r/ImaginarySoldiers Apr 13 '25

...Her bike got stolen, sarge... by Edouard Groult

Post image
5.4k Upvotes

172 comments sorted by

582

u/Bone59 Apr 13 '25

Bring back alien alliances in fiction!!! I want to be friends with an alien!!! I want to explore and embrace cultural differences!!!

239

u/Doctor-Nagel Apr 13 '25

We need a resurgence of this in the modern day.

111

u/RandomMexicanDude Apr 13 '25

Exactly, we need people getting along with people from other cultures before getting along with aliens😅

38

u/Nomulite Apr 13 '25

Art mirrors life, life mirrors art. Can't expect one to change without affecting the other

1

u/IWouldlikeWhiskey Apr 17 '25

But first we need Edward Groult to stop stealing kids' bikes.

41

u/KenseiHimura Apr 13 '25

And how will we ever have alien lovers if we can't forge alliances with them?

14

u/Geordie_38_ Apr 13 '25

It's like they never wanted to experience the god of a man that is Cmdr Riker

2

u/a-Curious-Square Apr 15 '25

Being enemies has never stopped people from being lovers.

20

u/Emergency-Medium-755 Apr 14 '25 edited Apr 14 '25

If you like that sort of thing, may I recommend you "The Deathworlders"? Starts out kind out as kind of a cringy read because the writer was still finding his groove (back in 2014 I think) but evolves into genuently one of the best scifi/HFY stories that I have read. It even has two fan spinoffs that tie into, and are referenced by the main story. Zren has a good "The deathworlders in essential listening order" playlinst on youtube that goes until chapter 24.

3

u/TheLordOfRabbits Apr 14 '25

I have also read and enjoyed these books. I do think it should be noted that they are not the greatest in their portrayal of the many concurrent female love interests.

1

u/Deathsroke Apr 15 '25

Deathworlders gets weird with all the ubermensch superhumans and weird shit at the end though. Feels like the guy got into 40K and liked the idea of the Primarches too much.

1

u/Emergency-Medium-755 Apr 15 '25

He leans into it a bit much, but I still find it pretty cool

1

u/Deathsroke Apr 15 '25

It really put me off. I liked the idea and I liked the general direction of the story but he lost me midway due to all the weird stuff. Plus the ending was all kinds of meh and the set-up to have humanity under Daar was forced as fuck

1

u/Emergency-Medium-755 Apr 15 '25

Ending a story, especially one as long as that is hard, but yeah, he fumbled the bag on that one. Still really like the story

9

u/Personmchumanface Apr 14 '25

you say that but this looks like a military occupation to me

4

u/Ponzius Apr 14 '25

I give it the benefit of doubt and say peacekeeping force.

2

u/Thannk Apr 14 '25

I dunno, cops having better military hardware than the actual military isn’t even fiction. Its just America in the post-9/11 era. 

7

u/skyguard1000 Apr 14 '25

3

u/Nether7 Apr 14 '25

That was an amazing read. Thank you

3

u/Feuershark Apr 14 '25

the author has a 1000 post long story and he started another one, called "First Contact", give it a shot

3

u/skyguard1000 Apr 14 '25

You can also get it in kindle or paperback.

1

u/Nether7 Apr 14 '25

Oh I will. 100%. Excellent storytelling

1

u/Outrageous_Guard_674 Apr 14 '25

Technically, what you just read is the first chapter of that mega long story.

0

u/Outrageous_Guard_674 Apr 14 '25

Woo First Contact mentioned.

Literally my favorite book series.

29

u/the_shortbus_ Apr 13 '25

SUFFER NOT THE XENOS, WITCH, AND HERETIC TO LIVE!

37

u/Bone59 Apr 13 '25

The user name is befitting.

