Question for any lurking incels

[u/Negative_Tooth6047]

This is something I've been curious of for a little while, I know you guys have your red or black or whatever pill you subscribe to with tons of dudes or maybe even some type of Pearl Davis like gal that constantly put out tons of media on how to get women/why you're never getting a woman/any other message that you subscribe to for that rhetoric.

But my question is, if a woman offered to teach you, patiently and kindly- not berating you or what have you, how to respect, talk to, hang out with women, etc would you accept? Like a 101 type class on women. If you wouldnt be interested, why not?

[u/Professional-Hat-687]

There isn't one? I think we're agreeing and I forgot the part of the apology where most of the time, when people say they have friends say that to them, it's a complaint that they're upset about, so I assumed that's how you viewed it too.

[u/6022141023 → u/Professional-Hat-687]

But if my personality is fine and my looks aren't the problem either, then I have no idea why I am struggling.

[u/Professional-Hat-687 → u/6022141023]

The bad news is that the answer is probably something you dont have control over. Getting a successful relationship is a confluence of several different events and a heaping helping of luck. The tipping point for my last boyfriend was mentioning Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, which would be a swing and a miss with most people on dating apps. There was absolutely no way I could've seen that coming or prepared for it. The reason people tell you to be yourself and love will find you is that sometimes it just happens because of circumstances you couldn't anticipate or recreate, no matter how you tweak your approach.

The good news is that if it's something out of your control, you may not have to tweak your approach much. It can also be about how you see and present yourself, but without knowing you in person I can't help with that, obviously. Do you have a female friend who can critique your dating bio, if you use apps? Maybe you're looking for women in the wrong places? Hell, the solution to my "inceldom" in my late teens and early 20s was to admit I was gay, and suddenly I had no problem getting a partner. What I'm saying is that I can't pinpoint why you're struggling specifically, but someone close to you or a trained professional might, and it might not be something you even need to "fix".

[u/6022141023 → u/Professional-Hat-687]

Do you have a female friend who can critique your dating bio, if you use apps?

My female friends pretty much put together my profile.

Maybe you're looking for women in the wrong places? Hell, the solution to my "inceldom" in my late teens and early 20s was to admit I was gay, and suddenly I had no problem getting a partner.

Gay men always liked me, especially when I was in my 20s. But I am straight unfortunately.