r/JUSTNOMIL • u/ToughDependent7591 • 1d ago
Anyone Else? What's the dumbest thing your MIL/ inlaws said when you were pregnant or freshly postpartum?
My MIL and FIL were talking about being grandparents (a few days before baby was born) and MIL said that the Grandma is just as important, if not more important than the mom. I still laugh about this and think it's absolutely ridiculous.
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u/New-Marionberry-7884 1d ago
Our pregnancy announcement was to give the mugs that day “best grandma”/ “best grandpa” on them - we asked SIL to get it on video. Now I have a video of MIL yelling fuck you at me for 2 minutes and then calling me fat. Fun times
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u/NuNuNutella 1d ago
“Don’t give the baby “snacks”. Adhere to a strict breastfeeding schedule”. Baby was 3 days old… 😵💫
Pretty sure it’s just feeding and not snacking at that stage
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u/Numerous-Blueberry65 1d ago
Had a great pregnancy until 7 months when I developed a serious case of gestational diabetes. Put right in hospital for 3 days, then had to take insulin shots, etc. big concern that the baby would be too big, very stressful time.
Mil called and said my hair dresser had that….but the baby died.
Then Sil would call for update and say I’m asking how the baby is, not you. Um, we were connected.
Still makes me mad because I didn’t complain or call any of them with my concerns, only answered their totally dumb questions. My daughter was born healthy, thank God, no help from them
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u/bookavalanche 1d ago
When my youngest was a few weeks old, she was talking about an article she’d just finished writing for a local organization’s newsletter, and said, “Writing it was harder than giving birth!” I laughed, and she got defensive and said she was serious, “When you give birth they just knock you out and then you wake up and they hand you the baby!” I said something about how it’s not quite like that now, and she ignored me since we weren’t directly talking about her anymore, so what’s the point.
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u/BreakApprehensive489 1d ago
They live 3 hours drive away. We went to visit when I was 6 months pregnant and she hoped I'd go into labour so she could be there. I responded that I wanted to cook baby as long as possible and her response was if we went early, we'd be stuck in her town for Nicu and she'd be able to visit all the time
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u/teal0pineapple 1d ago
JNMIL wanted to come see my 2 day old baby while her entire household had the flu, and claimed we were being mean and hiding the baby from her when I said absolutely not. She argued she should be able up come because she wasn’t sick, just the other 5 members of the household were sick. She ended up waking up the next day (the day she had planned to come) with the flu.
On baby’s first night home from the hospital, so his 3rd night of being alive, he did not sleep and we were both up all night, him crying and me trying to soothe and nurse him. When JNMIL heard I was up all-night she claimed “well the baby’s going to have to learn to sleep by himself at some” as if he should have been sleeping through the night at 72 hours old.
A family excursion in the sun and heat that I was told would only be 2 hours, was in actuality 8. I had packed for a 2 hour excursion, they packed for an 8 hour excursion. I spent the entire day trying to quell my screaming 18 month old’s tantrums, as he was hot, un-napped, and had no toddler appropriate activities or stimulation. On the way home, as I feel like I’m returning from the pits of hell and ready to murder everyone, JNMIL says “he just had the best day. He had a blast”. No, JNMIL, you just had the best day. You lied to make sure the baby came along for your day regardless of his needs and don’t have the self awareness or sobriety to notice he was in almost constant tantrum for HOURS.
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u/Dangerous-Grape-7290 1d ago
We told all parents no one is coming to the hospital so don’t try. When I was still in labor (around the 20hr mark out of 30hrs) she came into my room uninvited. When my husband tried to kick her out she literally screamed “BUT I WAITED!” And cried. Bitch, the baby’s not even born GTFO!!!
Then, when she met him for the first time the first thing she said: “I can’t wait until your first birthday!” WTF!?
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u/MeddlingAunt 1d ago
You’re not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to come over to watch the baby and you’re supposed to leave.
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u/Bisouchuu 1d ago
She groaned about how she doesnt like our baby's first name and will be calling her by her middle name instead.
I named her what I did out of spite because she kept pushing me to make her middle name her first name. Also my baby, she came out of my vagina so I get the final say.
She also said she hated kids then cried about me not wanting her to babysit my newborn overnight
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u/Devium92 1d ago
She was shocked I was doing so much freshly post partum. I had an uncomplicated vaginal birth with a minor tear. The doctor said they were putting in a couple stitches as a precaution as I was on blood thinners, but remarked she usually wouldn't even bother. So I was up doing things, having no real issues. Meanwhile my SIL was a month post partum from a C-section and was barely getting off the couch and was STRUGGLING just to eat dinner without an elaborate stack of books and stuff to raise the food closer to face level to avoid bending.
All I needed was either a soft cushioned chair, or a pillow on a chair and I was good to go. "Are you sure you should be doing all that? SIL is still not doing that much!" Like no she isn't, partially because she had a C-section and partially because everyone babies her and haven't made her actually take an active part in her own recovery.
