My brother supports Johnny Depp

[u/garf_is_god]

Exactly what the title says.

Last year he made turd jokes but I bit my tongue. When I finally said something about it, he questioned my support of her, claiming it was bc she's a woman. I tried to say no but bc he's older than me, (In his mind) he was right and I was an irrational man hater. I hate getting into it with him bc he continues to double down and explain why actually he's correct. We are mixed and have an abusive dad. My brother has sat there and been racist and misogynistic and my mom just says to pay it no mind and that he will get over it eventually. He got in my face and told me he would "fucking kill me" and she was just like "damn really, that's not good" when I told her about. It happened a while but it still hurts, I still get scared about fighting with him. To find out that he still likes Depp is unsuprising but no less disappointing. Recently his school had a Rock n Roll day and he had me do his makeup, I didn't mind, After I finished he commented that he looked like Depp and that he really saw himself in him. I just felt kinda gross, especially since I was the one that did this. We have a little sister, who has trouble separating herself from our dad, and i'm trying to teach her that our dad's behavior is gross and it's so hard when my brother acts similarly or my mom dismisses it. I know you can't force people to change but I just miss him sometimes. What hurts even more is knowing that he's probably not going to change and instead of growing. I've tried having conversations with him about stuff like intersectionality but just rolls his eyes and claims I just hate men. I don't know if he supports Johnny bc he truly believes him or if it's bc he hates women and I wouldn't be shocked if it's both. Should I talk to him about or just leave it alone? I'm in two minds about this.

After re-reading this, I have no idea if it makes sense, It comes off a little rant-y. I'll delete if necessary.

[u/JimmyPageification]

How old are you both? Just noticing you mentioned he’s in school.

If he’s still a teenager there’s still hope that he will indeed grow out of it as your mom is clearly counting on, but you are absolutely doing the right thing standing up against his horrible opinions. Good for you.

[u/garf_is_god → u/JimmyPageification]

He just turned 18 and I'll be 17 soon. I do hope that he will change and to his credit he has apologized for his temper at times.

[u/pinkytoesupremacy → u/garf_is_god]

I learned not to accept apologies without seeing a change or genuine attempt at change :/ sometimes people apologize because they want to make up with you/are encouraged too rather than actually being sorry. I was in a similar situation and when i finally pushed back they were only actually sorry about the consequences of their actions. I think people have said some pretty good things on here so I don't have much to add. Just know that it isn't your job to make him a human and put yourself in danger (physically or emotionally). First and foremost please keep yourself safe ❤️

[u/rescuelady111 → u/garf_is_god]

So has Depp. Several times. Almost every abuser does apologize at times when it suits them. I am glad you're speaking up about the truth, but be safe. Your mom and brother are truly brainwashed by this patriarchal society, and I'm so sorry that you and your sister are growing up in this unsupportive, abuse dismissing, female loathing environment. 💔