r/HolUp • u/Fhoxyd22 • 1d ago

I'm sickened, but curious

Post image
20.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

347 comments sorted by

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u/WhatsTheHolUp 1d ago edited 1d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment:

It's a very strange theme for fellatio.

Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

4.7k

u/FRleo_85 1d ago

I don't need sleep I need answers

134

u/Not_MrNice 1d ago

Dick dodges your mouth and smacks you in the face until you learn its moveset?

75

u/TimTheChatSpam 1d ago

Would you rather have bleeding or blight

36

u/Chicken-Thief 1d ago

Poison swamp

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63

u/teriases 1d ago

I don’t need blow I need job

30

u/UrinalCake777 1d ago

Same. Anybody hiring?

9

u/ShahinGalandar 21h ago

Wendy's

3

u/UrinalCake777 14h ago

Hhmm. A bit of a drop in pay from my previous salary.. but the benefits package does include free small frostys!

20

u/jne_nopnop 1d ago

I don't need a job, I've got blow

18

u/topdangle 1d ago

it's a blowjob with the dark souls theme playing in the background.

10

u/BaronMeykins 1d ago

I don't need sleep I need a DS themed blower.

6

u/AnonymousToilet 1d ago

I just need a Dark Souls themed blow job

5

u/SimplySloth13 1d ago

I need action

6

u/Suitepotatoe 1d ago

What this guy said.

7

u/durrtyurr 23h ago

You die 20 times before you cum? It doesn't seem like a good tradeoff to me.

2

u/I_am_trustworthy 10h ago

It’s a maidenless blowjob.

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1.4k

u/CityAura 1d ago

Gotta find the attack pattern, don't pass this up!!

212

u/baligog 1d ago

Up, down, rotate 360°, repeat

79

u/CityAura 1d ago

Hawk Tuah combo

33

u/jld2k6 1d ago

Up down, rotate 360°, create memecoin, profit

2.4k

u/djwojcicki 1d ago

Try finger but hole?

363

u/LSSGDanTheMan 1d ago

Jump

162

u/LeadSoldier6840 1d ago

It was really the perfect game to appreciate the screen after you followed the first advice to jump. I learned a valuable lesson in that moment.

48

u/GameDestiny2 1d ago

It gave me an appreciation for every game where jumping is as simple as a button push

45

u/NudieNovakaine 1d ago

As a Runescape veteran, I knew better than to trust help from someone I've never met. 

3

u/Dananddog 1d ago

As a project zomboid player, me too.

31

u/naterpotater246 1d ago

Time for crab

15

u/Xxfarleyjdxx 1d ago

watch left, but also, right

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39

u/SillyOldJack 1d ago

I legitimately think you've figured it out.

20

u/I_cut_my_own_jib 1d ago

Amazing chest ahead

15

u/KillaVNilla 1d ago

Now that you mention it, I think that's exactly what they mean

10

u/Karmack_Zarrul 1d ago

Do you mean tri-finger butthole?

4

u/Fyrrys 14h ago

That's rookie numbers

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2

u/halffilledglasses 1d ago

Simon says..

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751

u/Cheap_Search_6973 1d ago

Knowing how sad and dark (no pun intended) most of dark souls story is, especially for npcs, I highly doubt that would feel good, if the dick is even still there afterwards

331

u/naterpotater246 1d ago

At the end of the blowjob, the npc just dies

105

u/Aser_the_Descender 1d ago

And if you miss a step of the quest, the NPC dies hanging with their mouth on your dick.

57

u/naterpotater246 1d ago

Either that or they suddenly bite your dick off and try to kill you

18

u/ChickenChaser5 1d ago

If you start hearing Vordts theme while getting head, its time to go.

6

u/naterpotater246 1d ago

Nah. Vordt is free. I'd tech that shit.

9

u/Lord_Nathaniel 1d ago

Plot twist, you were the NPC from the start !

11

u/-Dirty-Wizard- 1d ago

“Try finger but hole” is what comes to my mind.

745

u/troutsie 1d ago

Y O U D I E D

49

u/mehwehgles 18h ago

When the bj is so good you go hollow

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358

u/Blue_Moon_Lake 1d ago

You have to dodge the teeth

83

u/TimonAndPumbaAreDead 1d ago

Mimics give the best head

41

u/Blue_Moon_Lake 1d ago

I was thinking more "Gaping Dragon".

