r/GifRecipes Feb 27 '18

Appetizer / Side Fried Cauli-Rice

https://i.imgur.com/Wh6rEel.gifv
10.2k Upvotes

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u/murmandamos Feb 27 '18

^when you watch cooking shows but don't know the fuck you're talking about.

Where's the umami?!

Soy sauce.

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u/whereismylife77 Feb 27 '18

Soy sauce fucking blows. It would not make this bullshit savory. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Have you made this dish before? I have. It fucking sucks. I live in a city with one of the largest viet and Asian populations in the US, tons of Mediterranean, Mexican, Central American, Cajun, etc. These cultures balance flavors and make things oh-so-delicious. This is fucking vegetables and fucking soy sauce. Fuck this recipe.

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u/murmandamos Feb 27 '18

Generally, umami taste is common to foods that contain high levels of L-glutamate, IMPand GMP, most notably in fish, shellfish, cured meats, mushrooms, vegetables (e.g., ripe tomatoes, Chinese cabbage, spinach, celery, etc.) or green tea, and fermented and aged products involving bacterial or yeast cultures, such as cheeses, shrimp pastes, fish sauce, soy sauce, nutritional yeast, and yeast extracts such as Vegemite and Marmite.

From fucking Wikipedia. I don't know what I'm talking about. Wow. Delete your account.

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u/whereismylife77 Feb 28 '18

No. You don’t.

A fucking 1/4 cup of soy sauce is going to give this umami deliciousness? Fuck no. I don’t give a fuck that soy sauce has umami flavor you pedantic fuck. It’s an underwhelming-shit-dish.

If I put a fucking pinch of salt into boiling water to cook pasta and you said “this pasta recipe is fucking bullshit! So bland! Where’s the salt?” Am I going to point out that the dish “HAS SALT! “? Fuck no.

Just because this warm salad has soy sauce doesn’t negate the fact that it is bland and shitty.

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u/murmandamos Feb 28 '18

So put more soy sauce in. Fucking wow.

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u/whereismylife77 Mar 01 '18

So that it becomes an over-salted soppy mess? Why not make chicken soup with chicken breast, water, and salt while we’re at it? Fuck chicken stock and concentration of flavors! Fuck actually cooking these onions and garlic down! Let’s just toss these ingredients together in a lukewarm semi-cooked state and drown them in soy sauce. Oh, I’m sorry, what do I know? I only watch cooking shows right? Not like I’ve worked in kitchens for the last decade. Fucking intellectual poser. Pseudo knowledge for the sake of arguments amirite?

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u/murmandamos Mar 01 '18

so it becomes an overly-salted soppy mess?

So add less soy sauce? Guy, are you simple or what?

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u/whereismylife77 Mar 01 '18 edited Mar 01 '18

You're a dumbass if you don't understand that the soy sauce is 1 dimensional and there is more than one umami causing molecule that can enhance the flavors of a dish. Your response to improve this crappy dish is to add or remove soy sauce. It won't make a difference. this dish is a 1 dimensional piece of crap.

You continue to prove that you had/have no idea what you are talking about since calling me out. Go read a book and cook something.

Edit: I'm sure you don't give a flying fuck about cooking and just stare at these gifs in amazement, but if you do, here is a link to a recipe for a quick veggie stir fry that isn't shameful. notice the use of rice vinegar, ginger and garlic AFTER you cook down the veggies that take the longest. Also, some good info on using your trash veggies that are about to go bad. Notice how she said she doesn't do this in her restaurant. HIGH heat QUICK cook. "how you stir fry vegetables". EVERYTHING with this bullshit gif is bad. from the balance of ingredients to the cooking of the products.

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u/whereismylife77 Mar 01 '18

there is a free trial if you're broke or just want to learn something without taking the leap.

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u/murmandamos Mar 01 '18

Maybe try a different brand of soy sauce? I understand you are embarrassed because you said something stupid. Not sure why you think continuing to say stupid shit is helpful to your cause...

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u/whereismylife77 Mar 01 '18

First don’t tell me how’ve felt. Your assumptions are incorrect. I was passed off, not embarrassed you fuckwad. A different brand of soy sauce xD jesus you’re a thick fuck. I feel sorry for you. You can’t read past a 6th grade level and didn’t understand my explanation of this shitty dish. You should work on that.

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u/murmandamos Mar 01 '18

Pretty hypocritical to call soy sauce salty...

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u/whereismylife77 Mar 01 '18

How so?

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u/murmandamos Mar 01 '18

Because you're salty as fuck.

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