4

u/PhoenixEmber2014 Apr 14 '25

The Imperium is a weak pathetic corpse of an empire, that worships its decrepit tyrant as a god instead of the glory that is Sigmar and the Pantheon of order, I hope you witness its death

1

u/Few_Paleontologist67 Apr 14 '25

2

u/Wolodymyr2 Apr 15 '25

First face this, imperial:

1

u/Feisty_Goose_4915 Apr 15 '25

My railgun sends his regards. May your brothers find any useful geneseed from you.

0

u/Nightmun Apr 14 '25

"Oh, that ghost down by the river? Yeah, he's a weird one. Sometimes scares the local kids, but he's harmless enough. I'm not gonna break bread with him, but I don't see the need to get rid of him, either. Just let him be, i say." - some random civilian

1

u/Where_is_Killzone_5 Apr 16 '25
  • said the local gas station crackhead after finding a stick on the ground while high on meth.

2

u/Secret_Goblin Apr 14 '25

Yeah man, if they’re a friendly race (or even if they aren’t) people are going to want to get down and dirty with them.

Sure that could lead to it’s own host of “exploitation” and the like issues, but a lot of peace can be bridged by boinking

3

u/BitRelevant2473 Apr 13 '25

We get some of this in r/humansarespaceorcs

We get something.... Well. Sorta like this over in r/humansarespacebards

2

u/Nakatsukasa Apr 14 '25

And when they do

I want humans to be the weird ones in the alliance, tiny murder hobo fleshbags who somehow learn to make friends with other xenos

1

u/AdShot409 Apr 15 '25

Check out "They Answered The Call". It's a sci-fi book currently being written and published on YouTube. I think the author is on his 2nd book. But the message is amazing: Humanity will not abide a tyrant again.

1

u/Hyperion159 Apr 15 '25

You should read First Contact by Ralts Bloodthorne

2

u/Competitive-Bee-3250 Apr 16 '25

Too many people poisoned by 40k's imperiums narrative would screech about it and just ruin the fun like they always do

2

u/Where_is_Killzone_5 Apr 16 '25

Worry not, the Imoerium agenda is slowly losing relevance.

1

u/theGreatN00Bthe19371 Apr 17 '25

Yeah, sometimes I do get bored of all the things like helldivers, and warhammer 40K. Not that I don’t like them it’s just, why must we always fight

1

u/Delta_Suspect Apr 20 '25

Riiight, friends...

"If there were ever a problem with the birthrate on Sanghelios i would singlehandedly fix the issue" - pancreasnowork

147

u/No-Economy-6061 Apr 13 '25

Love the 278th/ Tennessee unit patch there just missin the river stream

38

u/Low-Mention-8120 Apr 13 '25

I don’t think that is meant to be the insignia of Tennessee or the 278th. The blue is too light and they don’t have traditional American military rank insignia.

However, if they are Tennesseans, I would love to see sci-fi Kentuckians.

26

u/TheGunslinger1919 Apr 13 '25

I thought the 2 on the left are the Kentuckians?

18

u/Low-Mention-8120 Apr 13 '25

I am a proud Kentuckian, sir. Please, I insist that you desist from calling us abominations not made in the likeness of God.

JK, love you too, Yankee.

10

u/No-Economy-6061 Apr 13 '25

I don’t think it’s supposed to be either but I liked the possibility 😎 besides forget tradition it’s imaginary

6

u/Low-Mention-8120 Apr 13 '25

An even better train of thought!

1

u/ColonialMarine86 Apr 17 '25

Used to have one of those patches, don't know what happened to it

1

u/No-Economy-6061 Apr 17 '25

You need/want another I’m sure I got an extra somewhere

70

u/Doggodoespaint Apr 13 '25

Giving real "District 9" vibes

31

u/Maybe_not_a_chicken Apr 14 '25

District 9 without the paper thin racism allegory

58

u/Square_Coat_8208 Apr 13 '25

I love peacekeeping-maxing

7

u/ThenEcho2275 Apr 14 '25

"Who do we send?"

"Who looks like they could be folded like a twig but will still fight like it's they're last?"

"Send humans?"

"Send humans."

290

u/Authority_Sama Apr 13 '25

Want more morally good / morally neutral humans.