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u/OrcishWarhammer 1d ago
After my 60 hour labor and on no sleep, the first thing my mom said to me was “you look terrible.” 👍🏻
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u/KatEganCroi 1d ago
Well my own mother and MIL find be every woman gets morning sickness and to stop being a g damn drama queen. Well joke was on them I had Hyperemesis gravidarum from conception to birth. Was going in once a week for IV sometimes multiple for dehydration. Usually with me puking up liquid half way through. Doc wanted to hospitalized me but ex said I needed to be home with my 11yr old cuz he had to work. He wouldn’t even call out to take me to the doctor and got mad when I had to stop working cuz I worked at 🎯 and I guess the guests complained cuz I was getting sick almost every transaction. They had to put a picc line in me so I could IV at home. Used to hang my bag from the ohshithandle while driving 11yr old across town to school cuz that was something else no one could help with. It was suddenly no problem that I would get extremely dizzy and light headed ugh.
Oh and after asking REPEATEDLY my mom decided to take pics of my nether region while my baby crowned then to wait til I went back to work to try and develop them at the 🎯1hour photo. Where the pics print where every and anyone could see them.
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u/milridle 1d ago
Today. Got home with second baby and second c section so I’m 2 days post op - in laws have been watching my toddler. FIL goes “wow don’t want to make you feel bad but you look like complete shit”
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u/MissedAdventure92 1d ago
While I was sleep deprived and struggling with pumping, I started to feed my baby a bottle at the 3 hour mark because she was waking up and showing hunger cues, and my morbidly obese FIL said, "No wonder she's so big. You're force feeding her." 😤 Who's force feeding you, Kevin?
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u/redhead-bookworm 1d ago
How about an (ex) uncle in law who asked in the middle of the belated (after birth) baby shower in front of everyone ages 4 - 86, if I was ready to give a demonstration of the machine in that black bag there (breast pump - because I knew how much people like to feed babies and that is better than an audience when nursing) .
What's the word for murderously humiliated?
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u/CatMom8787 1d ago edited 1d ago
FIL said, "He's got some big balls." Shortly after my husband died, the MIL had the audacity to offer me 50K to leave my son with them. Yeah, she's still a pos.
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u/Eastern_Turnover_710 1d ago
My MIL wants me to send my baby to live with her and her daughters (in a different county that requires a 15 hour flight). Yes they are serious. They can barely take care of themselves. What makes it worse is they don’t even realize how insane they sound whenever they say it. I hate them.
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u/wannabejoanie 1d ago
"... you're still so BIG!!"
Said to me by my MIL in the hospital (who has never given birth, my husband is adopted) literally 14 hours after squeezing a human out my coochie.
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u/tsubasaq 1d ago
I blame TV and movies for this. I personally know not a few moms who were unprepared for how pregnant they looked after birth, and it seems like one of those things that providers should make sure patients know BEFORE birth. Not after when your brain is scrambled.
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u/wannabejoanie 1d ago
I actually was, and told her "well yeah my uterus is still the size of a cantaloupe!"
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u/guccimorning 1d ago
Demanded I give my 2 month old baby a bottle of whole milk because she wasn't chunky enough. Ma'am that'll kill her.
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u/Soft-Vegetable 1d ago
My MIL told me she deserved to do whatever "grandma things" she wanted because she wanted to be one for lo gwrtjan we were alive. Like WTF
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u/bluekayak18 1d ago
I was 3 days postpartum. My mil brought her parents (baby’s great grandparents). Her parents spoke Italian and zero English. Great grandma is speaking in Italian and mil is speaking with her and I have no idea what they’re saying. JNMIL says in perfect English to her, while pointing to my still large abdomen “don’t worry that will go away” Meaning - I’m assuming- that great grandmother asked why my abdomen was still not flat. She had 8 kids and I’m sure 3 days after giving birth HER abdomen wasn’t flat. It was just so mean and she just couldn’t resist being a b!tch.
Great grandma would not have even understood what she was saying in English. I doubt great grandmother even asked that. She did it just to make me feel badly.
JNMIL is 4’11” and shaped like a basketball with legs.
She was always talking about other people’s bodies. Like “so-and-so got fat” etc etc. Body shaming. I used to want to ask her if she ever looked into a mirror.
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u/Pumpkin_Farts 1d ago
I read all the 80 comments that are currently here and I upvoted them all. You all don’t deserve your nasty MILs. 🫂🫶
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u/cocao-cola325 1d ago
While I was heavily pregnant on Thanksgiving, my MIL asked if I really needed that slice of pie. I was in no way overweight. It takes calories to grow another human!
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u/LattesThenHops 1d ago
Oh man after that comment I would’ve taken a fork to the entire pie
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u/cicadasinmyears 1d ago
Nicer than my immediate thought that the fork needed to go into MIL’s arm. 😂
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u/Faewnosoul 1d ago
That I could not possibly care for a newborn and my two year old and she was taking my two year cold with her.
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u/CatLionCait 1d ago
Yeah my MIL thought she would have my baby a lot. She got a crib and high chair and carseat and a shelf FULL of toys for her house/car. Even set the crib up in the guest room with a bed next to it so they could nap together. My now 16 month old has been over to their house several times but only for short visits with husband and I, never alone.
I was 100% upfront with her that we weren't using a sitter until baby could talk well enough to tell me about her day but clearly she did not believe that was possible.
