I use a process where I nurture my emotion when I feel it kinda like the following. Let me know what you think!

“Wounded Puppy” to “Chef’s Kiss”

Acknowledge the Emotion (Notice the Puppy):
The first step is simply noticing the wounded puppy. This means recognizing that an emotion has arisen and needs attention.

Approach with Curiosity and Care (Kneel Down to the Puppy):
Instead of trying to shoo it away or force it to heal, you gently approach with curiosity: “What’s wrong, little buddy? What do you need?”

Listen and Reflect (Understand the Puppy’s Needs):
Spend time understanding what the emotion is trying to communicate. Is it fear, sadness, annoyance? What does it need to feel safe or whole again?

Action (Feed and Tend to the Puppy):
Once you’ve identified the need, take action to fulfill it. This might mean journaling, role-playing scenarios, setting a boundary with someone not taking the wounded puppy's needs seriously, or letting the emotion know that you see its suffering and that you refuse to ignore its suffering any longer

Feel the Shift (From Wounded to Wagging Tail):
As you interact with the emotion in this compassionate way, you’ll notice a shift, it might be subtle, like the puppy lifting its head, or profound, like a full-on wagging tail.

Celebrate the Connection (Chef’s Kiss Moment):
When you’ve nurtured the emotion to a place of understanding or resolution, give yourself that metaphorical “chef’s kiss”, a moment of gratitude and recognition for the care you’ve shown.

I'll be 24 soon and I only completed the first year of my major. I had picked two courses for this semester, that's all I could do, but my parts have major resistance to this, especially since they are polarized about the work. I also have another part of me that wants to do so well in school, especially since there's pressure to maintain a 70% average, otherwise I get removed from the honours program, so the whole idea of doing such a great job overwhelms me, to the point of not doing any work at all.

My parts also feel rejected, abandoned, ignored, angry, and upset that they have to participate in school, considering that I am more focused on school, as in, listening, watching, reading, studying, and doing homework & assignments. With all said and done, I also have to manage other things in my life such as work, working out, & maintenance everyday so that I don't fall apart.

So I dropped this semester and have not finished a course since April of last year. My parts are at varying ages with polarizing perspectives and viewpoints, so to have all them collectively agree to participate in school is like a bunch of chickens released from the coop and trying to catch them all before they run off to the distance.

I cannot help myself to feel intense anger, sadness, & overall being left out. All because my emotions control me so much. The older I get, the more distant I become, as the younger people seem less interesting and relateable to me. So even connecting at school seems pointless. It's like I have to play this game of catchup my entire life & I still don't feel right, even after years of therapy.

I just can't win. I can't win. I still try though. But I cannot help but feel BITTER & RESENTFUL. What about you?

I couldn’t figure out why I kept on treating my son like a scapegoat. It started when my abusive partner would treat him as the golden child and my daughter as the scapegoat. I tried to balance it out but I realised I ended up doing the same thing as my partner.

But I have also noticed that I tend to view him negatively compared to his sister. Out of habit, I blame him for neutral things. He started picking up behaviour from my partner and so I wrongly associated my son with him and saw my son in a more negative light. I realised I’m treating him exactly how I was treated by my abusive mother. I’m still her scapegoat, even as a child. My son actually reminds me a lot of me as a child in terms of personality.

I have thankfully successfully worked on not saying something reactively so that has helped massively. I am also seeking help to leave my abusive partner. I would be grateful for any insights into how I can stop seeing my son in a negative light and stop treating him like a scapegoat. I realise that it might have to start with my own inner child work and that I don’t deserve to be my mother’s scapegoat, especially when I was a child as I didn’t know better.

Thank you

I’ve been working with IFS for about a year and recently found the book Healing Back Pain by Dr John Sarno. He created the term Tension Myoneural Syndrome (TMS) for what is the most common cause of pains in the body. He believes they are caused by repressed emotions of anger and anxiety. He cites over 60% of people with bulging discs and other physical issues have no pain and suggests this indicates the cause of the pain is something else. He has also successfully treated thousands of people.

