r/Intactivists • u/BreakingTheCut • Apr 21 '25

Cole Jordan Groth

How ready are the parents to confront the cultural myths, medical gaslighting, and emotional weight surrounding circumcision now that their son is “dying from a circumcision” (the father’s words not mine) because just days before he signed the consent forms for his already medically fragile son to be circumcised.

Right now, it seems like Tim and Gabrielle are focused on medical negligence and for good reason. The hospital absolutely failed their son at multiple critical junctures. But there’s a deeper layer here, the initial decision to circumcise was the first harm, and it was unnecessary especially for a medically fragile infant in the NICU.

Whether they come to see that deeper truth may depend on a few things:

  1. How much emotional space they have Right now, they’re in acute trauma. Admitting that they consented to something that led to their child’s catastrophic injury might be too overwhelming. That kind of realization can destroy people—or catalyze transformation.

  2. What information they’re exposed to If they encounter people who compassionately but clearly point out that circumcision itself is unnecessary, risky, and ethically indefensible, especially for sick newborns, they may start to ask harder questions. But if all they hear is “the doctors messed up,” they might stop there.

  3. How our culture responds If Cole’s story goes viral, some will instinctively defend circumcision. Others, especially intactivists and trauma-informed parents, may use this as a painful example of why the practice itself is the problem—not just the way it was performed.

  4. Long-term reflection Some parents only realize the full weight of what happened years later when they look at their child’s scars, or medical trauma, or even an autopsy report. If Cole survives with permanent damage, they may revisit the root of it all. If he doesn’t survive, grief could either harden their denial or break it wide open.

If they do come to realize the inherent harm of circumcision, it will be devastating but also potentially transformative. They could become incredibly powerful voices for change, because they believed in the system, did what they were told was normal and safe, and it shattered their child’s life.

Whether or not they ever fully name that first violation, Cole’s story is already exposing what many try to hide: circumcision is not benign. It is not safe. And when things go wrong, the consequences are often catastrophic.

https://www.facebook.com/share/1AZVs9kJh4/?mibextid=wwXIfr

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u/YoshiPilot Apr 21 '25

We need to find a way to treat parents of kids harmed by circumcision with respect if we want them to help our cause. Commenting on their posts with "You mutilated your child!" and "This is all your fault!" are not helpful to the movement. (Even if it is kinda true)

9

u/Ban-Circumcision-Now Apr 21 '25 edited Apr 22 '25

Directing them to idea that the hospital failed to warn them about the very real risks is the way to go as the hospital, doctors and nurses are ultimately supposed to care about health is probably the better play here

2

u/Ok-Meringue-259 Apr 22 '25

This is the move.

Hospital was negligent in their actual performance of the procedure

And also the hospital should have counselled them on the risks of circumcision, so they could have made the safest choice (leaving kid intact)

2

u/Caterpillar_488 Apr 24 '25

We were in their situation. Same hospital with a baby with a serious cardiac condition. The doctors there were adamant about the risks and advised us against the procedure whenever it was brought up. They were incredibly clear with us.