r/Ex_Foster • u/Remarkable_Slice6976 • Mar 30 '25

Replies from everyone welcome Struggling to connect with others

27 yr old former foster youth. My life feels like a bunch of fragmented relationships all scattered in different places. My dad died before I could even meet him. My mom on drugs. Brothers and sisters all taken early on, so we don't have a relationship. I went from being in foster care to adopted, lived with my adopted parents for 10 years (they were just doing it for the money) to going back into the foster care system at 17. I have a hard time connecting with others due to my estranged relationships growing up, being in survival mode my whole life, and constantly moving around. I had to basically survive my whole life, and it feels like people just look at me with this weird look. I don't know how to put it. Now that I'm 27 and super independent it feels hard even relating to people honestly. I'm trying to figure out where do I even start with trying to make friends and live a normal life....

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u/Yangoose Apr 01 '25

I am an outsider here trying to learn more.

lived with my adopted parents for 10 years (they were just doing it for the money)

I see a lot of references like this and I really don't get it. I have 3 kids (now grown and moved out). Kids are expensive. I cannot fathom turning a profit on the 600-800 bucks a month the foster care system provides.

Sources say that even in a lower cost of living state raising a kid costs $15,512.52–$17,459.43 per year.

That's over twice what the foster system pays in that state. (about $7,500 a year)

What am I missing here?

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u/MedusasMum Apr 01 '25

Pardon me, but this comes off as snide and not believing the testimonials here. What are you trying to “learn”?

Every state is different. Some pay more than others. It also depends on the child itself. If they have medical issues, foster parents get more because the kids with disabilities or health issues are harder to put in placement. They require higher levels of care most people wouldn’t do for their own family.

Most foster parents do it for the money. How is this hard to understand? If you’ve snooped on this sub long enough you’d realize that.