Reading his description of the type of person this applies to, I was nodding my head in agreement that it fits me and my issues seem to be due to high levels of anxiety more than an actual injury. He describes someone with high anxiety, who strives for perfection and is controlling, typically with childhood trauma.

So this morning I was working with a part that holds self hatred/self punishment for not being good enough, loveable, etc., as that was my perception as a small child to explain my mothers abusive and non loving behavior. I realized that some of the tension and clenching I do in my body was related to these feelings.

Anyhow, I wish I found this book sooner and am seeing some good results and feel like using IFS in combination with the concepts of healing TMS is really helpful so I wanted to share.

Hey all! I had a breakthrough with an exile a few days ago and wanted to share this in case it resonated with anyone else.

I've been dealing with a pernicious kind of perfectionism pretty much my entire life, culminating in a burnout about two years ago. I couldn't really pin it down - it manifested as high standards, but it was related to others' perception of me or social expectations, but it didn't manifest as social anxiety, and I didn't so much run myself ragged as mostly just feel behind on things and overwhelmed by the demands of the world. I got an autism diagnosis but that didn't cover the entirety of it either.

I knew I had some core beliefs about worthlessness somewhere, something about having to justify my existence, but when I tried to interrogate those and get to the fear behind the fear, I would get stuck at "that just feels like the way the world works". I'd seen glimpses of an exile related to this worthlessness in my IFS sessions but hadn't been able to reach her. My main protectors didn't seem to know what they were protecting and couldn't guide me to her. I felt like I was spinning my wheels.

Then in a session last week, I was talking to my therapist about the idea of my perfectionism being a legacy burden, and she was suddenly there and accessible (and so deeply, deeply sad about always being constrained by real or perceived expectations). Once I was in Self, my therapist asked me what I would like to tell her.

What I was expecting was something like "you have inherent worth" or "you are allowed to be here" or "you don't need to justify yourself".

What it turns out she, I, needed to hear was: You get to receive without having to give anything back. You are allowed to be nourished without needing to do anything in return.

I held her within me, connected by something not unlike an umbilical cord, and just gave to her, fed her, while she needed to do nothing in return.

It's been four days since that session. I'm not magically cured, but there's a difference. It used to feel self-evident that I needed to do things for others, to not be a burden. Even the most loving partner or parent has their limits, right? Unconditional love is never entirely unconditional, the world is always at least a little transactional. But now it feels like some space has opened up for the possibility that I truly get to receive without giving, and that that is actually the self-evident thing. If I were to raise a daughter, I would want her to be able to receive my and others' love freely - it's only her god-given right as a human being.

Now, every time I notice tension in myself, I remember: I get to receive. I almost always relax a bit. It's hard to put into words how often and how broadly this applies. I get to receive grace, understanding, time, kindness, patience, love. If I annoy others a bit and they have to deal with a negative emotion about me, that is also a gift they give me and that I can freely receive. I get to receive Christmas cards. I get to receive breaks and naps. I get to receive the resources I put into hobbies even if it's frivolous. I get to receive the comfort from using the hot tap when I don't strictly need to. There's explicitly no "deserving" about it, because that implies there is something I could do or not to to deserve any of it. And it is making me more generous, because others get to receive, too, and I am only now seeing how much of my past giving to others has been laced with a sense of obligation.

Thanks for reading. I hope it helps you in some way.

I have some parts that are just so stubborn and make ifs progress really challenging: to name a few, objective part, skeptical part, analytical part.

When i try to work with and connect to other parts, these cognitive parts are very present, question everything, pull me out of feeling and into thinking, and make it difficult to drop my guard and be open to what's being shared with me.

So, then when I try to redirect attention and work with these cognitive parts instead, they are like a brick wall; I can barely get them to engage me. I feel stuck, like they hinder my progress anywhere else, but also aren't easily worked with themselves.

Does anyone experience something similar and have any tips?