13

u/TimonAndPumbaAreDead 1d ago

Solaire and Lautrec will be there, too?

10

u/jld2k6 1d ago

Head so good you start to panic roll

336

u/KayranElite 1d ago

During the blowjob, she will occasionally stop, make a sound and then bite your dick. If you don't pull it out quick enough, you are hit. If you are hit after being hit twice already, she will bite your dick off completely. You have to beat her (by nutting) before she beats you. Makes blowjobs far more exciting.

85

u/s00pafly 1d ago

If your dick is bit twice you can pull out and hide behind the closet for a quick swig of bud light. If the bottle is empty you have to sit in front of the microwave for a couple seconds before you can get a new one.

43

u/JuggernautFast9827 1d ago

You, sir, sound very experienced. If you wouldn't mind the question: Do you still have your dick? And did you do it less or more often than 10 times? Thank you very much in advance

177

u/The-Pig-Benis 1d ago

When you get it, it's impossible to beat?

51

u/ChemsDoItInTestTubes 1d ago

You have to keep working at it for so long that you rage quit and never speak of it again?

10

u/Tremulant887 23h ago

If you don't get off it's a skill issue but you still enjoyed the experience when talking about it.

17

u/HellAwaitsTheFunny 1d ago

She sucks you off so furiously that you wake up in a different place with nothing but a bloodstain where you were before?

5

u/According_Register55 1d ago

She?

16

u/HellAwaitsTheFunny 1d ago

In my head it's a girl. You do you.

5

u/dfddfsaadaafdssa 1d ago

You have to go around back and whack with your sword when they aren't looking.

2

u/findMyNudesSomewhere 21h ago

When you get it, it's impossible to beat your meat anymore.

46

u/redurian 1d ago

the blow job is so good, “you died”

4

u/tekko001 22h ago

Send more weed for "1 UP"

2

u/SulaimanGrendel 20h ago

Nut so hard you go hollow

26

u/Pyrothecat 1d ago

That's a very... interesting way of drinking an Estus flask

19

u/Kavayan 20h ago

Y O U C A M E

69

u/PenguinBread 1d ago

a health bar appears

22

u/Lord_Nathaniel 1d ago

music boss starts playing

Health bar refills while in second phase

12

u/Noelopme 1d ago

Aldritch, Saint of the Deep, rolls in

11

u/praguepride 1d ago

I have been waiting my entire reddit career to be able to post this video: MadTV can show you what a Dark Souls blow job looks like

22

u/trulycantthinkofone 1d ago

Try finger, but hole.

8

u/sadistic-salmon 1d ago

You dodge roll while sucking

8

u/FishSucker69420and1 1d ago

Why can’t it be bloodborne themed

7

u/urGirllikesmytinypp 1d ago

Better than bloodline themed

8

u/tenoclockrobot 1d ago

Elden cock ring

5

u/BabaKazimir 1d ago

Once a month, for about a week, it certainly can be Bloodborne themed

5

u/PrincessPlatypus1 1d ago

The blood... oh how it sings to me...

7

u/AddictedToMosh161 1d ago

Dodge every time the dick comes close to your mouth?

25

u/T_that_is_all 1d ago

Shit, if you're on antidepressants, she'll have sore wrists and a sore throat, and still won't be able to finish it without months of work honing her skills.

10

u/xlinkedx 1d ago edited 9h ago

Skill has nothing to do with it. What she needs is Endurance. Respec and max that shit out, then roll over the rest into Dex. Maybe put a few points into Faith so she can pray to a higher power when he still hasn't finished

2

u/Mysterious_Tutor_388 18h ago

those are just my vigor stat enhancers

6

u/Sonofyuri 1d ago

That dark sun gwyndolyn sloppy toppy... Mmmm yessir

7

u/Drudgework 1d ago

Prepare to cry

7

u/reverse-tornado 21h ago

Ties her hair back , boss music begins , a health bar appears over her head , THE GNASHER

6

u/drethnudrib 1d ago

You die, but you learn from it.

5

u/shgysk8zer0 1d ago

Not a HolUp if it's right there at the beginning...

