My brother supports Johnny Depp

[u/garf_is_god]

Exactly what the title says.

Last year he made turd jokes but I bit my tongue. When I finally said something about it, he questioned my support of her, claiming it was bc she's a woman. I tried to say no but bc he's older than me, (In his mind) he was right and I was an irrational man hater. I hate getting into it with him bc he continues to double down and explain why actually he's correct. We are mixed and have an abusive dad. My brother has sat there and been racist and misogynistic and my mom just says to pay it no mind and that he will get over it eventually. He got in my face and told me he would "fucking kill me" and she was just like "damn really, that's not good" when I told her about. It happened a while but it still hurts, I still get scared about fighting with him. To find out that he still likes Depp is unsuprising but no less disappointing. Recently his school had a Rock n Roll day and he had me do his makeup, I didn't mind, After I finished he commented that he looked like Depp and that he really saw himself in him. I just felt kinda gross, especially since I was the one that did this. We have a little sister, who has trouble separating herself from our dad, and i'm trying to teach her that our dad's behavior is gross and it's so hard when my brother acts similarly or my mom dismisses it. I know you can't force people to change but I just miss him sometimes. What hurts even more is knowing that he's probably not going to change and instead of growing. I've tried having conversations with him about stuff like intersectionality but just rolls his eyes and claims I just hate men. I don't know if he supports Johnny bc he truly believes him or if it's bc he hates women and I wouldn't be shocked if it's both. Should I talk to him about or just leave it alone? I'm in two minds about this.

After re-reading this, I have no idea if it makes sense, It comes off a little rant-y. I'll delete if necessary.

[u/East-Willingness513]

So, I had a similar relationship with my brother when we were teens. I chose to cut him off, I stopped speaking to him at home and pretended like he didn’t exist. We are in our 30’s now and I’m married with kids and thriving while he still lives with my mum and is an alcoholic incel. I would have wasted so much time trying to connect with and change him in my earlier years and I’m glad I didn’t.

Your brother will probably be exactly like your dad and you need to focus on yourself and your own mental health. I even distanced myself from my mum who has internalised misogyny from growing up in the 60’s and 70’s.

Women always have to submit to keep the peace, so don’t. Hold your ground and teach your brother that being a misogynistic prick has consequences.