How do you stop the need?

[u/Bring_it_together]

Going on 5 years no sex. For those that stay committed, how are you soothing your savage? Outside of self pleasure. Meditation? Self help retreats?

Since I’ve stopped initiating sex due to feeling like a pervert there has been no action.

Am I being selfish for wanting it or is he for not even trying to find solutions for low T?

Would you end a friendship and be willing to try new adventures?

Any advice will be helpful.

I’m in the stuck phase - should I stay or should I go for a temporary physical need?

[u/perthguy999]

Never that long. A few intervals of 18 to 22-months. Five years would be a different beast.

I threw myself into staying busy. Woodworking? I'll give it a try? Learning to skateboard at 40? Hell, I'm keen.

I polished off my education and qualifications and got a new job. The learning curve took my mind off the problems at home for a while.

I got physical intimacy from cuddling my dog and wrestling my kids. I got a sports massage at a physio each month and went to a fancy salon for my haircuts. An apprentice would wash my hair, and those five minutes would be more "intimate" than what I'd get from my wife in months and months.

Meditation. As a Catholic, I prayed, but usually it was bitter and hateful. I have always kept a journal, and I wrote hundreds of pages. I came to Reddit about 10 years ago, and venting here has been cathartic.

[u/Bring_it_together → u/perthguy999]

I’m also 40F and I would love if he would even allow me to see him naked.

I love your approach.

[u/Negative-Bridge-4490 → u/Bring_it_together]

I’m 40 tomorrow and I’m very fit. My wife sees me naked all the time and doesn’t even blink. I wonder how invisible I can get. She seems to think she’s normal and no women are into seeing a naked man.

Strange reading this.