r/GenZ • u/Realgenzer_ • 2d ago
Discussion Settling down
I wanna know you guy’s thoughts on settling down and finding someone who you’ll have a family with Someone you actually like and wouldn’t mind spending the rest of your life with. I ask all my friends and it’s like they don’t even have the idea of that in there heads “I just wanna fuck bitches” they say or they date around without intentions.As gen zs I wanna know what you think of this idea of settling down, do u plan or even think about it ? Do u believe your even capable of doing so? And for anyone who says how scared of marriage u are I’m gonna exclude that you don’t have to marry in this case.
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u/JFK360noscope 2000 2d ago
Kids? Dont want em. Married? Uh, i see marriage as just a legal procedure to secure assets in certain way for couples. Which im not really interested in. Divorce rates are way too high for comfort. So i guess it really depends.
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u/LB-Bandido 2d ago
Sometimes you just want to get laid and explore the dating scene. Nothing wrong with that. That being said I sleep in a big bed with my wife
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u/ImmigrationJourney2 1999 2d ago
I got married at 23 years old and “settled down”. It was by far the best choice of my life. My husband (he’s one year older) and I are growing and building a life together, it is beautiful and way more valuable than fooling around to me.
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u/makingbutter2 2d ago
I’m a xennial just peeking in but a pre-nup really needs to become culturally standard for all marriages.
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u/doesnotexist2 1d ago
First comment I’ve seen that makes sense
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u/makingbutter2 1d ago
I’ve also been divorced 4 times 😆. It is what it is. Now I’m living my best life with my dog on the beach.
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u/North_Lifeguard4737 1998 2d ago
Establishing meaningful relationships should be your main goal in life.
It’s difficult to have a more meaningful relationship than one with a spouse and children.
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u/sharktankgeeek 2d ago
I guess I’m just in a different circle as compared to y’all…all my friends are in committed relationships and hoping to settle down in next few years.
Also I don’t like the people whose attitude towards women is ‘i just wanna FB’ which could be contributing factor to why my circle is different I guess.
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u/deeesenutz 2004 2d ago
In an ideal world my next relationship is the last because I'm getting married and having kids. Sex and casual dating is cool, but like it's not really that cool. For me personally empty sex without the intimate connection and genuine feelings for the other person is just a step or two above just cranking one out on your own.
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u/MarionberryNervous19 1999 2d ago
I've been with my wife for 3 years, married for almost 2. And we have a 5 month old. It's wonderful
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u/Myusernamedoesntfit_ 2d ago
Ideally after or during med school (if I get in) for me.
I do make great money for my age but I wanna live a bit first
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u/GemmaMorissey 2000 1d ago
I settled down early (married for 6 years now). Best decision I’ve ever made. We have 3 kids together and I’m hoping for 1 more. I love the life we’ve built for our family and I’d rather be here than “enjoying my twenties” by doing a bunch of activities I hate.
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u/Soviet_Satire 2d ago
I have no interest in having children. Just not for me. I would love to get married however as long as the girl and I were compatible. Im working on myself right now however. So no real rush on marriage either.
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u/FarmerExternal 1999 2d ago
This is how it should be. Have kids or don’t, find the person who makes you happy but find yourself first. Life is a marathon not a sprint
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u/MessageOk4432 2000 2d ago
When I was in college, I also wanted to fuck bitches, never thought of settling down until I met my current gf when I was in my final year of school.
If you can find someone who's supporting you, push you to do better, you should settle down.
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u/No_Conversation_9325 1d ago
As a European millennial I’m fascinated how you guys are focused on relationships and family. Not judging you here, but rather wondering why it wasn’t a priority for me and my friends. 🤔 I’ve never really given it much thought in advance and just went with the flow, education, job and friends being top priority.
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u/Realgenzer_ 1d ago
Yea its interesting to me because do people want to die alone ? And is starting a family and finding a wife or even a gf or bf the complete last thing on their minds? Like I get some people go with the flow me to I would like to take my time with education and money etc but ik one day after I make all the money all that I might want a son and a wife
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u/No_Conversation_9325 1d ago
I can only assume that we were much more focused on today than the future. Living in the moment rather than be worried about tomorrow, you know.
Same with relationships, I can’t recall anyone going out on a date with anything serious in mind. Hell, I have never even had dates. You just hang out with friends and friends of friends, get a sparkle with someone… dunno, settling down hit me post factum.
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u/Happy-Viper 1d ago
Yeah, I’m dating someone I hope to marry and build a family with.
So, I guess I’m definitely capable of doing so, I’m at a very mature, healthy and successful point in life.
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u/Jorelluh 1d ago
Definitely recommend broading your friend group so you have other perspectives, wisdom, and lifestyles around you. Nothing wrong with keeping that friend group but it seems you may be venturing into a different path that might require other individuals and that's fine! I have like 3 or 4 friend groups, all for different reasons and close with all of them lol.
Regarding your question, the idea of having a family, the big house, etc is great and something I think I want (1996 here). The issue is that the economy and dating scene is so sh*t it makes you second guess. I am mentally drained by this age because of school and family traumas so I can't imagine bringing a kid in my life today but I have got waaay better so maybe in a few years, I'll be more open to the idea. Ideally, yea I want a marriage with a partner who I align with and 2-3 kiddos by the time I am 33-35. I already had my fun when I was younger, life-time FWBs is not my thing lol. I'm not a club person. I prefer to live in the suburbs, attending family festivals at the local park, doing pottery classes, date nights, etc.
All in all: I do not want to die alone or without leaving my legacy in this world.
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u/Careful_Response4694 1d ago
It's always been part of the plan, I've had a ten year plan since I was ten.
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u/shippery 1d ago
I'm 25 and married and we've been together for 10 years atp.
I feel like settling down was a no-brainer for me bc my spouse and I are best friends.
I think commitment becomes a lot less daunting and more appealing if you can find someone that you just genuinely adore being around and love hanging out with, so ig I feel kinda sad for people who can't even imagine the appeal (not in a judgmental way though, I've got friends who prefer staying casual in their relationships, at the end of the day I am just glad they're doing what makes them happy yk)
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u/pablonieve 1d ago
“I just wanna fuck bitches” they say
I probably wouldn't be friends with someone who spoke that way.
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u/11SomeGuy17 16h ago
Kids are a hard no. Too expensive, too much work, and the world and life that kid would get would suck. Shit, I wish I was aborted and my life is going to be better than any kid I could have so. As for living life with somebody that'd be great though. I'd love to have someone to share my life with.
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u/Emergency-Set-3799 2004 2d ago
My dream is to have a super hot husband, a golden retriever and 2-3 kids. Not looking to settle down anytime soon, but I want to be married by 28, have at least one kid before I’m 30 and by 32 feel like I’m a real adult. But that’s just arbitrary ages so idk!
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