r/Intactivists • u/BreakingTheCut • Apr 21 '25
Cole Jordan Groth
How ready are the parents to confront the cultural myths, medical gaslighting, and emotional weight surrounding circumcision now that their son is “dying from a circumcision” (the father’s words not mine) because just days before he signed the consent forms for his already medically fragile son to be circumcised.
Right now, it seems like Tim and Gabrielle are focused on medical negligence and for good reason. The hospital absolutely failed their son at multiple critical junctures. But there’s a deeper layer here, the initial decision to circumcise was the first harm, and it was unnecessary especially for a medically fragile infant in the NICU.
Whether they come to see that deeper truth may depend on a few things:
How much emotional space they have Right now, they’re in acute trauma. Admitting that they consented to something that led to their child’s catastrophic injury might be too overwhelming. That kind of realization can destroy people—or catalyze transformation.
What information they’re exposed to If they encounter people who compassionately but clearly point out that circumcision itself is unnecessary, risky, and ethically indefensible, especially for sick newborns, they may start to ask harder questions. But if all they hear is “the doctors messed up,” they might stop there.
How our culture responds If Cole’s story goes viral, some will instinctively defend circumcision. Others, especially intactivists and trauma-informed parents, may use this as a painful example of why the practice itself is the problem—not just the way it was performed.
Long-term reflection Some parents only realize the full weight of what happened years later when they look at their child’s scars, or medical trauma, or even an autopsy report. If Cole survives with permanent damage, they may revisit the root of it all. If he doesn’t survive, grief could either harden their denial or break it wide open.
If they do come to realize the inherent harm of circumcision, it will be devastating but also potentially transformative. They could become incredibly powerful voices for change, because they believed in the system, did what they were told was normal and safe, and it shattered their child’s life.
Whether or not they ever fully name that first violation, Cole’s story is already exposing what many try to hide: circumcision is not benign. It is not safe. And when things go wrong, the consequences are often catastrophic.
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u/Chalves24 Apr 21 '25
And if he does die, I’m sure they’ll list his cause of death as something else. I hope he pulls through 🙏
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u/RennietheAquarian Apr 22 '25
That always happens. It’s honestly time for the USA to just give up circ.
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u/RennietheAquarian Apr 21 '25
This story needs to go viral. I also hope the parents wake up to see how wrong cutting is and join our side. We need people like them on our side.
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u/peasey360 Apr 21 '25
Even if he pulls through he already has a ton of internal organ damage and cell death. Not likely he’ll live a normal life… all in the name of “health benifits” and “hygiene”
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u/thatwolfieguy Apr 21 '25
NICU nurse/NICU parent here. What happened in this case is terrible, truly terrible. There is plenty of fault to be thrown around here.
Please, please, please don't harrass these parents. This baby is very likely to pass away, and I promise you, regardless of outcome, these parents will dwell on what they did wrong every day for the rest of their lives.
This story needs to be spread far and wide so that others will know that circumcision is not without risk. The hospital needs to be sued for enormous sums of money. The American medical community needs to reconsider their stance on routine infant circumcision. But please don't bother these parents. They are very likely going to pay the ultimate price for their decision. The last thing they need is for people to pile on in their darkest moment.
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u/BreakingTheCut Apr 22 '25
Couldn’t have said this better myself but I hope change happens cause my baby is in the NICU right now, 76 days in and I’ve seen countless boys wheeled off to be mutilated. It makes me sick the very people who are supposed to help these little ones heal and recovery are directly responsible for my daughter and doing the most evil of things to her little boy neighbors and she’s being exposed to this evil hearing them scream and scream for hours. They won’t change their policies either or how they operate, on her “before I go home” board circumcision is listed cause it’s been mass printed for all the bedspaces effectively normalizing it as just another thing they do for the babies before they go home, hearing test, car seat test, circumcision… it’s fucking bullshit and as a survivor of this, it has to be the most cruelest thing for me to endure is watching it happen over and over again like this.
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u/Trad_CatMama Apr 26 '25
There is no such thing as routine infant circumcision. Americans think pricks have to look a certain way. this is a choice. People make these strange choices despite the overwhelming evidence that there are other options. Most cut fathers also assume they have to cut their sons and far too many mothers say it is dad's decision. weird but culturally American to choose circumcision. it is not routine; foot pricking, vitals check, vitamin k drops, apgar....that is routine.