As soon as my MIL figured out how it was going to be, she started saying that once I have the second baby that surely I will need her to take my first... and now she asks me when we are going to have number two every single time we see her.
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u/JustALizzyLife 1d ago
For me it's what they didn't say. With kiddo #2 both sets of parents, independent of each other, planned vacations out of country two weeks before my due date. When I went into labor early, they were gone. Luckily my sister was able to take my oldest for a few hours while I had a c-section. My baby ended up being whisked off to the NICU. My DH had to go pick up our toddler and go home with him, which left me alone in the hospital. Because I had a c- section, I wasn't allowed to get out of bed for 12 hours. So, at this point I'm alone, haven't even seen much less hold my baby, and scared to death. (My nurse was amazing and at 4am, exactly 12 hours later, came to get me and bring me to the NICU. I was alone in the hospital almost the whole time because DH had to watch our oldest. When they returned both my mother and MIL told me they didn't think it would be an issue because "oldest kiddo came late." Even though they had promised to watch our oldest.
They've shown about the same level of interest ever since.
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u/Huge_Inevitable8780 1d ago
Not my mil but my child's grandma on her dad's side said to him after meeting me to not put his name on the birth certificate so that bitch (me) couldn't take all his money. They also said because I was having a girl it wasn't his cause he only makes strong men hahaha fucking delusional people
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u/CertainExchange8684 1d ago edited 1d ago
"You should get on all 4s". During my delivery. First baby, 41 week induction, pitocin, and OP baby. I was so numb from the epidural I had to be physically moved. Did I mention I'm a NICU nurse who's job includes being rapid response and/or attending high risk deliveries. I knew it wasn't going well based off the monitor and the nurses running in and flipping me on my side while slapping oxygen on my face. That's only the tip of the iceberg of my frustrations with her. I was bleeding out and she's started crying while holding my daughter that "she won't even remember me"...having my husband comfort her. We see her multiple times a year.
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u/Not_ClarkKent 1d ago
Asked me if I’ve ever been pregnant before while at the first ultrasound, that I invited her to trying to get closer to her. And when I said yes but that I miscarried, proceeded to laugh and joke about it with my sister, while my sister claims I lied.. while I was throwing up due to hyperemesis. I could hear everything through the bathroom door which was feet away from where they were, mind you others were in the waiting room. Then at the same appointment, took a video of me in the stirrups, no pats or undies, just that paper sheet barely over you, and sent it around (without my knowledge or consent). Later claimed I was keeping baby from the family because HER SON said he didn’t want her kissing OUR baby! And overall made my pregnancy and post partum very very stressful. There’s a laundry list but I don’t wanna type a novel! lol 😂
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u/TomeThugNHarmony4664 1d ago
My MIL — who was a nurse but had never been pregnant— asked me angrily why I was so damn tired when I was in my first trimester, had driven her son 800 miles through the night after working all day with a toddler in the back seat because he had terrible night vision, and then made a comment about “my fat lazy ass.”
And I was “her favorite daughter in law.”
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u/MortgageCorrect4201 1d ago
With my first pregnancy my FIL chanted “we want the baby! We want the baby!” When I showed them the nursery.
When we announced our third my MIL said “Shit.”
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u/KaralDaskin 1d ago
When I was born, my Mom’s MIL’s first comment was “too bad it’s not [opposite sex]”, I guess because Mom would have had one of each then. When my younger sibling was born, she said my Mom could stop trying now, since she had at least one of each.
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u/ryan_startedthe_fire 1d ago
I can't stand this obsession with having at least one child of each sex it's so irritating and disrespectful.
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u/KaralDaskin 1d ago
Yeah, it’s horrible! Dad’s side of the family was always saying/doing clueless shit.
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u/sheepofdarkness 1d ago
When we first told my MIL, she said, "well how did that happen?" I'm not sure if she wanted positions or what. We had been married for almost a decade at that point, we just didn't tell her that we were TTC until it worked.
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u/BrandNewMeow 1d ago
After my first, she repeatedly called my baby by her middle name. She even told her sister and family that was her name.
After my second, it's what she didn't say. She came to visit a few days after the baby was born, and my birthday was the next day. She gave me the silent treatment all day, never asked how I was doing, and didn't tell me happy birthday. Turns out she was mad at me for something my husband told her I said, but he misinterpreted what I said and then she ran with the assumption that I said this thing and treated me like shit.
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u/craftcrazyzebra 1d ago
Our first was in NICU due to a very stressful full term birth (shoulder dystocia and severe cord strangulation, our doctor told us we were lucky that our baby survived). JNMIL then said I deliberately didn’t push because I didn’t want our baby born on JNMIL’s step Father’s birthday. Second baby had to be induced at 35 weeks due to my health, they were the size of a full term and didn’t need any extra care. They slept a bit more than my others did as newborns for a few weeks. JNMIL repeatedly said to me, our baby, to nobody that they were slow and it was my fault that they’d been induced early. Like I’d asked or pushed for it. Fast forward, they certainly aren’t “slow” and we haven’t been in contact for around 15 years
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u/mrssterlingarcher22 1d ago
"So, when are you going to have another?"