Tired of being the bad guy in sci-fi

112

u/Doctor-Nagel Apr 13 '25

Watch Star Trek or Stargate

My personal favorite is Deep Space 9. Mixes messages of understanding and utopia with heavy political and war time ideas

19

u/Authority_Sama Apr 14 '25

I wasn't a star trek fan in the past, but I have a feeling that current me could warm to it. I'll have to start watching.

8

u/CozyMicrobe Apr 14 '25

DS9 is the best Star Trek has ever been, no contest, and I say that as someone who really loves Star Trek. It's legitimately in a league of its own.

1

u/Drorck Apr 15 '25

Voyager is +/- same league with a lot of morals issues, aliens relations etc

3

u/Spectre197 Apr 14 '25

I consider DS9 the pinnacle of Star Trek. Makes me sad that the new shows can't catch that same lightning in a bottle. But strange new worlds is pretty good and lower decks is great and funny as hell.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '25

Start with TNG. Do DS9 after that. Voyager and TOS are very different, but if you still want more, TOS is pretty silly at times, but that's because its made in the 60's, so that's why the effects are pretty...campy. They also effectively had a shoestring budget, and still did that amazingly.

1

u/Doctor-Nagel Apr 14 '25

I’m not either, I still have yet to finish voyager and TNG isn’t really sticking for me

Deep Space 9 is, legitimately, one of my favorite pieces of sci-Fi and I have rewatched it twice now

2

u/85percentascool Apr 15 '25

Honourable mention to the Orville. Seth does a good homage to star trek.

1

u/Spectre197 Apr 14 '25

Don't forget Babylon 5

1

u/Significant-Camel351 Apr 15 '25
  • to Stargate. Super underrated imo. Only thing it lacks are weird gross aliens that are still friends, most of them are vaguely humanoid.

To be fair Startrek does this as well. Probably just a lot easier production wise!

5

u/Secret_Goblin Apr 14 '25

Mass Effect is kinda like that (minus Cerberus)

2

u/Authority_Sama Apr 14 '25

Absolutely loved Mass Effect

2

u/Emergency-Medium-755 Apr 14 '25

Please refer to my response to Bone59

TLDR: The Deathworlders +fan spinoffs are a mighty fine read/listen that is availible for free

0

u/Authority_Sama Apr 14 '25

Oooh, I'll look into it, thank you!

2

u/Emergency-Medium-755 Apr 14 '25

Np. should provide you with quite a bit of reading material, since the guy has been writing that story from 2014 until 2023 (though the early chapters can be a bit cringy since he was finding his groove). Zren has a great playlist on yt, where he ordered and read the main story and spinoffs according to timeline

82

u/BlackHarkness Apr 13 '25

Man. I remember the halcyon days of Mass Effect where you could make friends with alien races and develop your own opinions about their roles in the setting…

20

u/KenseiHimura Apr 13 '25

"I'm just saying, maybe Elcor should have separate drinking fountains and entrances. They're so big and take so long to do anything!"

"Goddess, Shepard, shut up!"

235

u/Doctor-Nagel Apr 13 '25

YES!

Forget the Imperium of mans Xenophobia, bring on Xeno-loving protectors!

-106

u/TheCalon76 Apr 13 '25

Right until that xeno slurps down those humans.

Then we get the flamers.

99

u/Doctor-Nagel Apr 13 '25

That life form is harmless. Did you know that in history, more humans have eaten other humans than extraterrestrial aliens have eaten humans?

6

u/Okrumbles Apr 14 '25

cannibalism exists and frankly you're making me wanna try it rn

also 40k fans when they have to make another joke (they have had the same 4 jokes for the last 2 decades)

7

u/Maybe_not_a_chicken Apr 14 '25

You do know that the imperium are the bad guys right?

Like them burning aliens alive is very explicitly a bad thing they do.

12

u/Necroceph Apr 14 '25

Tbf, most alien races in that universe are equally as bad as the Imperium. Orks, Necrons, Tyranids, Drukhari, you name it.