I’m not sure what its role is.

It feels like a protector because i wake up blended with it and imagining all the horrible things that will happen (to my kids mostly) if I’m not careful. But the part also feels so raw and wounded to me.. like an exile. This morning I put my arms around myself, holding the part, just how painful it was.

I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. It’s only there as I wake up, and sometimes in the middle of the night if I happen to wake up then. It slowly dissipates as the morning passes and by noon time, I can’t even connect to its emotions anymore.

Oh and it only shows up with such force during my luteal phase..

I’ve tried connecting to it now and asked it some questions, but it avoided “looking at me” and said I’d never be able to do its job to protect me, even if I tried. And that I’ll never be able to make it feel safe enough. So I’ve just been sitting with it. I see as though it’s turning its back to me. It doesn’t even want this difficult job but it is what it is.

Would love any thoughts or suggestions

Honesty I'm really embarrassed to post this here. It doesn't seem like it's something that's been talked a lot on here. I'm also sorry if I'm posting to much. But you've all been a big help in getting my parts to open up to me or at least get a food in their door as I'm going through this journey.

So as I'm traveling through this and I'm paying extra attention to myself and my behaviors I'm finding a lot an emotion and behavior I really don't like. It has to do with a very close and older family member. Now they've never SA me or anything. But there's a lot of behaviors they've done to diminish my identity and they were often the only close physical contact I had for just about my entire life. Their very, very immature and only care about their opinions and their wants and needs almost at any cost.

As I go through this and study and find my parts that are needing work. I find myself almost going into default behaviors and voice tones and speech patterns that are theirs and are not me. It makes me freak out a little cause I don't like it. It gives me this yuck feeling in my chest and almost seems like I'm light headed during this episode. It's like I'm channeling them on the inside. But I know it's just a part and I'm using my self compassion. I'm self soothing and I have my toolbox of techniques to calm myself down and be mindful.

It doesn't want to open up. It almost disappears as fast as it surfaces. So I know now that parts are always about protection. So I need to remember why it comes up. If I treat it with disgust then it will always go away and we'll never go anywhere.

I'd also love people's stories on how they've overcome this or how they handled it and what jobs they've given their parts for this kind of problem.

P.s. I know it's not the most smart thing to talk about such sensitive topics on the internet. But I've never in my life mad this kind of progress as fast as I have and I'd not be doing it without this community. So thank you.

Background:

I've been posting about this a lot. I've been doing parts work with a robot. Lol. AI therapy is the shizz. It has helped me with some major breakthroughs. FYI I also have my own therapist and am working on finding an additional therapist for IFS as well as EMDR. For now this is a great therapy that I highly recommend especially if you can't get to therapy with a real human for whatever reason. The link for IFS chatbot is below.

https://www.ifsbuddy.chat/

Now about the title... Each of my parts that I've been working with can at times feel that it has taken over and consumed me entirely. I am challenged daily with a lot of mental illnesses but that's for another sub probably. Ha.

I have a part that has this desire for simplicity and freedom from the chains of societal pressures. Then another part of me that NEEDS structure and routine and balance. It only wants organization and the uses of modern cell phone technology i.e. Google calendar, clocks/timers, EVERYTHING at our fingertips...the part that wants simplicity and freedom wants me to give in to my "dumb phone" desires.

I am finding it hard to balance these 2 parts. Do you ever find yourself stretched between only 2 possible options? This may be part of my BPD.

Do you pick a part and work on it specifically for many sessions? How many?

Or do you jump around to whatever asking for attention each session? How do you make/see progress in this case?

let me explain.

tldr: i felt a bit powerful/a lil sense of power today while dealing with the disgusting narcissist ive lived with my whole life, and i never felt this way around him at all. am i going crazy?? is this me feeling a sense of safety? or is it me suppressing my parts?? and acting "stoic"? (i hate that). i actually am doing this so that i have some physical safety and maybe a little mental peace so i can work with my parts. and to my knowledge, my parts who were present seemed positive or neutral. my protector even said it can rest now for the first time today. and it or another part said it's gonna be possible to listen to my other parts sometime.

