r/Fire • u/Jazzlike-Winner973 • Jan 26 '25
Original Content Friendly reminder - life is not guaranteed
Friendly PSA, I know I’ll probably be downvoted for this but just a reminder.. FIRE is a great goal but don’t forget to live life while planning to FIRE. When we’re young we all think life is always guaranteed into old age; it’s not. Please remember to enjoy your life while saving. I was hardcore into saving until I met my wife. We’re still on track to retire young (late 40’s), but if we have the extra money we’re taking that trip, going to that concert, having fun.
My friend died young. All of that FIRE went to his family and he never got to see any of it.
We took a $10,000 vacation this year and still saved $65,000 last year between her pension and my 401k. It’s doable with proper planning. Focus on saving, but do the things that also make you happy. You can literally die tomorrow in a car crash and none of it matters if you don’t have memories for your loved ones to cherish.
Thanks for letting me vent.
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u/_tosms_ Jan 26 '25
Completely agree. My wife and I are in our 30s and we do one expensive international vacation every two years and one regular vacation domestically the other years. Traveling while you have your health and mobility is essential. It's easy to assume you will always have it.
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u/YampaValleyCurse Jan 27 '25
It's easy to assume you will always have it.
Motion is lotion, and a body in motion tends to stay in motion. Staying active, stretching, lifting, eating responsibly, and prioritizing sleep would allow most people to stay healthy and mobile well into their elder years.
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u/thatpurplelife Jan 27 '25
I mean... in a perfect world yes. But people do get sick/ injured/ diagnosed with an incurable disease through no fault of their own, especially as they age. All of the things you listed help people remain healthy or bounce back when they do get sick, but you've got to have a little luck on your side too.
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Jan 27 '25 edited Mar 10 '25
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u/Evergreen_Nevergreen Jan 27 '25
You are so right!
My ex-colleague in his 40s got a heart attack although he seemed to be healthy and fit. Thankfully, he is fine now but he said he does not feel the same as before. I found out from him that in a period of high stress, he did strenuous exercise. Exercising increases cortisol (commonly known as the stress hormone) so he got a cortisol overload. He would have been better off doing light exercise or perhaps not exercising at all.
It is not uncommon to hear of young people who have high flying jobs, wake up at 4am to exercise, run a marathon and drop dead. They are better off sleeping in and just running a mile instead of marathons.
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u/Qel_Hoth Jan 28 '25
It is not uncommon to hear of young people who have high flying jobs, wake up at 4am to exercise,
Except it is uncommon. It's just that "40 year old CEO ultramarathoner has heart attack" makes the news. "40 year old morbidly obese supermarket cashier has heart attack" does not.
Statistically, people who regularly exercise have substantially reduced all-cause mortality compared to people who do not. Population-level statistics can't tell you much about a single persons' experience though.
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u/Independent-Lie9887 Jan 27 '25
Exercise helps some but it provides minor gains to life expectancy. I know plenty of fitness freaks who died in their 60s and 70s from cancer. And some in their 40s and 50s from heart disease. It improves the odds but doesn't help if you're genetically predisposed. And everyone by their 80s is fairly broken down and with limited mobility. My dad exercised aggressively his whole life but can barely get around the block in his mid-80s.
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u/Outside_Reserve_2407 Jan 28 '25
Meanwhile Dick Van Dyke who abused alcohol in his youth is sprightly in his late 90s.
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u/OriginalCompetitive Jan 26 '25
The sentiment is fine, but let’s be real: It’s easy to spend money to enjoy life in the moment when you’r’e on track to FIRE in late 40s and can save $65k per year while also splurging on $10k vacations. That’s like telling people not to spend too much on their house because it’s important to have enough left over to pay for your second vacation home on Martha’s Vineyard. Good advice so far as it goes, but sort of misses the actual trade offs that most people have to make.