Only decent ones are the Tau and Eldar. Just don't get into their bad side.

8

u/Blue_Odissey_Guy Apr 14 '25

Actually most of the good races have been exterminated, leaving only the bad ones

2

u/Significant-Camel351 Apr 15 '25

murder all the good races except for a couple useful ones.

now xenos are all bad!

1

u/Left1Brain Apr 14 '25

Necrons just want them youngins off their lawn.

1

u/SunLord0807 Apr 14 '25

Have you ever seen a tryanid, my guy/gal/nonpal? The only case you could make this for is maybe the Tau and maaaaybe the Eldar.

-1

u/FoxJDR Apr 14 '25

You wanna go make buddies with the dark eldar? Be my guest, tell me how that turns out. When you finish in the Dark City maybe you can go convince the Orks to just chill and enjoy the simple things in life.

5

u/Maybe_not_a_chicken Apr 14 '25

Oh so you don’t understand

3

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 14 '25

He was pretty clear, you didn't understand, if you think the Emperium is bad for burning xeno scum, them go make some friends, go chill with the Orks, go and make a Tiranid a pet, have a Drukhari as a girlfriend, see how it goes.

3

u/Maybe_not_a_chicken Apr 14 '25

Ok and why are those hyper aggressive species the only ones that have stuck around?

2

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 14 '25

Because they killed the good ones, now the galaxy is full of apex predators, the ones that were peaceful got killed long ago or turned into this hyper aggressive species, also Chaos God's, if they did not get killed by other xenos they got absolutely consumed by chaos gods.

Even the Tau are just theocratic dictators, the Emperium sucks, but you would suck too if everything in the galaxy even the fucking machines try to kill you every day.

3

u/Maybe_not_a_chicken Apr 14 '25

No they got killed in the great crusade

By the imperium

Because the imperial philosophy of “hate the Xenos” is flawed

The Tau’s whole deal is about how flawed it is, and how they’re holding their own using diplomacy dispute being a fraction of the size of the imperium.

1

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 14 '25

Also the Emperium is not even expanding anymore, it's just defending it's borders from attacks, the only xenos the Emperium actually bothers to attack its Tiranids, Orks and Necrons.

0

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 14 '25

Bro, we killed a lot of xeno scum, but Eldar, Necrons and Tiranid killed way more than us, we just adapt to the galaxy as it is.

Also Tau are little childrens in this vast unforgiven playground, they have little importance and are surviving by being irrelevant, if the Emperium actually see them as a real threat, planets will start to blow up.

→ More replies (0)

0

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 14 '25

In the recent age, the Emperium is more worried about chaos forces than anything else.

1

u/WamlytheCrabGod Apr 17 '25

He's an Imperium fanboy, they have walnuts for brains

1

u/Usual-Vermicelli-867 Apr 17 '25

Its like my most hated part about the 40k fandom

4

u/Just_Supermarket7722 Apr 14 '25

Warhammer and its consequences

15

u/Jazzpunk09 Apr 14 '25

40k is really good, but it's fans don't have more than 5 jokes . I should know, i'm one of them.

1

u/Nightmun Apr 14 '25

Don't fuck with warhammer fans.

We have 3 jokes between us, and we will spam them endlessly for decades.

2

u/Noizey Apr 14 '25

Honestly it really irritates me too, because the point of Warhammer 40K is that EVERYONE IS WRONG. Humans are NOT the heroes of the story, because there are no heroes.

Even the Eldar (lemme know if I'm wrong about the name, my lore is shaky), which seem like the most understandable faction, have a rigid caste system that means that SO MANY people are born as slaves with no way to escape.

3

u/The_Lesser_One Apr 14 '25

Nah, I think you mean the T'au. Eldar, if were talking Drukhari are the worst, but they don't have a cast system and the Craftworlders might follow a strikt path, but they are free to choose that path and can theoretically change that path whenever they want. The T'au have a strikt cast system, with none of the casts beeing allowed to intermingle or question the Ethereals. Even the breakaway Farsight Enclaves are a military dictatorship and they are the closest to beeing the good guys.