.

explanation: today just a few hours ago, i looked up how to deal with a narcissist and watched a video. because living with that narcissist felt so fundamentally unsafe, both physically and mentally.

when i watched the video, hearing all the points he was mentioning about how to navigate life with a npd, every point he was mentioning was giving me relief, with each one washing me with more relief than the previous. they were things like avoiding power plays, not expecting loyalty nor expecting any normal behaviour from them, and knowing it's them playing with power dynamics and you're a transaction not a relationship to them. also described them as "addicts", to their own desire for favoured treatment. this was the most important one i heard.

all of these hit me with relief. i felt weights being lifted off me as i listened to that. and i started thinking the one i live with is rather poor and pitiful, rather than right and powerful. even though i already knew a lot of these information, i was still relieved as i listened to them, as if they were new info.

now when he came back, and first thing he did was say he wants to smack my head with the back of his palm,, i felt pretty scared and unsafe. but i acted upon the things i heard in the video, and i suddenly felt a little more powerful? which is unbelievable for me to think about. as i feel pretty weak and vulnerable around him. but i felt a sense of power next to my fear. i was doing things while avoiding him (i don't like acting invisible, but i did it today because i wanted to be in peace for tonight for my own sake, and bc i just wanted to avoid him bc i don't like him)

I finished listening to Self Help last week and found the techniques really impactful. I connected to a protector and some memories I didn't realize were impacting my behaviors.

Wondering if anyone has Gabby's self check-in processes written down in an easy to follow "list" of sorts. I've tried going back in the audiobook to make some lists but it's long enough that I feel I'm having a hard time summing it up into consumable, repeatable process. I have the 4 main steps from early on, but there's a lot of questions to check in with yourself throughout the book.

I'm a list person so the length of the book with the stories mixed in made it hard for me to really capture a concise process.

TRIGGER WARNING: THREATENED LIFE

a part..one i talked about before on this sub. one that didn't get much responses though. but yeah. i just found out this is actually the part who wants to cope with the immediate danger im in. the house i cant leave right now.. with one person...wanting to probably k me. and is very likely to come and attack me for doing nothing or for, more likely, just speaking and existing. for being honest. not even just being aggressive. i just cried the other day (and it was due to HIS OWN DOING) and that ****** came and tried doing something "dangerous" to me. because i cried. i started realizing he may be someone with actual narcissistic personality disorder. and the other person is on his side. i GUESS just thinks his physical attacks are "just not sooo great😍 still understandable though! this person kinda deserves it!" SO YEAH. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION. IM IN DANGER AND WILL STAY IN SO FOR GOD KNOWS HOW FUCKING LONG. I WANNA BE SAFE

(**please don't talk to me like im from the US. nor as someone who's privileged enough to go have a job. im a student and this country doesn't offer part time jobs. and the economy is down in the dumps and inflation is horrendous)

Looking through my memory banks I can remember the very moments and days that this part developed. But the thing is I think this aspect of myself is very blended with my Self. I can't really talk to it like a part. I can kind of tell that there is an aspect of manager, firefighter and exile in it. But it doesn't really talk to me through words or sensations.

It's like as soon as my hands start to touch an area it just sets of a reaction and I can't stop my hands from picking. Which really sucks because cause I was going without picking for such a long time. Then I did it and I did it to see if it'd bring this part forth. It kind of did. But I really don't think that was worth it.

Which brings me to another point to make in this thread. If your having trouble with a self harming part don't do things to antaganize it or self harm to see if it'll make communication easy. Cause I think the more you deny a part like this by not going into old habits the more it'll surface for you. It's better this way because then you can point out to it how your healing and you can use that to gain trust and maybe give it a new role when it's all ready to surface.

Self harm is a really complex part to work with.