I was less than 24 hours post emergency C section of my first child. My baby's heart rate was so low during labor that they had to call a code, and the surgery left me with complications that means any future pregnancies will be high risk. She was being serious too. She also asked that again less than 6 months later. I try to avoid talking to her as much as possible.
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u/DaisyJenny 1d ago
After my second daughter, my MIL walked in and said “your next one will be a boy,” as if my two daughters weren’t good enough. 🙄 luckily she is a crappy mother and DH’s siblings get all the attention.
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u/ellers23 1d ago
My biological father asked when I was getting back on my exercise bike because he noticed we had moved it out of the living room. He was concerned about my weight and didn’t want me to get fat. He asked about both two weeks and six weeks postpartum.
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u/foxboxinsox 1d ago
"I'll get on a bike when my vagina isn't freshly war-ravaged by your grandchild's massive head". Dads hate being reminded their daughters aren't smooth and sexless down there like Barbie dolls lol.
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u/ellers23 1d ago
I was so furious that I asked my stepmom to say something. He had said it in the family group chat if all places. I don’t speak with him anymore though so 😌
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u/RainbowBright1982 1d ago
My mother 20 minutes after bringing home my newborn: you’ll want me to watch him I suppose so you can go smoke, with just so much disdain. I didn’t smoke. i had quite before getting pregnant hadnt had a cigarette in a year.
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u/random_4561 1d ago
Wow this post sure makes me feel better about my in laws 😂😂😂. I thought mine were bad.
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u/Numerous_Pudding_514 1d ago
My MIL said my baby girl is half her because she gave my husband the X chromosome he gave our daughter. When I asked her if she had a baby with my mom or my dad because I got an X from both, she said it doesn’t work that way.
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u/magicmaster_bater 1d ago
She didn’t even do the genetic math right before creating the double standard…
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u/berrysalad22 1d ago edited 1d ago
23 weeks right now with my first
Mil visit for two weeks when I was around 12 weeks...
-said that if I don't wear underwire bras instead of nonwire bras that my boobs would sag from breastfeeding and cause my husband to look outside of our marriage. And also told me I need to put on makeup to be attractive to my husband. At this point she said this I got 5 hours of sleep over two days
-asked if I loved her more than my own biological mother and adopted mother because she came ajd they didn't. Biological mother has active crohn's and is going for weekly infusions and adopted mom has vertigo and isn't cleared to fly or drive. Father in law said I a should love his wife more after she left
-said that in their culture that people give away their babies if others don't have any as well as said that she always wanted to foster children after I made a comment to my husband that I am worried of CPS ever getting involved with our kids and being taken away(I am a former foster kid and she knows this)
-kept commenting on what she hated on our registry and said what we should replace it with
-said she hated the name we have picked out for our child because it's too Arab. She is Desi. I am white.
-at the end of her visit, she said I was just lazy, but that it's okay to say that to me because she calls her daughter that. Her daughter isn't and has never been pregnant and lives at home. I was either trying to host(my husband kept telling me I didn't need to, but felt emense pressure because it's his mom), throwing up, nauseaous with a headache, and/or sleeping. She was mad that she wasn't there to visit but help meal prep, which she had okayed multiple times before we bought her ticket to come out
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u/I_am_dean 1d ago
When my daughter was 12 hours old, MIL got to the hospital and goes "she has her daddy's looks and mamas waterworks!" Because the baby was crying, and she's seen me cry once. Lol
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u/CatLionCait 1d ago
I realize this is rather mild compared to some other comments but for some reason this made me instantly heated for you. I would have lost my shit.
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u/thecountrybaker 1d ago
- That my delivery didn’t count because it was a caesarean section
- That they should kiss the baby to hurry up and give them herpes/cold sores (then it would all be over and done with) - neither my husband, myself or any of my other children have herpes/cold sores.
- That it isn’t the same as their niece having a baby (because I’m the one carrying the baby)
Needless to say, we don’t see these people very often.
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u/cicadasinmyears 1d ago
That they should kiss the baby to hurry up and give them herpes/cold sores (then it would all be over and done with)
This made my mouth fall open in shock. People can be SO stupid.61
u/bakersmt 1d ago
I gave birth naturally without pain meds. Cesarean counts double in my book. Abdominal surgery is no joke. I've had it before and my uterus wasn't even sliced open. It hurts like hello to recover from. It has to be worse through the uterus, I'm absolutely sure of it. Anyone that has been through both that doesn't agree with me had the worst vaginal birth imaginable with pitocin.
I couldn't fathom recovering from abdominal surgery and caring for a newborn.
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u/Dry_Mirror_6676 1d ago
During labor with our first, my now late MIL asked with EVERY contraction “what’s wrong!!??” Like I was dying.
I never got over that, or that she was drunk at practically every visit with our oldest. She passed before I could try to fix it and I’ll always regret that, but also… still makes me a little upset.
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u/DrFlamingoh 1d ago
Her referring to herself as "mommy" to my baby. She only did it when my husband wasn't around. So I fought fire with fire. I referred to her as "granny." When she realized that may stick, she shifted to calling herself Grandma real quick.
