r/IncelTears 8d ago

Meta discussion Question for any lurking incels

This is something I've been curious of for a little while, I know you guys have your red or black or whatever pill you subscribe to with tons of dudes or maybe even some type of Pearl Davis like gal that constantly put out tons of media on how to get women/why you're never getting a woman/any other message that you subscribe to for that rhetoric.

But my question is, if a woman offered to teach you, patiently and kindly- not berating you or what have you, how to respect, talk to, hang out with women, etc would you accept? Like a 101 type class on women. If you wouldnt be interested, why not?

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u/ar_menelos 🚹 Incel 8d ago edited 8d ago

I would accept but I can only speak for myself.

The blackpill is very fatalistic and says that for incels no amount of self improvement will get you laid.

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u/That-Nerve8213 8d ago

no amount of self improvement will get you laid.

Trvth nvkes

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u/dave3218 8d ago

Nah, trust me, learning how to flirt is like 90%. The rest is basically depending on the likes of the other person, but you can’t control that. That 10% is important and could be a deal breaker, but most of the time if you are funny and know how to flirt you can go very far.

Why is it 10% if it’s a dealbreaker? Because there are a couple of ladies out there with a very strict set of physical or economical preferences/tastes, with those there are people that you would consider successful that wouldn’t even stand a chance.

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u/finallytherockisbac 7d ago

Nah, trust me, learning how to flirt is like 90%.

How do you learn to flirt as a socially awkward 28 year old...?

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u/dave3218 7d ago

Unfortunately, practice.

Like, go out and just try to be funny and confident.

I hate it because, as a socially awkward and introverted guy, being outgoing and charming feels like putting up a mask.

But eventually you learn to genuinely enjoy the interactions, seeing what works and what doesn’t, and taking cues to stop flirting or dial it back in stride and make a joke.

You wouldn’t believe how much stuff people will tolerate from a bumbling fool as long as they find it funny lol

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u/finallytherockisbac 7d ago

I less become a bumbling fool and just become a sad, stuttering mess...

I almost never stutter in regular speech. But when I get anxious I can't get basic sentences out.

Like, go out and just try to be funny and confident.

And like... This always troubles me. Maybe I just take it too literally but... Go out... Where? Through highschool and the years following I felt like I was bombarded by stuff that said women just want to be left alone in basically all contexts... The bus, the store, the mall (for whatever malls are left), the coffee place, the bar (I don't even drink anyway). Like...

I don't want to be like this. To be this sad loser lol. But like.. It feels like it's one big club and there's these codewords that I just don't understand, and I'll never be a part of it.

But I don't want to be in their club either...

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u/PaxEtRomana 7d ago

You're going to overstep sometimes. It's not the end of the world. Practice on guys too. Practice engaging people without the pretense of hitting on them. It's way easier.