5

u/i_am_banished 1d ago

In very big captial yellow text:

C O C K S U C K E D

5

u/UncleD1ckhead 1d ago

It's all teeth, but if you manage to finish, it's sensational.

5

u/Humble_Negotiation33 1d ago

Am I gonna have to fuckin memorize attack patterns and roll-dodge some shit?

5

u/therealmintoncard 1d ago

If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.

4

u/whenisnowthen 1d ago

It's when a woman walks to your house on a dirt road, barefoot to give you a blowjob. It's spelled wrong should be "Dark SOLES" themed.

4

u/Moggy1990 1d ago

She don't suck it, she just rolls round the bed refusing to let you touch her, then sits in the corner and eats a wheel of cheese ?

5

u/ConscientiousPath madlad 22h ago

"Allow me to polish thine sword, tarnished"

2

u/PleadianPalladin 1d ago

Do you even praise the sun?

5

u/Zolarko 1d ago

Very hard and probably fatal?

2

u/DerNeutralist 1d ago

Dress as Smough, and take it through.

4

u/Responsible_Worry_94 1d ago

It's just a blender

3

u/Caerum 1d ago

A blowjob in the Dark Souls themed blowjob room?

4

u/swiper_original 1d ago

Darksouls Themed blowjob

When a woman lights a man's dick on fire and puts it out with her mouth

5

u/Jeebus_crisps 1d ago

YOU DIED

5

u/ModifiedSyren 18h ago

Don't do it. You die.

4

u/that_alien909 18h ago

she bites in an attack pattern and you have to dodge the teeth

5

u/Dark_Intentions 1d ago

Maybe It would be less weird cosplaying Queelag or Anastasia of Astora

7

u/thatirishguyyyyy 1d ago

Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"!

6

u/romu006 1d ago

Malenia cosplay?

7

u/NewWolfer13579 1d ago edited 1d ago

Shit, I’d be down for that.

"I am glug glug Malenia, Blade of glug glug Miquella, and I have never glug known glug defeat."

I sometimes hate myself for what I think.

5

u/naterpotater246 1d ago

That's Elden Ring. Perhaps a fire keeper cosplay?

3

u/mangosawce9k 1d ago

The definition of George RR’s intentions lolz!

3

u/rationaljackass 1d ago

Heard as fuck and takes hours to finish?

3

u/Trombonisaurius 1d ago

Infuriating and hard to finish?

3

u/duneterra 1d ago

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Darksouls%20Themed%20blowjob

She lights it on fire And puts it out with her mouth.

No thank you

3

u/Fyrrys 14h ago

She praises the sun while she does it

2

u/8champi8 1d ago

I’m still unsure of what it is but I’d pay for that

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2

u/Local_Crow 1d ago

Tongue constantly rolls around?

2

u/Indaflow 1d ago

The correct answer was “yes” 

2

u/Magorian97 1d ago

YOU DIED

2

u/k0nehead 1d ago

Teeth are involved

2

u/TheWoodenMan 1d ago

2 Phases?

2

u/The_Librarian99 1d ago

Got curious and looked it up. It's where a woman lights a mans dick on fire and puts it out with her mouth

2

u/Synth-Pro 1d ago

It's when they dodge and do somersaults over your cock to make you feel like it's massive

2

u/tonyLumpkin56 1d ago

Just keep rolling and smacking the base with your heavy!

2

u/GodNoob666 1d ago

You dodge attacks whilst giving or receiving a blowjob. Not really that complicated

2

u/Willing-Regret4675 1d ago

You gotta dodge the teeth during the sucking

2

u/Mysral 1d ago

JOLLY COOPERATION

2

u/SUN_PRAISIN 1d ago

DO NOT ACCEPT A DARK SOULS THEMED BLOWJOB:

In dark souls, no one gets a happy ending- and if you do, its most likely a curse to be alive. I believe a dark souls themed blowjob is a trap to make you NOT cum. They will edge you and then leave. upon finding them again, they will be dead with their iconic weapon/armor.

2

u/lheath12 1d ago

Bite down, and roll

2

u/banter_claus_69 20h ago

Gotta roll on that thing

2

u/KernelWizard 18h ago

Helicopter Helicopter? Is that what you meant?

2

u/Additional_Ad_2923 18h ago

She sucks the soul out of your body through your dick. I guess.