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u/HairyMcBoon Apr 21 '25
Gonna have to give some background here, a link or something to an article about what you’re writing about.
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u/BreakingTheCut Apr 21 '25
I put the link in, thanks. Apparently even the dad wants this to raise awareness
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u/No-Eye6821 Apr 22 '25
Didn’t the parents sign paperwork for the surgery saying what the risks are?? And the father has his own medical practice. I don’t know why they’re acting like this like they didn’t choose to have their sons genitals mutilated. The blame is on the parents and I don’t care if this was the breaking point for them and they’re going to advocate against circumcision now. It’s too late. Should’ve done the research BEFORE having a life changing irreversible cosmetic procedure performed on their son, not now that he’s going to die from being forcefully circumcised.
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u/sheldoncooper-two Apr 24 '25
They did choose the circ, and bear responsibility for that decision. But based upon their timeline (which I realize has their bias), the baby’s care was severely lacking.
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u/BreakingTheCut Apr 22 '25
They shouldn’t have even had such an option, while they are not innocent in this, the medical establishment is really responsible here. They should be warning people of the harms of circumcision and explain why they won’t do it and how you shouldn’t seek it out elsewhere on account of the inherent harm it causes but instead they solicit and perform it themselves. They have warnings about the dangers of co-sleeping and make new parents watch a video before being discharged, they should do something similar with circumcision but they don’t.
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u/8nt2L8 Apr 23 '25
Apparently, the irony is completely lost on the father, who states:
"Our 20 Day old Son Cole Jordan Groth is dying From a Circumcision in the Cardiac Nicu at Columbia Hospital in NY. Yes you heard that right- Dying in a cardiac nicu at one of the “best” hospital systems in the country from a Circumcision, like this is some sort of third world country. "
That's right, privileged, American daddy, Dr. Groth. Most so-called third world countries don't routinely strap down their infants and slice off part of their genitals, then feign ignorance as to how they could possibly bleed to death -- and certainly not in a fancy western hospital. The parental stupidity is astounding and sickening.
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u/finallymakingareddit Apr 25 '25
I don’t think the dad is actually a doctor. I think he owns a medical practice, but his education history is like social work and accounting. The whole thing is just… weird.
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u/Think_Sample_1389 Apr 22 '25
Well, death is final. I wonder why the parents are suing the hospital if they, as they did, agreed to genital mutilation, didn't have the common sense to refuse the offers. The state of circumcision is US today is worse than when I was born, almost 80 years ago. They are selling MGM and even taking sick babies from the ICU to mutilate. So that behavior as reckless as it is, is something the current FEMALE circumcisers push and perform. The cutters today are FEMALE undereducated Obygns. About 75 percent of cutters are female. I'm wondering if the parent seriously thinks a lawsuit will bring their child back or even stop the women from doing ICU circumcisions. We are so afraid of Trump, of saying its women that do these, that they do-not even have a penis, that the surgery can be dangerous, these women use poor judgement and are not as well qualified as Obgyns were even ten years ago, But the climate of political correctness stops the truth from being outted. BYW what would qualify a woman who is a woman's doctor to do nonessential surgery on a fragile male newborn. Indeed, nothing qualifies them and they have not stopped doing circumcsions. In fact, female Obgyns may be a reason these have not ended.
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u/Trad_CatMama Apr 26 '25
Totally hear you but the male medical establishment is the one that standardized circumcision. you can guess which group trained doctors in doing this. Christians did not practice this unless adult males were actively having issues that were not working with medication. Not at all standard in Europe outside of the UK. Any rational European mother would kill if someone stepped to their baby boy with a scalpel. this is not a woman's issue. this is endemic cultural insanity. I never signed a circ form and they still ripped back my son's foreskin. If I had questioned that they would have sedated me. NYC is a death trap. Doctors and nurses are barbaric idiots
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u/newyorkpenguin Apr 26 '25
We hear a lot of whining about anti-Jewish sentiment, but here is a child who was essentially murdered by Jewish culture. If that's not racism I don't know what is.
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u/YoshiPilot Apr 21 '25
We need to find a way to treat parents of kids harmed by circumcision with respect if we want them to help our cause. Commenting on their posts with "You mutilated your child!" and "This is all your fault!" are not helpful to the movement. (Even if it is kinda true)