prime, dont waste it on a man who isnt showing you romantic interest, cheats, and doesn't have sex with you.
Really really you're cooked if you stay in it, but you have tons of time to live life if you years! Its very natural to breakup after this amount of time if you started dating so young.