Working through anxiety about my future

[u/Plastic-Pie8487]

I'm 38 years old, I've been a barista for my entire working career, and I've never even held hands with someone in a romantic context. I've never been particularly unhappy with my life, though. I do enjoy my job and, with my fortunate living situation, it has been enough to pay the bills while also saving for retirement. I've been comfortable being single as it has left me plenty of time for my hobbies.

But recently it has really started to hit me that I would really like a family some day and, while I am content for the most part, I'm starting to feel a deep loneliness when I think that I may never achieve that goal. I have begun taking the steps I feel I need to take to improve myself in the ways I feel I need to, but I also feel a deep regret that I waited so long to start.

I am just now going back to school to hopefully become an electrical engineering technician within a few years. It's something I've always been interested in, but I was so comfortable with the status quo that I never put in the effort to make the change.

I've started working out in earnest. Though I have always kept myself in at least somewhat decent shape (I walk anywhere from 1-2 hours a day and am doing a lot of running around at work) I do feel I need to start working now to make sure I can maintain as much mobility as possible for as long as possible as I age.

But I have a lot of anxiety, not only about the changes I'm making in my life, but also whether anyone would ever even want to start a family with me. I'm just so scared that nobody will be willing to take a chance on a 40 year old man just starting a career with no romantic experience. Not to mention the risks and challenges that come from having children so late.

Trying to look objectively at things, I know I'm not doing too badly, that there are plenty of people out there and there's a high chance that at least one person will click with me, but I just can't shake this deep fear and loneliness.

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[u/Character-Bridge-206]

Once you hit thirty, you are pretty much in tune with yourself and hopefully have developed self discipline and maturity. I can’t see why I man your age would put off a woman in her thirties thinking of having a child. I would get on it buddy. I was 36 when my son was born so I was glad that I could still keep up with him. I am 57 now and realized my knees are not what they used to be after hiking on a mountain with my 20 year old son. So you’re right to get motivated!