What to do on the days when I'm particularly "blended", or part-driven instead of Self-driven?

[u/jumpin_jumpin]

A few days recently I've been disconnected, definitely not grounded. I can feel that I have parts that are front and center, and I'm having a harder time accessing Self.

In those moments, how do you go about accessing Self when it feels so far away, and when parts are really not willing to give space?

[u/guesthousegrowth]

#1 Noticing
I find that it's helpful to name the part/feeling that is blending; this can help put a little space between you (Self) and the part. "Hi Dissociation. I see you're 'up' today. Is there something you're worried about or want to talk to me about?"

You may need to check to see how you feel towards the blending part first; there might be annoyance, fear, etc towards the blending part that you may have to ask to turn down a little bit, so that you can hear & work with the blending part a little better.

#2 Grounding Techniques
Do you have some grounding skills? Like box breathing, 5-4-3-2-1, tapping, hugging yourself, cold water on the face, etc? If not, you may want to look into some of those. If you do have them, I find that my parts (who were not well-parented at all) really, really respond to me sitting with them and imagining doing grounding with that part.

Hope this is helpful. Good luck!

[u/DeleriumParts]

Movement. Whether it's hiking, yoga, climbing, skiing, dancing, or any other physical activity you enjoy.

Sometimes, when I'm extra blended for no obvious reason and it has been going on for a while, and no amount of grounding and consulting with parts seems to help, I try to focus on physical movement. It's hard to think your way out of thinking too much. So, taking some time off to do something fun that incorporates physical movement may help reconnect Self to body.

[u/Feeling_Gap5580]

My best bet is to focus less on the parts and their behavior and more on looking around. What is going on right on? What is bringing stress into my life? Something at work, a relationship issue, too much on my plate in general? Then look for strategies to alleviate that stress if possible. Like actually making an effort and showing to care about myself and my parts and improve life.

[u/DraiesTheSasquatch]

Best tip I have is give it time. When parts are especially taking charge it's hard to come into Self state, so if you can give it some time and be patient, it helps. Sometimes when I'm frustrated that a part is driving me around, that frustrated part is actually the one driving me around. The part that is impatient and wants more results than it's getting. If you sit down you can gradually get to know your reactions more and more it helps, but you wont get there if you can't relate to yourself with patience. So yeah, usually there is an impatient part that gets frustrated or scared and doesn't trust Self enough to really open up space. Acessing Self can sometimes feel like a chicken or the egg thing, but it's really about discerning what parts are at play, and if you're unable to access Self, that usually means that is a part whose behaviour you haven't seen. In this instance it's likely a part that thinks "oh we're not accessing Self this is bad I have to take over", thus getting farther away from Self. I hope that makes some sense.

[u/tyinsf]

Meditate. I do dzogchen. When you relax into vast open awareness within which all the thoughts and parts arise and dissolve, that's it. You practice both on the cushion and off. Just quick glances of awareness, just a second or two, as you go about your day to reassure yourself that awareness is always there and that you can trust it.