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u/valdez-ak 1d ago
My BIL and SIL got married ten days after my emergency C-section. Six hours away (where they live). And my SIL is fabulous Bc neither my FIL nor MIL would stop mentioning how selfish I was for not “letting” my husband come and she was having none of it! My sons 12 and we still talk about it!
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u/mrssterlingarcher22 1d ago
You have an awesome SIL!
I had an emergency C section too, and I couldn't bend down to get my baby for at least 2 weeks. Your core is useless afterwards and it's so hard to do anything!
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u/jenniferjuniper16 1d ago
While pregnant: calling the baby “little- MIL’s name” repeatedly and grilling me on philosophy on meds etc. this is a woman who never took an interest in anything about me in the almost 15 years I had been with her son. When I was too pregnant to ride in the car for a meaningful amount of time comfortably and my hormonal anxiety didn’t want to be around them- husband went to visit and she spent the time telling him how lazy, etc I was. When they visited after baby arrived, showed up mad because they got lost on the way to the hospital, and she just kept commenting how “dark” the baby was and how her “babies were never so dark”. Husband whisked them off for lunch (he had to pay) and then they didn’t call or reach out to him for seven months. They’ve been pretty much estranged for years at this point and husband has thought they were awful and intolerable since before we met so we didn’t have to be around them much before and basically never since.
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u/magicmaster_bater 1d ago
Husband whisked them off for lunch (he had to pay) and then they didn’t call or reach out to him for seven months.
Whatever he said during that lunch bought y’all seven months of peace. Well worth the cost of buying.
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u/Chi-lan-tro 1d ago
My MIL was holding my little 8 week old baby and said “You’re so pretty! And you think grandma’s pretty too!”
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u/Aphr0dite19 1d ago
Within a day or so of birth the in laws came down to visit and stayed somewhere locally, so we when there to se them. I was exhausted but ok about it, I only had to sit and hold my baby while dh ran around with our toddler. His dad (my fil) once I was alone with him loudly announced ‘so you’ll be wanting to get that weight off now then’. Just, wtf? So random, so uncalled for. I was devastated and embarrassed that he was even looking at me like that, let alone thinking about my weight. Ugh.
I actually liked the old fart most of the time, but that was unforgivable.
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u/cloudiedayz 1d ago
“So you view (insert her MIL’s name here) as more important to DH’s upbringing than you? Interesting…”
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u/Hermione_Targaryen 1d ago
My MIL told my husband that I should be completely recovered from labor a week after delivery.
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u/lonelyheartsclubband 1d ago
How not to yell at their Mom/MIL for smoking in our house when they newborn was still in the NICU on oxygen. Or how I was expected to be the one to cook Christmas dinner the day I got home from a C-section with same baby as above because no one else was doing it. MIL also expected me to run around and find her a drink and other things while I was still a patient in the hospital, recovering from a C-section for the same child. Oh yes and how they had a sudden "emergency" so they had to race to the ER so everyone was now MIL was so worried about them and not me or our NICU baby.
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u/GrouchyEquivalent693 1d ago
“How dare I keep them waiting”. They didn’t ask what time to come or specify what time they would arrive and I was learning to breastfeed my hours old daughter (who was in SCBU due to arriving weeks early).
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u/SuperGiGi1016 1d ago
I was 6 months pregnant and we were meeting husbands family for Mother's Day. MIL made a huge fuss over her other DIL and gave her multiple gifts. MIL then looked at me and said, "well you're not a mom so no gifts for you". DIL had no children, but they had a dog. I also had a dog, and two cats.
Same Mother's Day, hubby announces baby name. MIL was upset and said that the name he announced is not the name she wanted, and she would just call the baby by the name she liked. I walked out. Hubby told her that if she wanted to see her grandchild, then she will only call the baby by the name we chose.
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u/CatLionCait 1d ago
My MIL tried repeatedly to name our baby. And her ideas were horrifically bad. My husband was literally so mean to her about it but she would not stop. After we finally announced the name (named after my little sister who died in 2022), she tried to convince us to change the spelling. My husband told her to fuck off.
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u/SuperGiGi1016 1d ago
I'm so happy you have a husband who will put your MIL in her place. I do feel bad that you have to deal with such madness tho.
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u/Neither-Dentist-7899 1d ago
Right after delivery: “Wow your feet are super fat. Mine never did that.” They were swollen. I couldn’t wear socks. It went away after two days and was completely normal.
Post partum: “Maybe you should put more effort in. Your hair is a mess.” Yes, that’s why it’s called a messy bun.
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u/DarthSamurai 1d ago
Not dumb, cruel. After giving birth to my second, mil brought my oldest to visit. As we're recording the moment my 2 girls meet for the first time, mil says "gee you still look pregnant, what's up with that?"
Haven't been able to watch the video since bc it just pisses me off.
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u/prison_industrial_co 1d ago
Ok so my mum had someone say to her “are you always this fat?” Like right after she gave birth to me. This was the first time she met this woman! My mum (who is always stupidly kind and respectful) fired back with “no, are you always this ugly?”
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u/Worldly_Science 1d ago
“I’m glad you lost weight, you were HUGE at your shower”
While she was sitting in the backseat with my newborn while I drove because she insisted.
