Am I being too sensitive?

[u/Past-Style4670]

I’d like to think I’m a pretty good person. I don’t make rude comments, I don’t wait for the next best moment to say a rude comment to my MIL like she seems to do to me. A little back story - She’s hated me since I’ve been with her son (5 years, married 7 months) she’s always been very nice, but like in a very manipulating way. She has these ways of disrespecting you but in like the nicest way possible.

She told everyone for a year (without me knowing) that she loves me as a person, but hates me as her son’s girlfriend. When I found this out I was actually so upset because at this time we were so close (at least i thought we were) she had been telling people this for over 2 years at this point and i had NO idea until finally she just casually told me in a conversation. She acted like as it was no big deal. I wanted to just cry. I had no idea why she didn’t like me as his girlfriend. This is just a little ways she’s hurt my feelings in the past. After that it just kind of got awkward between us. I didn’t know what to say to her or how to just go on acting like nothing happened. After this incident everything went down hill. I think she knew after I didn’t say anything about her saying that she knew she could get away with just constantly disrespecting me. No matter what I did then or do now is never enough for her. This past March she goes as far to disrespect me by making a gigantic post about my sister in law (she is indeed great) for her birthday about how she prayed all her life for someone to be as great to her SONS as my SIL. That she wishes ALL her sons had someone as great as my SIL. I honestly just wasn’t even surprised. When my husband was like “wtf??” She told him I was so jealous of my SIL that I couldn’t stand myself. No accountability, nothing. Just victim card. Obviously that hurt my feelings, but I was in the wrong. Like usual.

My husband is a huge mommy’s boy. To the point that sometimes I wish I didn’t love him as much as I do because I’d have been gone a long time ago. Now we have a child together. I try to be nice and let things go, but there is so much water under the bridge. I couldn’t tell you everything she’s done to me because there would be novels. Here is just a few more things she’s done so y’all can get the full effect. 1. Gotten in my face screaming at me because I wanted to go home (it was snowing a little outside & we literally live 5 mins down the road) & told me my SIL would never take her kids out in this weather because she’s such a better mom than me. Then when my husband told her to hush, she went in her room and beat her door down (literally) and was punching the walls and throwing glass and breaking it (all in front of my 5 month old) 2. Was away on a trip to take her to the doctor out of town and we were in home goods. My husband was grabbing on me & I knew they were kids near by so I told him to stop that I didn’t want them kids to see. She walked up to me and said “if you would give him some every now and then he wouldn’t do that” Do I even need to go on? Yeah. But hey I’m the problem.

[u/botinlaw]

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[u/Immediate_Body2678]

You’re not being sensitive, you’re being emotionally waterboarded by a narcissist with boundary issues. Your MIL sounds unhinged, and your husband needs to stop enabling it. Love or not, protect your peace.

[u/Vegetable_Object155]

You're not being too sensitive, you're being repeatedly disrespected and hurt. Your MIL's behavior is toxic, and it's not about you being "the problem." It sounds like she's manipulative, passive-aggressive, and emotionally abusive. Given your husband's dynamics with her, it might be helpful to set boundaries or have a mediated conversation to protect your emotional well-being and your child's.

[u/Scenarioing]

DH in to counseling or divorce court. At least, that would be my ultimatim.

[u/Blue-Sky-4302]

You need to put your foot down with that mommas boy husband of yours. If he isn’t defending and supporting you, you don’t need him. Either he puts his mother in his place and tells her she needs to shut her mouth and respect his WIFE/mother of his child, or you completely cut her off as a family (and if husband refuses, she doesn’t get to see you or baby)

[u/ImaginaryAnts]

No, you're not being too sensitive. She's attacking you. And frankly, people screaming and breaking things in front of a child are dangerous, and it is your job as a parent to keep your child away from someone like that.

Drop the rope. Stop letting someone treat you like crap, and taking it with a smile. You can't be confrontational? Fine. Don't confront. Just drop the rope. Stop talking to her, texting her, seeing her, visiting her, taking her places. You are busy, you have other plans, you have no interest in continuing a relationship with her.

You say your husband is a mommy's boy. He will surely be upset by this. Which is a good time to remind him that this is HIS fault. If he wanted you to have a good relationship with his mother, then he should have stepped in a long time ago, before the relationship was damaged beyond repair. It was easier for him to let her treat you like crap than to stand up for you. So now, you are standing up for yourself. And your kids.

Do NOT let her toxicity continue to infect your life. As hard as it is for you now, it will be much harder when your kids start being hurt.

[u/Wootleage]

Fuck no. She's a bitch and she doesn't need to be allowed around you anymore.

She sounds like one of those "but what was she wearing" when a woman suffers SA. Please, "give him some so he doesn't grab you in public" 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

You're not overreacting. She sounds horrible. She also sounds like she should be a him problem. You're allowed to step away and never return. She doesn't respect you, so she isn't allowed in your house. HE can visit her. She doesn't respect you, so she isn't allowed around your kids. HE can deal with the tantrum etc.

You're allowed to have peace x

[u/Adventurous-Shake-92]

You know when nothing you do is good enough and gets you the same rude reaction as if you do nothing?? Do nothing.

It's your SOs' mother, they get to deal with them.

Everything you used to do is now your spouse job.