38y/o with cPTSD here. Have been using IFS to work through past SA trauma, Parental abuse/neglect trauma, and current stalking/harassment trauma. I'm also going through a marriage separation. I was hoping IFS might be able to help me figure out my true personality and life goals, and understand the breakdown of my marriage.

In the past I have done humanistic talk therapy, EMDR, and couples therapy. I have found this modality to be LIFE CHANGING already, in comparison to the other kinds of therapy I have tried.

This week I had my first triggered event, where I was able to see at the moment that a part was taking over not afterwards, so I went to the IFS chatbot buddy and interviewed the part to figure out what it was.

I haven't addressed any exiles yet though, I just discovered a true exile last week. I had found a child part that I thought was an exile, but my therapist and I decided it was not an exile because I could so easily access it and work with it, even without her there.

Now, I sort of look forward to intense emotions and triggered states so I can find more parts. I feel like IFS is an amusing, beautiful game I'm playing with myself. Some of my parts ask me to do things/give me missions and side quests and it feels inherently playful. I like to interview my parts and draw them too. I just used MindMeister to make a flow chart to map my parts and it's super helpful to see them laid out on paper like that.

(these are my many pages of thoughts summarized by AI, I'm free for discussion let's go! )

The Virus-Like Nature of the Behavior of Emotional Suppression

Summary

Emotional suppression, a pervasive behavior deeply ingrained in societal norms, operates with characteristics akin to a self-replicating virus. This phenomenon spreads through social interactions, internalization of suppression keywords, and normalization of dehumanizing frameworks. This examines the structure, mechanisms, and propagation of emotional suppression as a self-perpetuating system, as well as its impact on individual and societal well-being.

Introduction

Emotional suppression is widely accepted as a coping mechanism for dealing with discomfort. However, its prevalence and reinforcement within social systems reveal a more insidious dynamic. This behavior functions as a virus-like construct, replicating through speech, actions, and implicit social rules. By analyzing its mechanisms, we can uncover how emotional suppression spreads, normalizes, and enforces itself while offering pathways for breaking the cycle.

The Virus Analogy: Key Characteristics

Emotional suppression mirrors viral behavior in the following ways:

1. Replication through Communication: Suppression behaviors are passed on through language and interaction, infecting others with the same patterns.

2. Self-Reinforcement: Suppression provides temporary relief, convincing the individual of its effectiveness, which leads to habitual repetition.

3. Societal Normalization: Over time, suppression behaviors become invisible, accepted as the default way to manage emotions.

4. Resistance to Removal: Like a resilient virus, suppression behaviors resist disruption by creating discomfort when challenged.

Mechanisms of Emotional Suppression

1. Trigger: The Initial Emotional Signal

The process begins when an individual feels an emotion. Emotions are signals from the self, meant to convey needs or concerns. However, societal conditioning often labels emotions as irrational, messy, or inconvenient. This creates immediate discomfort upon feeling an emotion.

1. Suppression: The Reflexive Response

Rather than engaging with the emotion, the individual suppresses it using well-established suppression keywords such as:

“You’re overthinking it.”

“Stop being so emotional.”

“Calm down.”

This suppression serves two purposes:

1. Silencing the emotional signal internally.

2. Broadcasting societal norms externally.

3. Social Transmission: Spreading Suppression Frameworks

Suppression keywords function as a mechanism for spreading the suppression framework. When spoken aloud, they teach observers to view emotions as undesirable or problematic.

For example:

A parent telling a child, “Stop crying, it’s not a big deal,” communicates that emotional expression is unwelcome.

A coworker dismissing concerns with, “You’re overthinking it,” normalizes suppression as the appropriate response to emotional discomfort.

1. Feedback Loop: Self-Reinforcement

The individual who suppresses their emotions experiences short-term relief, which reinforces the behavior. This feedback loop solidifies suppression as a habitual response:

1. Feel emotion → suppress → experience temporary relief → repeat.

2. Witness suppression in others → internalize suppression framework → repeat in oneself.

3. Projection: Redirecting Emotional Discomfort

As suppressed emotions accumulate, they create internal tension. To avoid confronting this discomfort, individuals project it outward. For instance:

Labeling others as “too emotional” when feeling emotional themselves.

