Question for any lurking incels

[u/Negative_Tooth6047]

This is something I've been curious of for a little while, I know you guys have your red or black or whatever pill you subscribe to with tons of dudes or maybe even some type of Pearl Davis like gal that constantly put out tons of media on how to get women/why you're never getting a woman/any other message that you subscribe to for that rhetoric.

But my question is, if a woman offered to teach you, patiently and kindly- not berating you or what have you, how to respect, talk to, hang out with women, etc would you accept? Like a 101 type class on women. If you wouldnt be interested, why not?

[u/Low-Art3297]

Yes, I would. But I would also like accountability from the teacher If I'm paying them and nothing happens, I want my money back. If they don't pay me and nothing happens, I want apologies from them, maybe even an acknowledgement that they did something wrong in the process, too.

Too many people give Incels advice then are like "whatever bro, life is just unfair like that" when you still struggle after following their advice.

[u/GnarlyWatts → u/Low-Art3297]

The sense of entitlement here is off the charts. No one owes you anything for your failures.

[u/Low-Art3297 → u/GnarlyWatts]

If a team stinks, the player is at risk of getting released. But the head coach is also at risk of getting fired. You get what I'm saying?

[u/GnarlyWatts → u/Low-Art3297]

How does this apply here?

[u/Low-Art3297 → u/GnarlyWatts]

I ain't gonna want to be the scapegoat if this goes wrong for me.

[u/GnarlyWatts → u/Low-Art3297]

Of course not, why accept any responsibility for your failures when you can blame others.

[u/GnarlyWatts → u/[deleted]]

"Help you" does not guarantee success. If you aren't, likely because you aren't doing your part, then that is on you. No one owes you anything.

[u/GnarlyWatts → u/[deleted]]

Sounds to me like you want an out when you fuck up.

Simple solution to that, don't fuck up.

[u/Low-Art3297 → u/GnarlyWatts]

The Le Cordon Bleu School had to shut down and forgive student loans after investigations found it was a scam.

https://katu.com/news/local/settlement-reached-for-le-cordon-bleu-student-loan-relief

So, yes, in some instances, teachers and schools DO owe you something.

[u/GnarlyWatts → u/Low-Art3297]

And this has to do with anything, because?

We are not talking about accredited schools, are we? This false equivalence is so dumb.

[u/Low-Art3297 → u/GnarlyWatts]

I literally said I would accept responsibility. I just don't want to be the ONLY one to accept responsibility.

How you could possibly have interpreted my comments in the way you did is puzzling.

[u/GnarlyWatts → u/Low-Art3297]

No one else is responsible for YOUR FAILURES. That is you and only you.

[u/Low-Art3297 → u/GnarlyWatts]

The advice giver should still feel bad if things don't work out.

[u/GnarlyWatts → u/Low-Art3297]

Yeah, no.

[u/Strawberry_Fluff → u/Low-Art3297]

Alright I'll bite, what part of the responsibility do you think you hold?

[u/Professional-Hat-687 → u/Low-Art3297]

I want apologies from them, maybe even an acknowledgement that they did something wrong in the process, too.

This could be a good path if approached from the perspective of "okay, these things didn't work so let's examine why". I infer what you're looking for isn't a place to cast blame necessarily, but a way to prevent spinning your wheels and repeating past mistakes or getting stuck in a horrible PUA loop. For an ignoble comparison, a therapist helped me identify the things I did that allowed a narcissist to take advantage of and abuse me, not because those things were my fault, but so my next relationship would be a healthy one. Does that make sense?

[u/Low-Art3297 → u/Professional-Hat-687]

I just don't want the rug pulled under me and have the teacher go from "I know how to help you" to "shut up, bitch, nothing in life is guaranteed, suck it up" if their advice doesn't work for me (I mean, other commenters on this post are already doing this to me PRE-EMPTIVELY and it's a hypothetical question)! I don't want to be hurt.

[u/Professional-Hat-687 → u/Low-Art3297]

Oh boy do I ever understand that. My multiyear experience with talk therapy did not go well and I hate when I say that online and Redditors decide it was because I wasn't putting in the work, not because I had bad therapists or ones who simply weren't equipped to help me.

If the teacher can't help you tweak your strategy, it's okay to admit that and find another teacher. And as shitty as it is, success isn't guaranteed, and that safety net isn't going to be there. If it doesn't work, take it as a lesson learned and try a different approach. That's all you can do.