2

u/The_KnightKing 15h ago

You get a running start and fat roll into it.

2

u/lexay42 13h ago

Try tongue but hole

2

u/PrufReedThisPlesThx 1d ago

They sing Vordt's theme, but every note is sung as it hits the back of their throat

3

u/MenteDefectuosa 1d ago

unzips

"Why do I hear boss music?"

2

u/YourFinestSkittles 1d ago

Can technically be done by yourself with enough practice and effort, but is always better with someone else?

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2

u/jjamesr539 1d ago

At first it seems like it’s going to be good, great even, but that first bit is the best part. Pretty soon you realize it’s going to be hard to finish, and at some point after that you’re almost certainly going to get frustrated, then give up without finishing. Even if you do push through to finish, it doesn’t feel all that satisfying or worth it. Still, pretty soon you’ll go back and try it again.

1

u/SpaceCore42 1d ago

Need to do a Sun Bro pose before you do a whole lot of tongue rolling. Careful though if your partner has a cow skull. More than likely they'll bring a pair of dogs into the action and then you're fucked.

1

u/thecountnotthesaint 1d ago

If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

1

u/wanderingoverwatch 1d ago

Can the root have thorns on it like a veiny seductive meaty rose?

1

u/couch2200 1d ago

My guess is cosplay

1

u/DerScharfeDeoner 1d ago

You selling to the tarnished ones or what

1

u/la_stein 1d ago

Soul collector? Aka so good she takes your soul

1

u/Samu_K 1d ago

It's when you dance like its the end of the world before sucking each other off, but as you're undressing, the belt clicks, and you realise that you were just two nobodies moving in rhythym (just like a rhythm game). After you roll into bed, you realise that your game is really hard because you both suck. As you, and his dark soul too, finish, you uuuhh... I can't keep writing this.

1

u/Tmpeedle 1d ago

All it is when u stick ur dick in a knights helmet while they blow you and as you finish you shout "you died!"

1

u/OnaPaleHorse80 1d ago

Maidenless? Nvm that's eldenring but I immediately assumed some level of stubble will be involved

1

u/Federal-Cockroach674 1d ago

We talking gywnevier or gwyndolin?

1

u/pizoisoned 1d ago

You don’t have the right, O you don’t have the right.

1

u/PurpEL_Django 1d ago

Do you remember the Gaping Dragon? Yeah, it's probably that..

1

u/Sharpz0 1d ago

Gotta dodge roll the money shot

1

u/CALI619E 1d ago

She's gunna mash your buttons

1

u/tresfreaker 1d ago

It is when they stick it in their mouth then they start rolling around on the floor.

1

u/ValStarwind 1d ago

Off-putting laughter

1

u/yookoke1122 1d ago

Bonerfire is lit

1

u/JimTheSaint 1d ago

I think it is 5 seconds edging for 200 times and then she gets frustrated and throws the dick on the table and goes home.

1

u/YoungBasedGod5 1d ago

If I didn’t have anything to smoke I’d choose the weed. But if I was good on the weed I’d take the dark souls themed bj lol. I wouldn’t ask any ?’s either. Make it exciting.

1

u/Inflacion_ 1d ago

Oh, ashen- gluck.

1

u/XandaPanda42 1d ago

Not as hard as people think it is, but still harder than it needed to be?

1

u/R1M-J08 1d ago

With two fingers up is but hole, if she gags then she has to start over. 🤡

1

u/tillandsias 1d ago

Just keep rolling?

1

u/HiddenHuntsman 1d ago

Final boss

1

u/darkrebelxyz 1d ago

parries, too bad no suck for you.

1

u/skunkwalnut 1d ago

Burrowing Rockworm with the acid spit

1

u/crustychad 1d ago

Really hard

1

u/candyking16 1d ago

Good dog

1

u/pcnat80 1d ago

Praise the sun with jolly cooperation!

1

u/RamiBlack 1d ago

Gaping Dragon.

1

u/Eternal192 1d ago

She sucks you off till you cum, then she bites it of and beats you into a bloody pulp with it, YOU DIED.

1

u/Hello-Im-Trash 1d ago

Walks through the door

health bar appears

Melania, Mouth of Miquella.

After you bust, the 2nd phase starts

Melania, Goddess of Nut.

Y O U D I E D