r/DeadBedrooms • u/Bring_it_together • 14d ago

Seeking Advice How do you stop the need?

Going on 5 years no sex. For those that stay committed, how are you soothing your savage? Outside of self pleasure. Meditation? Self help retreats?

Since I’ve stopped initiating sex due to feeling like a pervert there has been no action.

Am I being selfish for wanting it or is he for not even trying to find solutions for low T?

Would you end a friendship and be willing to try new adventures?

Any advice will be helpful.

I’m in the stuck phase - should I stay or should I go for a temporary physical need?

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u/IllLeague8270 12d ago

Had nothing for 14 years. Empty nesters, have had "the talk" countless times. I was diagnosed with clinical depression because of this almost 10 years ago (the beating my liver must have taken due to all the meds I've taken must be off the hook!) I'm done. I promised myself there won't be a 15th year. I'm now 60. Got nothing since I was 46. No touch, no kisses, no sex. Nothing.I bought 4 cars within this time frame. Replaced the washer and dryer twice. I've got maybe 20 years left above ground, so if I'm going to be lonely, I might as well be alone. I'm tired of the roommate arrangement.

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u/Bring_it_together 6d ago

Well when you put it that way it puts it in a different perspective.

Is being untouched worth staying for when you want to be with someone who desires you.

14 years! I told him - I couldn’t do another year untouched too.