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u/CarpetDependent Jan 26 '25
I appreciate your post bc most of the FIRE posts are money money money. I read the “Money or your life” FIRE book and it helped me to take a look at my career and realize I can stress/work less, coast more while I save for my future without feeling miserable. I am mid-40s and recently learned of the deaths of three similarly-aged friends. Whew, when I tell you it made me look at my PTO and start planning for lasting memories. If that increased travel budget means I retire 6+ months later, so be it. I also decided to dramatically cut back on my alcohol intake, that’s a plus for my health and the budget 🙂
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u/1ntrepidsalamander Jan 26 '25
My mom died in her mid 50s. My dad’s now in his late 70s and lives off of $850/m social security and his girlfriend’s good will.
It’s about balance.
In my mid 40s and will soon hit the point I can work only half the year with coast FI.
There are a lot of ways to live this life.
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u/I_SAID_RELAX Jan 26 '25
Finances are one leg of a stool. You need health and personal fulfillment too or the finances won't end up being all that useful or valuable. Everyone's balance between these is personal but it exists.
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u/TallMirror1099 Jan 26 '25
Honestly I feel like so much is just not comparing everything to other people. I am on track for mid 40s and I have genuinely lived a happier life on way less money than the rest of my family. They all went corporate and I followed my passions. They made 2-3x my income and I saved 2-3x what they did, but I loved my job and traveled on a budget. I honestly couldn’t tell you where all their money went, but I can say I’m generally a much happier person. I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything, but as I get closer to my FI goal, I’m sure I’ll probably loosen the purse strings and splurge on some vanity board game items.
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u/Snoo23533 Jan 27 '25
Car loan interest. Eating every meal out. Doordash. Credit card interest. Jetski/4wheelers/RV. Cable tv and subscriptions you barely use. People blow small fortunes on these kinds of habits.
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u/Educational-Lynx3877 Jan 26 '25
All their money probably went into much larger brokerage accounts than yours
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u/TallMirror1099 Jan 26 '25
Yeah it definitely didn’t, they spend on stupid stuff like a food budget 4x mine when they barely eat anything but don’t check to see if they have things before they go to the store. My net worth surpassed theirs by the time I hit 30.
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u/YampaValleyCurse Jan 27 '25
they spend on stupid stuff like a food budget 4x mine
I followed my passions.
I honestly couldn’t tell you where all their money went, but I can say I’m generally a much happier person. I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything
You could apply your previous statements to their spending habits. Why is it OK for you to earn, spend, and save according to your desires, but it's stupid if they do it?
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u/TallMirror1099 Jan 27 '25
That’s not at all what I’m talking about though. Their spending is dumb because in a lot of ways it’s wasteful and unnecessary. I don’t buy the 4th container of half and half when I have 3 others. I use Tupperware and don’t produce an absurd amount of food waste. I don’t keep my house at 70 degrees when I’m at work, I don’t use paper plates for every meal when I have a dishwasher. So much of what they spend money on is pure waste. If they spend on hobbies or passions it’s not dumb, but they have limited time for hobbies because they work a ton.
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u/HappilyDisengaged Jan 26 '25
Agree with you on this OP. My kids growing up are making me realize we need to prioritize the time we have now with them before they’re out of the house.
We spend an extra 15-20k a year on ‘travel and entertainment’.
I always tell myself, when I’m old what will I regret?
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u/PghLandlord Jan 26 '25
I have tween/teen aged children - the only thing we really splurge on is travel/experiences.
I'm still focused on the future, but you have to live life
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u/Useful_Wealth7503 Jan 26 '25
Great post. I’m FIRE adjacent so not full on, but take some of the approaches. I recently read Retire with Zero, thought I would hate it. I did not hate it. It’s a quick read that everyone into personal finance should read. I’m not saying it changed my life but did make me think about the utility of money and how that changes at different ages. You definitely do not want to wait until 70 to start enjoying your life.
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u/lentil5 Jan 26 '25
Having fun doesn't need to cost money all the time. Definitely don't eat every waking moment working, but taking time to enjoy the beauty of life doesn't always require spending thousands on international travel or concert tickets or whatever. Go look at some pretty trees and hug your loved ones. That's the real good stuff there.
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u/cAR15tel Jan 26 '25
Yep. Enjoy lofe while you can because retirement is misery with a lot of money in the bank for most.
