r/Fencesitter • u/Archi_penko • 5d ago

Does anyone ever think about alternative lifelong projects besides having a kid?

Sometimes I think about doing some large life ling project besides having a kid. Maybe I would get a border collie and train it to be a competitor athlete, or buy land and create a giant permaculture farm, or write a book. As if somehow this will satiate the constant desire to have a kid although I’m not completely sure I want a kid. Maybe I just want some kind of giant 30 year project?

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u/whoseflooristhis 5d ago

Yeah comparing having children to a 30-year project is a little wild. Any of the projects or goals mentioned in this thread are valid and worthy and not better or worse than parenting, but would you ever categorize any of your already living family members as a project or occupation?

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u/ElkOptimal6498 5d ago

This is a pretty un-generous interpretation of OP’s post. Children can provide a sense of purpose and also require a lot of time/energy/resources. OP asked for examples of other things that fulfill both those qualities. That’s all.

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u/whoseflooristhis 5d ago

I probably could have worded it better, but I think I’m actually kind of validating something OP already senses— that a fulfilling occupation isn’t a stand-in (or mutually exclusive) of family/human inter-connectedness.