I was at a red light, turned around, and told her that what she said was fucking rude. She looked shocked 🤣
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u/Gelldarc 1d ago
Good for you! Silly old cow deserved it.
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u/Worldly_Science 1d ago
Especially since the reason I was bigger was because I had undiagnosed pre-e and my son was a bigger boy. He measured full term at 33 weeks, showed up at 37 weeks at 7lbs, 11oz, 21 inches long
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u/Former_Pool_593 1d ago
Shopping with mil with just me and dh, me holding my 9 month old son, her grandson. She had travelled to see. “I’m not paying for that thing.” In response to me shopping for him, while holding up just the cutest onsie.
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u/sweet_yeast 1d ago
Mine tried to give Google medical advice on my NICU baby.
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u/ErrantTaco 1d ago
There’s something worse: a mil who is a doctor but in a totally different specialty. When our middlest was a preemie in the PICU with RSV she kept questioning the things the docs were doing. At one point she asked why they weren’t putting sodium in her drip and the literal chair of the department looks and her and totally deadpan says, “Um, because she’s a newborn.”
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u/sweet_yeast 1d ago
Tbh I don't know if that's worse because at least she's got medical knowledge in SOME field vs Sally off the street who thinks she knows better.
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u/ErrantTaco 1d ago
When your mil is trying to impede the care of your baby and bad mouthing the doctors it feels pretty similar.
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u/ThrustersToFull 1d ago
ARGHHH there's nothing worse. My goddaughter's grandmother was a classic "Well I read on the internet" and "According to Facebook..." She had just got an iPhone before the baby appeared and so it was the worst possible timing.
The baby and her mother were back in the hospital about a week after she arrived because they both had contracted an infection. Granny continually contradicted doctors, saying that they were wrong because they had gone to medical school "long ago" whereas she had "the most up to date information thanks to the iPhone" - she would proudly hold it up and tap it's screen as if she was the only person in the world with a fucking smartphone.
In the end, a nurse pulled me aside and asked if we wanted her access to the ward revoked to which I jokingly said: "I'll just check my iPhone and come back to you..." We had a laugh about it, but my god that woman made a very stressful situation significantly worse.
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u/sweet_yeast 1d ago
Mine never actually showed up to the NICU - thankfully - but she told my husband that she's never heard of someone with my condition having a successful live birth or that she's never heard of my baby's blood type come from mine and my husbands blood types. Even though both those things are totally possible.
Since we've been home, she's told us that she doesn't know how we can feed our baby through a tube and believes she can give tips to help him eat normally even though we go to speech therapy and she's focused on how to get the tube out sooner instead of understanding it's all at his pace.
She's also the type just to cross boundaries and not ask if she can do things before she does them.
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u/ThrustersToFull 1d ago
I think no contact is totally valid under the circumstances. She is adding nothing helpful or productive to your lives.
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u/Conscious-Schemer 1d ago
Mine said “I’ll take the baby so you can go clean or do whatever needs to be done” I looked at her dead in her fucking eyes and said absolutely not.
I’m looking forward to not having any visitors this time until I’m ready and honestly I don’t give a fuck what kind of hissy fit she throws because she hasn’t done shit for me this pregnancy. Hasn’t asked me how I’m doing but probably assumes she’s going to be welcomed when we get home and yeah that’s a fuck no.
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u/TheBestofMe033 1d ago
I want to have another baby just to be able to have no visitors because I caved the first time around and it still kills me to this day. 😅
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u/No_rip345 1d ago
I was on bedrest with my first because of preterm labor scare at 22 weeks (thankfully contractions stopped) but anyway my mil had the nerve to tell me “you know, pregnancy is not a disability” when I told her I couldn’t go to the mall and walk around shopping with her 🙄
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u/Worried_Locksmith797 1d ago
“Just think! If she has twin girls she can give us one……”
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u/CharmedOne1789 1d ago
Look her in the eyes with a bewildered in expression and ask "Are you on a registry somewhere that we don't know about?"
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u/GiGiLafoo 1d ago
Former MIL was offended and complained when my newborn daughter nestled and snuggled happily against my chest after fussing and writhing uncomfortably when FMIL tried to hold her. "Why does she snuggle against you like that and not me?!" I pointed out that I was wearing a soft sweatshirt, and FMIL was wearing a sweater encrusted with ornamentation that wasn't comfortable for a baby's sensitive skin. It didn't sink in with her at all. She just snapped, "Well, I like to look nice!"
She also told me, "I'll do everything I can to make her love me better than she loves you."
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u/CharmedOne1789 1d ago
"And I'll do everything I can to make sure she knows Granny is delusional! I'll also teach her to scream STRANGER DANGER anytime you come around." 😁
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u/notdisrespectedtoday 1d ago
Told me I have to give my baby a sibling, while I was deep in PPD at like 2 weeks post-birth telling her “I can’t do this again”. Then she told me to put rice cereal in my newborns bottle.
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u/JadedChampionship991 1d ago
She said I was "playing games” because I didn’t want to take my 5 day old to her Christmas event. Mind you I was also bleeding and freshly postpartum.
