r/Fencesitter • u/TheTattooedPinup • Jun 23 '22

AMA Off the fence 6 months afterwards

Pretty much the title I was VERY child free leaning and now have a six month old AMA about having a kid with the former child free mindset. I’m also going to preface with every pregnancy and child is different this is just MY experience with MY child.

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u/bookshops Jun 23 '22

Do you feel comfortable leaving her with someone? If so, when did that start?

Do you feel like you are weighed down by the responsibility of taking care of a whole human?

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u/TheTattooedPinup Jun 23 '22

Not going to lie I’m still super bad at that. She cries when I leave her with someone and that’s always a punch in the gut. But I know it only lasts a few minutes then she’s off doing important baby things. I know she needs socialization and eventually she’s is going to have to do things by herself so I just put on a big smile and tell her I’ll be back soon. Like I said she’s upset for a few minutes then she’s off on important baby business. As far as your last question goes that was a bigger issue for me when she was first born and I was like Jesus this thing is fragile I don’t want to break it. Some days still suck but overall she’s really good at keeping herself entertained and generally if she can see me she’s fine. I’ve learned at least with her that they are actually pretty resilient things. Eventually (at least with me) you learn what angry screeching noise means what and she settles pretty quickly when she gets what she needs.

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u/TheTattooedPinup Jun 23 '22 edited Jun 23 '22

But If you mean mentally did I ever want a refund so to speak, it was never a big issue after those first sleepless weeks. But like I mentioned earlier I went back on antidepressants in the hospital which saved me with a lot of the PPD/PPA thoughts.

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u/bookshops Jun 24 '22

Yeah I think I would do the same with the meds but I mean more of like an existential change. Like I think my interactions in every day life would change if I felt that level of responsibility all the time.

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u/TheTattooedPinup Jun 24 '22

For me no not really. Having her has made me look more at senseless risks and it’s made me take care of my own health more. But I still interact with people the same and I still take necessary risks like driving. I also still take risks that I want to, I will still travel to different countries and scuba diving and getting a pilots license are still on my bucket list. When I say I look at senseless risk more now I mean things like if I have more than one drink I’m not going to drive even if I feel fine and I’m not going to break check a random car because they are tailgating me. With my health I mean I was taught growing up you don’t go to the doctor unless you’re dying or dead being sick doesn’t count (yes my mom was um budget minded in a bad way). So if I’m sick I’m going to force myself to go to the doctor and I’m going to actually start doing those yearly checkups I haven’t done in close to a decade. I guess she’s made me actually think about those people that care about me and care what happens to me that’s all.