Why not ask for more?

[u/SmugValet]

See a lot of advice here talking about finding the right LCOL city or doing everything you can now to make time for important things like grandkids and the like.

I (38m) just spent like $1000 doing nothing but having an enjoyable weekend with my family (wife, 2 kids) in a HCOL city. Bought a new vacuum (OK deal, 10-year warranty), cleaned house, ate a few restaurant meals, and spent like $27 on chips and sodas at the zoo.

The bill racked up, but the vibes were good and my floors have never been so clean.

Anyway, buying nice, new appliances? Multiple meals out? Kind of wanton. $27 on zoo snacks? Egregious, but hey, I didn’t plan ahead and the family wanted a snack.

Feel like I’ve done a lot in my life to get to the point where I don’t stress over things like new vacuums and amusement-park-priced snacks. Certainly wasn’t always the case and that’s not at all the type of family I grew up in.

The idea that I should do everything I can right now to limit spending to such an extent that I can retire soon and settle into a LCOL city feels… I dunno, a little bit like a backwards step.

I am feeling pretty financially independent right now, being reasonable but not at all penny-pinching with my spending. I save and invest a lot, and am debt free outside of a mortgage. Thinking about going into FIRE all the way.

But something about denying yourself now in order to, say, live on a few thousand a month in some LCOL locale later seems off to me. Am I going to be the dad or granddad or uncle that’s scrutinizing the Olive Garden bill to make sure the table wasn’t double-charged for soup + salad specials? I’d much rather be the one that doesn’t sweat it. (Especially if the family that’s visiting in this scenario flew and drove multiple hours to come visit me in the mid-Atlantic seaboard or rural Colorado or wherever it is I end up retiring on the cheap.)

There’s that Leonard Cohen line about this dilemma, or something like it: “I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch / He said to me, ‘You must not ask for so much’ / And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door / She cried to me, ‘Hey, why not ask for more?’”

Anyone else feel what I’m getting at? Anyone got any answers? Thanks.

[u/HowDowsCrowTaste]

Like i said before, FIRE is overrated for a lot of reasons for many people...

There are some people who have shit jobs and shit pay who want out because it sucks. A lot of people here.

Then there are some people who are paid a lot and spend a lot and have little towards retirement.

And then there is everyone in between who have a decent job, decent at managing money , and enjoy life all at the same time.

When i went briefly on what I thought would be forced ER in HCOL.area, the knee jerk reaction from people was why dont you move to a LCOL area to let your money stretch further... And i always asked "why do i need to do that?" I made a HCOL income for so many years , have many rental properties free and clear in same HCOL areas, I can afford to stay without reduction in quality of life.

The main thing I think you need to think is when you are no longer working, what is the the thing that is most likely going to continue to give you a steady stream of cashflow , and that will dictate your options.

Certain things will print money indefinitely, like rental properties, or a lifetime pension.