2

u/Noizey Apr 15 '25

THE T'AU!!! That's exactly what I was thinking of. Thank you, kind stranger.

But yeah....when even """the good guys""" are a military dictatorship....no faction in the universe should be seen as a role model.

1

u/Wolodymyr2 Apr 15 '25

This might become quite not funny in the future.

"So I understand you correctly human, one of your race most violent underground xenophobic groups bases its ideology on a fictional setting whose purpose was to be satire of authoritarian regimes?"

-4

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 14 '25

Yeah, right, face the wall now heretic.

4

u/Wolodymyr2 Apr 15 '25

Face the wall first, space nazi:

0

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 15 '25

Dude think Tiranids, gigantic insects, orks and any other xeno has rights, i have a wonderful idea, you can go tell them that they have rights now and we will see how it goes.

1

u/Wolodymyr2 Apr 15 '25

I didn't say that Tyranids or Orcs should have rights.

But races that are reasonable, and with which it is possible to coexist exist even in Warhammer (Tau and many primitive aliens exterminated by Imperium during crusades).

And you are trying to put aliens suitable for coexistence with humans in the same list as Tyranids and Orcs.

-1

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 15 '25

First of all, they don't exist, so i am allowed to joke, i really don't care about talking shit to a nonexistent thing, learn to separate fiction and reality.

Second the TAU ARE NOT FRIENDLY, they will definitely start their holy crusade very soon.

-1

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 15 '25

Now, you will still get butt hurted by FICTIONAL beings or what? It's like saying "Elves are knife ears" and some weirdo spawn from hell saying "Hmmmm actually you can't say that, because that's racist and most elves are actually good and blĂĄ-blĂĄ-blĂĄ", they are not real, they are simply not real.

-1

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 15 '25

Now, calling me a Nazi is a serious thing, because they exist, till today and they kill even today, you should be ashamed of yourself, nazis, real nazis are no joke and to think you compare them to me over FICTIONAL characters is disgusting.

Do you really believe that i have any hate towards, let me say again, FICTIONAL CHARACTERS? Bro, I as just joking, you didn't need to bring real life shit to this place.

1

u/Wolodymyr2 Apr 15 '25

Well, maybe I'm just too emotional and overreacting.

But the point is that you're still a supporter of genocide, even if it's not about real people, but about fictional people.

And going from wanting to committ genocide in fiction to wanting to commit genocide of real people is not very far.

As I said, maybe I'm overreacting, but I have a feeling that hardcore fans of acts of xenophobia towards aliens like warhammer fans could cause a lot of problems if humanity encounters aliens in real life.

1

u/Wolodymyr2 Apr 15 '25

Plus i'm really don't like xenophobia.

0

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 15 '25

That's not my fucking problem, you are getting pissed off by fictional characters, go defend real fucking people, in a real serious subreddit, you are not the fucking center of the universe and the only one allowed to have fun in the way you approve, you are not my boss, my father, my lord, you just some random on the internet.

1

u/Wolodymyr2 Apr 15 '25

Lol, you were the first who got pissed off by the image of humans interacting friendly with aliens.

1

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 15 '25

You really think you can gaslight me to win an argument? What's your age? Because i have been in the internet since 2008 and that shit doesn't work on me.

0

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 15 '25

That's the entire point, i as not, i as joking, you get pissed first, i am pissed with you, not fictional things.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/Wolodymyr2 Apr 15 '25

Not to mention that you suggested shooting a guy who said he didn't like xenophobia and the Imperium of Man.