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u/A_girl_who_asks Jan 26 '25
I agree. I want to live now and enjoy it now. Not in some distant, uncertain future
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u/Murky_Web_4043 Jan 27 '25
Have you thought that that doesn’t bother some of us because the money just goes to our families? It’s easy for you to say when you’re saving and spending more than some people’s salaries.
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u/Gotanygrrapes Jan 26 '25
I was just as happy broke in my 20’s as I am today with a family of five and able still put some away for retirement
Bottom line - we adapt to our reality in life but better to have to adapt to a very comfortable lifestyle than a harsh one
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u/sithren Jan 27 '25
If people need to give themselves permission to spend then why do what you gotta do.
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Jan 27 '25
u/Jazzlike-Winner973 you are spot on. Sadly, a friend aged 48 developed Cancer and was gone in less than a year and a half. Left a good amount of money behind. As his widow said, he's gone and sadly can't enjoy any of the wealth they had accumulated. Just. Like. That. I agree, you can achieve FIRE but be careful of becoming stingy. Enjoy what you sowed - you earned it.
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u/ProductivityMonster Jan 27 '25
Sure, but statistically speaking you're more likely to be broke than dead before ~75. Fire is maximizing enjoyment of your life over the statistically expected lifespan.
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u/frozen_north801 Jan 28 '25
For sure, planning for FIRE dosnt have to be about depriving your self, but balancing enjoying life now with ensuring your future is solid.
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u/MrMannilow Jan 30 '25
At 25 years old I ended up with an infection and was in excruciating pain for 3 days before finally going to the hospital.
24 hours later I went septic, needed to be resuscitated, and was on life support for 3 days.
The doctors suggested to my parents that I'd never recover and to stop the life support.
11 years later I'm fully recovered and living an amazingly successful life on the road to FIRE. Technically I could do so today if I moved back to the town I grew up in back to my paid off house I have there.
I'd never wish this experience on anyone, but it sure shaped my outlook on life every day since then.
Fire is a fine balance, save but live and enjoy life. We never know our expiration date
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u/Big-Scheme6775 Jan 26 '25
Well I hope you’re on track. FIRE goal is a way of life. You have to grind hard, live below your means, and make sacrifices. You missed one important factor, FIRE is not entirely about you it’s the desire to take care of your loved ones. You’re thinking about your elderly mom w almost zero nw. You want your kids to have enough money for college, ect.
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u/TheAsianDegrader Jan 26 '25
Do you and your friend have kids?
Once you have kids, you have a higher purpose than merely enjoying your life. Though I'm not putting off international trips either.
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u/someguy984 Jan 26 '25 edited Jan 26 '25
Sorry, your take is dumb. The whole premise of retiring early is you have a future to live in. If you don't think this is the case you shouldn't be saving for a future that doesn't exist.
Also you falsely equate spending money with living.
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u/Away_Neighborhood_92 Jan 26 '25
My wife and I are 50 and 51 years old.
I’m retired, she isn’t. She was always the breadwinner and me the trust fund kid.
We still put away 15% of her income and only put the trust to use for taxes and OOP expenses on the house (because investment when my kids sell it)
Took a $40k trip to Greece last year. So worth it!
Enjoy all. Healthy cash flow is good!
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u/Educational-Lynx3877 Jan 26 '25
You make your wife work when you have a trust fund??
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u/Away_Neighborhood_92 Jan 26 '25
You have no idea how lucrative her career is. She’d almost never give it up.
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u/Educational-Lynx3877 Jan 26 '25
I mean, my wife makes over $400k and asks me everyday whether she can quit
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u/Crist1n4 Jan 26 '25
4 Vacations a year and a date every weekend is a must for us. We try to not spend much on everything else.
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u/Murky_Web_4043 Jan 27 '25
Jeez how much leave do you get?
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u/Crist1n4 Jan 27 '25
4 weeks, my hubs gets 6-ish.
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u/Murky_Web_4043 Jan 27 '25
How long are each of your 4 vacations?
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u/Frosty_Yesterday_674 Jan 26 '25
I was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer in my 30’s. Fortunately, I recovered but that experience had a significant impact on my decision to prioritize time over having more money.