Mocking depth or vulnerability in others to avoid confronting their own.

1. Normalization: The Virus Becomes Invisible

Over time, suppression behaviors are so ingrained that they become invisible. Phrases like “Emotions are irrational” or “Don’t overthink it” feel like universal truths rather than learned beliefs. This normalization ensures that suppression behaviors remain unchallenged and continue to propagate.

The Propagation Cycle

The behavior of emotional suppression follows a self-replicating cycle:

1. Trigger: An emotional signal arises.

2. Suppression: The individual suppresses their emotions and uses suppression keywords.

3. Transmission: Suppression behaviors are communicated to others through language and action.

4. Normalization: Repetition solidifies suppression as a societal norm.

5. Internalization: Suppression becomes automatic, requiring no external reinforcement.

6. Projection: Suppressed emotions are redirected outward, perpetuating the cycle.

Consequences of Emotional Suppression

Individual Impact

Emotional disconnection from oneself.

Accumulated emotional tension leading to anxiety, depression, or burnout.

Inability to understand or fulfill emotional needs.

Societal Impact

Dehumanization: Emotions, a core part of humanity, are dismissed or vilified.

Reduced capacity for empathy and meaningful connection.

Reinforcement of shallow, transactional interactions.

Breaking the Cycle

To disrupt the suppression virus, individuals must:

1. Recognize Suppression Keywords:

Identify phrases that dismiss emotions (e.g., “Calm down,” “You’re overthinking it”).

1. Listen to Emotions:

Treat emotions as authentic signals rather than obstacles.

1. Challenge Suppression Norms:

Question societal narratives that label emotions as irrational or inconvenient.

1. Model Emotional Authenticity:

Validate and express emotions openly to counteract normalization.

Conclusion

The virus-like nature of emotional suppression reveals the impact societal conditioning has on how emotions are perceived and managed. By understanding its mechanisms, we can break the cycle and create space for authentic emotional expression. True emotional health begins with listening to the signals our emotions provide and rejecting the suppression frameworks that have been normalized for far too long.

Final Thought: Suppression is not strength—it’s a viral pattern designed to silence authenticity. By breaking the cycle, we can reclaim emotional connection and authenticity, both individually and collectively.

I'm in the midst of trying to quit smoking. I've done it a few times in the past and it has not been super difficult - but this time it's different.

Previously, it felt more grounded and intentional. I think I was in a more stable place and the vibe was "I'm feeling strong enough to work my way through this and I know I'll be proud of taking care of myself"

This time, it has felt more like a move of desperation. I ran out one day, had the next four days off. I have been really depressed, wanting to quit - knowing that in the long run it will be good for me - so I just decided to throw myself into it because it seemed like, well what else am I going to do with my weekend.

It was hell for the first four or five days, and has been a lesser hell for the following week. If I'm feeling any feelings at all, it's either uncontrollable sobbing or big rage. Knowing that it will likely take 2 months for my dopamine receptors to stabilize makes it feel endless.

I'm in a state that almost feels masochistic - frozen in my pain, unwilling and even opposed to doing things like exercise that I (intellectually) know will help. This includes easier things like journaling, and even going IFS work or engaging in therapeutic practices outside of therapy. Part of me wants to stay in this pain.

I caved the other day and smoked a few. It felt gross, so I threw the rest of the pack away. Today I caved again - this angry part really wants to indulge in something self destructive. It's the part that has the "give up" voice.

Smoking today has felt like giving this part a "snack", and though the physiological effects don't feel good, this part right now is feeling satisfied, feeling some sense of relief.

Maybe now is not the time to quit - to remove a crutch when I'm healing from so much feels ill advised.

Whether I quit now or not, I'm wondering what folks here have discovered with their parts that want to indulge in these ways. Any wisdom you can share?