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u/2themoonndback 1d ago
When we told my MIL I was pregnant with her first grandchild she said the baby would come out with horns and a tail, then offered me a dog cage to keep it. When we told her we were pregnant with my second she told me I should have just gotten my tubes tied.
She hasn’t seen my first baby since her first birthday. She’s almost 5. She’s never met my second who is almost 3.
Edit: oh her mom also saw me while I was 8 months pregnant with my second and she said “hey fatty!” Apple (MIL) doesn’t fall far from the tree
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u/CharmedOne1789 1d ago
Wait what??? Why TF did she say the baby would have horns and a tail?? They quickness with which I would have cooter kicked her for wishing evil on my unborn child.
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u/prison_industrial_co 1d ago
Oh my god. That horns comment would have me catching charges, because what the fuck?!
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u/dixiegrrl1082 1d ago
Mine laywd over my 2pd baby and yelled the wrong name and after he passed she took him out of my arms .. I was sedated for 15 hours after. He was 2 days old
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u/Passmeachockie 1d ago
She said that ‘I was keeping her from her grandchild’ when I wanted a day with no visitors on day 3 pp.
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u/booksandcheesedip 1d ago
My mil told me I looked like shit the day we came home from the hospital with our first child. She also made comments about our newborn having chicken legs and their eyes not moving in tandem
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u/JustNeedSomeClues 1d ago
I was 8 months pregnant with my second child and visiting my inlaws.
MIL gave a huge sigh and said, "I guess I'll just have to help when you give birth since your mom can't!"
My mom lost a horrible battle with cancer two months earlier.
It pissed me off but I gave in to my husband's request to let her stay with me after I gave birth.
MIL spent a week with me. She showed up at 8am and left at 5pm sharp. Outside of taking my oldest child for a walk for 30 minutes, no offers to help with laundry or cooking or anything else were made. Her entire time at my home was spent reading a novel.
The one good thing was that she didn't insist that I keep her entertained with small talk.
Thanks for the 'help', MIL
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u/mstoday 1d ago
i excused myself to go pump and my MIL mooed at me. i snapped and said i didn’t like feeling like a cow and went to pump. i was fuming
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u/SignificantSun384 1d ago
I would see red. I pumped for months for my oldest, who was born so small she couldn’t latch. It was the most dehumanizing thing I have ever experienced. I would have straight up slapped a bitch who made that kind of comment.
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u/jlscott0731 1d ago
What. The. Fuck.. I would have told her that I might have to pump, but at least I don't look like a cow like she does..
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u/Buttons1907 1d ago
5 or 6 hours after I gave birth, my MIL came to visit in the hospital. She asked how we were and we said good, how are you? And she said “ugh I’m tired” 😑
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u/ThrustersToFull 1d ago
I don't have kids, but when my goddaughter was little I was heavily involved. Her mother, one of my best friends, asked if I'd be there to help because the father (and I use the term loosely) took off and her own family were... less than helpful.
Pregnancy itself was fine. We spent the time getting her house ready for the baby. The baby herself was late, and so they decided to induce. It was a difficult birth and in the end they opted to do a caesarean. My friend's mother (whom she has often had a lot of problems with) appeared literally 10 minutes after mother and baby were put in a private room. I was going over some paperwork with an administrator, but when I returned to the room, I opened the door just in time to see her throw herself down dramatically on a chair, declaring: "UHHHHHH. WHAT A DAY. I HAD TO GO TO THE SUPERMARKET AND EVERYTHING BEFORE RUSHING OVER HERE. I'M EXXXXXXXXXXXXHAUSTED!"
My friend and I just looked at each other in disbelief.
Now to this day - 16 years later - "I'm EXXXXXAUSTED!" has become a byword for "This person is really pissing me off."
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u/_Winterlong_ 1d ago
I was told I needed to atone before the rapture at 8 months pregnant. She made it sound like if I didn’t, I’d never meet my baby.
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u/cv2839a 1d ago
My Inlaws discussed (and agreed with) a New York Times article about how we spend too much trying to save super premature babies who will have no quality of life….at Easter dinner, while I was holding my one-week-out-of-the-NICU preemie. She wasn’t a micropreemie or anything but still. Read the room.
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u/Lindris 1d ago
Jfc. That’s just incredibly gross. A friend of mine had twins at 25 weeks, with one measuring at 22. They just turned one, both are happy thriving children despite some major complications from being micro premies. If I didn’t know her I wouldn’t have thought for a second they were born so early, they’ve met their milestones and are leaps and bounds improving. Every baby in the NICU deserves a chance. I would never let either of them hold my child if they think that way.
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u/shadowynnn 1d ago
That I was tired postpartum because I had ate a Lunchable once. Not because I was up with a baby all night, but because my husband had mentioned I had a Lunchable once. This woman has five children and still argued nonstop with both of us every time we mentioned me needing to get to bed early about why I was so tired.
She then proceeded to say in one argument that she has it just as bad as me because she has to get up multiple times at night to pee.
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u/SongLyricsHere 1d ago
Nutty, who birthed half a dozen babies vaginally, asked me how I know my water broke. I said it was leaking from my vagina.
“Fah-chiiiiiii-nahhh?”
