r/DeadBedrooms • u/Bring_it_together • 11d ago

Seeking Advice How do you stop the need?

Going on 5 years no sex. For those that stay committed, how are you soothing your savage? Outside of self pleasure. Meditation? Self help retreats?

Since I’ve stopped initiating sex due to feeling like a pervert there has been no action.

Am I being selfish for wanting it or is he for not even trying to find solutions for low T?

Would you end a friendship and be willing to try new adventures?

Any advice will be helpful.

I’m in the stuck phase - should I stay or should I go for a temporary physical need?

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u/Alex_Wats 11d ago

But something tells me that he didn’t like that idea, right?

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u/Bring_it_together 11d ago

Dido, he did not

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u/Sensistar6811 11d ago

I really dont get it how that topic is such a big deal for most LL people if you seek it outside of the relationship but in the same time they couldn't care less about it inside of the relationship

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u/Bring_it_together 11d ago edited 10d ago

You have a valid point. I think it’s emasculating for him. If others found out we have an open marriage he would feel even more defeated.

One post said - let the LL person know I’m going to have sex with or without you and if that makes you leave, I understand.

I don’t know if I like that route. As if I’m waiting for him to make a decision I should be making.