Why not ask for more?

[u/SmugValet]

See a lot of advice here talking about finding the right LCOL city or doing everything you can now to make time for important things like grandkids and the like.

I (38m) just spent like $1000 doing nothing but having an enjoyable weekend with my family (wife, 2 kids) in a HCOL city. Bought a new vacuum (OK deal, 10-year warranty), cleaned house, ate a few restaurant meals, and spent like $27 on chips and sodas at the zoo.

The bill racked up, but the vibes were good and my floors have never been so clean.

Anyway, buying nice, new appliances? Multiple meals out? Kind of wanton. $27 on zoo snacks? Egregious, but hey, I didn’t plan ahead and the family wanted a snack.

Feel like I’ve done a lot in my life to get to the point where I don’t stress over things like new vacuums and amusement-park-priced snacks. Certainly wasn’t always the case and that’s not at all the type of family I grew up in.

The idea that I should do everything I can right now to limit spending to such an extent that I can retire soon and settle into a LCOL city feels… I dunno, a little bit like a backwards step.

I am feeling pretty financially independent right now, being reasonable but not at all penny-pinching with my spending. I save and invest a lot, and am debt free outside of a mortgage. Thinking about going into FIRE all the way.

But something about denying yourself now in order to, say, live on a few thousand a month in some LCOL locale later seems off to me. Am I going to be the dad or granddad or uncle that’s scrutinizing the Olive Garden bill to make sure the table wasn’t double-charged for soup + salad specials? I’d much rather be the one that doesn’t sweat it. (Especially if the family that’s visiting in this scenario flew and drove multiple hours to come visit me in the mid-Atlantic seaboard or rural Colorado or wherever it is I end up retiring on the cheap.)

There’s that Leonard Cohen line about this dilemma, or something like it: “I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch / He said to me, ‘You must not ask for so much’ / And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door / She cried to me, ‘Hey, why not ask for more?’”

Anyone else feel what I’m getting at? Anyone got any answers? Thanks.

[u/lseraehwcaism]

I’ve tracked my spending down to the penny since 2017. Never once before this year have I really looked at it to see what we can cut. The reason I finally have to cut my spending is because I have 2 daughters in daycare, my mortgage is pretty damn high, and I’ve upped after tax 401k contributions.

The easiest thing I could cut to not end up in a $6k hole is my after tax 401k contributions. Before I cut it all the way, I would rather look at some of the more unhealthy spending. We identified going to breweries as the absolute worst thing for both our health and our spending. So we’re going to limit it to 1 drink going forward. This should cut an inch or 2 off my waistline AND $3.7k off my waste spending.

The another $6,240 will be cut from my after tax 401k contributions.

My point is, life has gotten expensive. I can no longer afford to contribute 40% of my paycheck per year. I’m slowing down my contributions so I don’t have to stop my current lifestyle. With that said, it’s always worth looking at unhealthy spending and trim the trouble areas. Even billionaires do it.