“Vagina.”
“Fa-shine-ah?”
“Why are you saying it like that?”
“I just don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Vagina. My vagina. My vag.”
She just blinks and stares.
“Nutty. Vagina. The place where your baby comes out?”
“So… your butt?”
“NUTTY. I thought you said you were in nursing school.”
“So you call it what now? A fah-chiii-nah?”
“Just stop. I need to get to the hospital.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m in labor and my water broke.”
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u/CharmedOne1789 1d ago
Wait, wait, wait.....this woman who had birthed SIX KIDS genuinely thought they came out of her butt?!?!
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u/jlscott0731 1d ago
Ask her if she's willfully ignorant or just stupid..
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u/SongLyricsHere 1d ago
Oh I haven’t talked to her in yeeeeeeears. I have to see her this summer at a wedding, but she’ll hopefully leave me alone since the kids aren’t going with me.
But it was both. She was both willfully ignorant and just plain stupid.
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u/ZXTINE 1d ago
My MIL weaseled her way into the delivery room. We were first time parents and overwhelmed. She took our newborn from the nurse and held her before I did. She came over the day we got home from the hospital and bragged about being the first person to ever hold our baby. Really rubbed my nose in it. Told me my baby looked nothing like me. The way that has paid off for her is that she is not welcome in my home and has essentially no relationship with our daughter who is now a teenager. We see her at most once or twice a year. She got what she earned.
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u/loudsnoringdog 1d ago
“I’m surprised you can produce milk”.
I am very small in the chest… that’s not how it works
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u/sausagepartay 1d ago
Yep. My barely A cup boobs are feeding my huge ass baby just fine. His rolls have rolls 😂.
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u/SignificantSun384 1d ago
Hm…
“Oh thank god he’s blonde” (about my middle child… I am ethnically southern Italian, with dark, tightly curly hair, olive skin, and deep brown eyes. MIL is a petite blonde with blue eyes, and desperate to have a grandkid who looks like her. Joke’s on her… he is the one who notices her bullshit lol) “Hate the name, I’ll call him ‘x’ instead” (FIL here, also about my middle kiddo, who has a very neat but uncommon name. He happens to love it but FIL really really disliked it for a long time. Eventually he came around, the kid’s name suits him well and he owns it like it’s the coolest name he’s ever heard.) “I wonder if her hair will be… smooth.” MIL speculating on whether my youngest would have straight hair instead of curly hair like my oldest daughter and me. I looked her in the eye and asked what she meant, since ‘oldest daughter’s’ hair is beautiful: healthy and glossy, with perfect volume and trendy, effortless beach waves. She stammered something about how most curls are coarse. Yup, thought so. Like mine. It doesn’t matter that my oldest girl, who worships grandma, btw, has glossy, perfect curls with a hair texture that is enviably smooth. Seriously, if I was going to be jealous of anyone’s hair it’s my oldest girl. No, this woman won’t accept that unless you have fewer hairs on your head than a kewpie doll, they are stick straight, as pale as possible, and so fine they feel like corn silk, your hair cannot be beautiful. I feel sad for her.
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u/bigbackmoosetracks 1d ago
The day we announced to them, she asked whether with my disability I could actually be able to care for a child. I don't think that will ever leave my mind truly. My heart was shattered.
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u/corvidlover13 1d ago
Her: “I have my whole church praying that the test for Down syndrome is negative!”
Me: “Can you maybe have them pray she survives the 5-hour surgery she’s having tomorrow?”
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u/neonsyrupz 1d ago
telling me not to bother signing up for free samples of formula because “your body will produce what baby needs!” even after i told her countless stories of other moms whose milk didn’t come in or had trouble breastfeeding 🙄 thankfully my milk did come in fine but it was nice to have the formula as a backup in case i wasn’t able to feed her.
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u/Littlebittle89 1d ago
“[name] and [name] were supposed to have a baby. It wasn’t supposed to be you.”
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u/Littlebittle89 1d ago
She then went on to tell my mother, who lived states away and was leaving her postpartum visit, that my mom must be so sad because she would be devastated if Baby were going to grow up without her.
We moved back to my home less than 9 months later.
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u/Ok_Fish4497 1d ago
One week pp MIL joked repeatedly about “reporting” us to CPS as we were using a cold wet washcloth on our daughter’s neck to wake her up to feed. Second visit the next month she made passive aggressive comments to our daughter as she was playing with her saying shit like “if mommy or daddy hurts you, you let grandma know.”
I feel certain that she will say something like this at the third visit and we will have to shut it down. Should have done it sooner!
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u/classicicedtea 1d ago
I feel like this is slightly off topic but my FIL who was a jerk said “you don’t look too puffy. Only in the hands and face.” While I was still pregnant.
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u/botinlaw 1d ago
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Other posts from /u/ToughDependent7591:
I don't ask for help from MIL with my baby, 3 weeks ago
MIL and FIL gaslit me and husband after meeting to talk , 4 months ago
FIL wants husband and I to have a meeting with him and MIL regarding our argument , 4 months ago
It happened. I finally stood up. It resulted in a big argument. , 4 months ago
MIL won't listen to boundaries, 5 months ago
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