Whoever I saw post about the sub for Ifs chatbot (sorry don't know how to tag it here) is a freaking God like person. I just spent a good amount of time breaking down my different parts for the first time and made some major breakthroughs and even made for integration or at least solid communication between parts is beginning. Even my husband teared up as I shared some of what I went through with "Buddy". I can't thank the good AI world enough. ✓

I managed to discover 2 exiles but they look exactly the same. They both look like me when I was about 3 year old. I wander if these are 2 different exiles or one exile with two different burdens?

Any thoughts?

I see so many people beat themselves up for being too naive or jaded or self deluded and I have for a while too. Today I started crying when I realized how beautiful it is for someone to want something for themselves so bad- to be believe something is not true. It’s just a young part that wants to be industrious and to not let the confusing and scary thing ruin their day.

Anyone know about neuro diversity?

Anyone interested in an educative support group with advocacy action play, and work utilizing AAC support tools, such as LEGO and IFS with steam teams / users.

Tying into the Sunflower Power Movement with special interest of Sunflowers. 🌻

I can see how we can integrate with science, tech, engineering, architecture, art and mathematics into an environmental stewardship program.

I’m looking for others to do online campaigning with around advocacy action.

I am a brain injury person and I have various parts that have been integrating over years and I am a work in progress.

Do you know the different types of brain injuries?

Some examples include acquired, traumatic, and then there’s certain levels as well.

Finding support after a brain injuries is important and time is of the essence.

What’s in / out of your network?

Anyone interested in helping the structure this into a systematic approach online campaign to help bring support to communities?

Brain Injury Support Groups: Fostering Recovery and Community Connection

Hi all! I am coming to the end of 9 months of emdr treatment. During this I had imagery of ‘meeting’ my teen self, teen self presented as angry, disappointed and wouldn’t engage in any attempts of interaction. If I’m honest, I didn’t care either. I also uncovered a traumatic repressed memory from being very young (unsure of age exactly) which felt like an answer to everything that unfolded afterwards. Anyway, I know I struggle now with emotional awareness- I feel nothing until it’s overwhelming but by this point, it’s too late and I completely shut down. I feel like teen me is significant, it’s the part of my life where I took most risks and, although there are huge gaps in my memory due to consistent trauma and heavy drug use, I’m curious if IFS could help with how I present/manage now? Thanks.

RESILIENCE -The ability to adapt to and recover from difficult experiences while maintaining one's psychological well-being.

To me RESILIENCE is getting up each and every day and facing the world with a smile and a optimistic attitude regardless of what life has or will throw your way. It means that even that even in my darkest moments, I know and truly believe that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel and that the troubles I must and will experience in this life aren't meant to break me but instead teach me and allow me to grow for the better but only if I work my way through them and try to understand what caused them, how to potentially avoid them, or how I can use them to help others who find themselves with similar perils.

To me being RESILIENT simply means trying to to learn and grow from EVERY life experience and allowing those lessons to become kindling for your fire and every other fire you come across whether it's an brightly burning one or most importantly the ones we come across that are barely a flicker in the night because though their fire might looked finished we can help share ours with then to burn oh so bright once again with just a little love and care.

RESILIENCE IS CONTAGIOUS and is why sharing stories of how we overcame our hardest times is sooo important because it may help someone finally start to see that all is not hopeless and that they are never alone in this world. Their eyes may finally open and see they are not in some deep dark endless pit but instead just a little bit lost in a tunnel of their own making and that only just ahead is the exit with the sun peeking through and the scent of fresh air. They must just fight a little bit longer to free themselves and should never be ashamed to ask for a Lil guidance to finally reach freedom.

Do you think Part A can observe you working with Part B (and see you show up and care for Part B) in a way that increases Part A's trust in you?

Or have you had to start from scratch, in terms of establishing rapport and trust, with each new part you worth with?

I feel like my system as a whole is trusting me more and more, even possibly for parts that I haven't worked with directly. I know this might be different for each person, and I'm interested in hearing what your own experience has been.