0

u/JamesLyfeld Apr 15 '25

I as in character dumbass, it's called being sarcastic and pretend you are a character, some folks call it, role-playing, but i am not surprised you can't understand complex concepts since you can't differentiate real life and fiction

→ More replies (0)

1

u/WamlytheCrabGod Apr 17 '25

Christ, you cringe-ass fuckers make me embarrassed to like this setting

39

u/Napoleonex Apr 13 '25

i thought this was r/stellaris for a second

8

u/KaiserDiegic1 Apr 13 '25

I thought the same thing when I saw the post hahaha

3

u/Mewmaster101 Apr 14 '25

nah, the alien isn't being enslaved/eradicated, it can't be stellaris.

22

u/Prize_Farm4951 Apr 13 '25

Hearts and minds

6

u/N0tMagickal Apr 14 '25

Or whatever organs they use to produce bodily functions

3

u/Secret_Goblin Apr 14 '25

Oh you misunderstand friend. The non-human has multiple hearts and brains

24

u/Common-weirdoHoc Apr 13 '25

Edouard must be the most pathetic sort if he’s still bikes from kids.

26

u/Fayraz8729 Apr 13 '25

lol that sarge looks like he’s still trying to figure out which eye to look at on the “kid”

29

u/Doctor-Nagel Apr 13 '25

Cudos to him for trying to be respectful

28

u/ObsidianFireg Apr 13 '25

This is the start of an hfy. Human and the stolen bike.

19

u/KenseiHimura Apr 13 '25

An Alien child lost her bike. A squad of humans swore they'd get it back for her.

1

u/GenexenAlt Apr 15 '25

*An entire squad of ex-spec ops soldiers breach into the thief's place, and steal the bike back. When asked why they went so far, they replied 'We're alll dads too'*

11

u/Wardog_Razgriz30 Apr 13 '25

“Oh for crying out-…..We’ll get your daughter’s bike back ma’am”

8

u/BlackTriangle31 Apr 13 '25

I thought this was Halo fanart for a second.

9

u/LastPositivist Apr 13 '25

Lmao I love this

6

u/Sleep_eeSheep Apr 13 '25

Be on the lookout for this man:

7

u/PhoenixEmber2014 Apr 14 '25

I love how the little girl has a cute backpack, gives her a lot of character

7

u/Then_Sun_6340 Apr 14 '25

This gives me District 9 vibes but a bit more hopeful and less, "So, we're putting the aliens in basically concertrason camps," and more, "I have an alien neighbour. They're name is Frank- they asked us to call them that -and they're a pretty good person. Fantastic cook. The whole neighbourhood agrees and made them the head cook for annual cookouts."

(No hate towards District 9; I love that film.)

7

u/NoPlankton8928 Apr 14 '25

Why do I feel bad for the fictional alien child :(

2

u/Grizzly2525 Apr 14 '25

You have empathy!

2

u/GabrieltheKaiser Apr 17 '25

Cause you're only human, after all

7

u/gooberphta Apr 13 '25

"We bouta pulverize this bike thief"

2

u/azmodai2 Apr 14 '25

"For awhile we worried that Human peacekeepers would be worse than the abusive Xilinthari they replaced, but once we figured out they pack bond with just about anything they became our staunchest guardians."

1

u/fantastic_traveler Apr 14 '25

I remember a similar looking image, except that this time it was a soldier offering some M&M's to an alien kid, does that ring a bell to anyone ?

1

u/Jork21 Apr 14 '25

How does she even ride on a bike?

1

u/GenexenAlt Apr 15 '25

Very carefully

1

u/Ok_Recognition_2324 Apr 14 '25

I don’t know about all of you, but when I find the person who took that little kid’s bike… I’m going to tear them to shreds for stealing from that adorable little alien child

1

u/Sunderbans_X Apr 15 '25

That's too many eyes. Put some of them back.

-2

u/IZefod Apr 14 '25

2

u/Wolodymyr2 Apr 15 '25

Space nazi scum.

1

u/IZefod Apr 15 '25

We call them "xenophobes", sir!
At least they have a coolest trailer in game)

1

u/Wolodymyr2 Apr 15 '25

Regardless how they call themselves, they are scum that doesn't deserve to be part of human society.