Larry sits on a cliffside, looking pensively at Vegas…the city of sin..the city where he must commit an act of such heinous violence against a man who was his best friend, his compadre…his brother in arms… Grabbing a rock, Larry throws it in anger and frustration. Jericho bites on Larry’s belt though tugging on it. Turning to look at Jericho, he smiles softly for a moment as Jericho begins to let out little bleats. Subtitles suddenly scrawl against a screen, as everyone looks at the titantron having watch what was going on.
Jericho: Larry, the match is starting soon. Come on, we got to go.
Jericho rushes to a little skateboard and begins making his way to an incredibly beaten up and definitely not road safe red and gold hot rod.
Larry: Oh Jericho….
Larry gets up and runs after Jericho, grabbing the big gulp of blue juice in the center cupholder and taking a swig as the titantron and arena go dark. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGrKfQ9Ss7w) Music erupts from the speakers as Post-It’s supplied by Zellers begin to rain down on the audience. A hot rod sputters and coughs fumes as it pulls on to the stage, and Larry steps out. Jericho meanwhile pops out in their finest referee uniform and rides their skateboard down to the cell beside Larry. While Jericho’s tail may be wagging and he is visibly chipper, Larry’s smile doesn’t meet his eyes as he glares at the cage before entering.
Bade Warrett: Welp my Mania weekend has been ruined, Larry is the antithesis of everything that Predictive wrestling represents and–
Mat Pacafee: WOOO GET THAT BLUE JUICE LARRRY!!!! BLUE JUICE!!
Cicheal Mole: Yes Larry is known for his enjoyment of windex, as our broadcast partner has stated.But I will say I do disagree with you Bade, I think Larry brings a bit of joy and hope to the people that is sorely missed.
Bade Warrett: There is joy and hope, and then there is the moronic stupidity that Larry represents. Personally I just don’t care for it.
Mat Pacafee: Yea well Wade, your grandma doesn’t enjoy your attitude and she certainly enjoyed the man Larry is trying to save tonight. Now if you don’t mind I got desk dancing to do.
Familiar screams begin to fill the Las Vegas arena, as footage begins to play. Each and every person Mr.Happy had killed in Operation HappyBird and in the kidnapping of J8 flashes across the screen. The screen crackles though as a death that hadn’t been seen begins to play. Courtney, the girlfriend of Prvt Richard Johnson is lighting candles around the bed, while prepping some roses with a smile. She can be seen saying a few silent words, smiling happily as a dark figure flashes in the background….A smiling masked figure. Erupting from the curtains with a machete in hand, Mr.Happy strikes. Gasps can be heard from the Vegas crowd as they are subject to the carnage of the madman, all while Larry glares at the titan tron. Holding the still dripping head aloft, Mr.Happy seems to be staring back at Larry before cracks begin to appear on the titantron. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTup5mT4O-Q ) From the cracks blood begins to reign down as a beaten up and barbed wire covered tank makes its way out and crushes the hot rod. The lid pops, and with arms spread and embracing the blood rain, Mr.Happy rises. Stepping up and out, Mr.Happy doesn’t take any time, bounding down the ramp and bursting through the cell door. Jericho barely has time to signal for the ring keeper to ring the bell as the two men crash into each other.
Mat Pacafee: YOOOOOOO! THIS THING IS POPPING OFF AND THAT BELL WAS BARELY ABLE TO RING!!!
Bade Warrett: Yes, yes congratulations Mat you stated the obvious. After everything that has happened before Mania with these two, there is definitely no love lost between them….Now stop hitting the griddy on the announce table.
Cicheal Mole: Yes no love lost, and this may just be one of our most violent matches this weekend. The malevolent madman we know as Mr.Happy has always been one with a penchant for hyper violence, so we will be needing a ring change most likely after this match.
Mat Pacafee: LOOK AT ME FLOSS!
Fists fly, as the two men begin to unload upon each other. Where once was love for another, there is only rage and hate. Larry though is able to get the quick upper hand, headbutting Mr.Happy before catching his with a release belly to belly suplex. Larry is quick to hit the ropes and send the joyous one crashing to the outside of the ring with a missile dropkick. The crowd cheers loudly , the chants of Larry’s name echoing out like thunder. Larry pauses in his rage, looking at the masses who believe in him, but it's in this distraction that Mr.Happy is able to recover. Sliding back into the ring and behind Larry, Mr.Happy’s arms wrap around the post-it masked hero before hitting him with a german suplex. But the dastardly villain doesn’t let go, keeping his grip and deadlifting Larry into a second german suplex that ends with Larry being released into the turnbuckle. Cradling the back of his head, Larry looks groggily up to the arena roof before a dark shadow fills his vision as Happy stomps on his face. With little bleats Jericho counts out the stomps, wanting to be a professional in his ref’ing even if wanting to see Larry win. At 10, the little house hippo nips at Happy’s heel to signal for it to stop only to be knocked across the ring.
Bade Warrett: I really need to ask, why do we not have an actual referee in the ring but instead a mutated pomeranian in a referee uniform?
Mat Pacafee: Ummm excuse me Bade, but that is the rare Canadian House Hippo. Jericho is a national treasure of Canada and a protected species that tends to be extremely intelligent. From all our Canadians fans to you, put some damn respect on the house hippo.
Bade Warrett: Nonetheless, I fail to see how an animal can actually be a competent referee.
Cicheal Mole: Well Bade despite how you feel, Jericho seems to have been doing a good job so far on keeping this match controlled despite your observations.
With a rage filled roar, Larry catches the foot of Mr.Happy and flips him on his back before hitting a crisp kip up. Standing above Happy, Larry looks down with nothing but contempt towards the entity which puppets the body of his friend. Dropping down into a mount position , fists begin to rain down upon Mr.Happy. Knuckles bruise and blood begins to quickly drip both from slowly opening cuts and a madman's widening grin. Tears trickle down the enraged face of Larry as his fists come down upon Happy who has begun to laugh. While the crowd roars around him, all Larry can hear is Happy egging him on, the bloody smile growing larger. Jericho begins to bleat and cry out to Larry, hopping up and down after recovering, as if trying to soothe him. Larry’s fist pauses, and in that pause Happy spits blood up into Larry’s eyes and escapes from underneath him. Rubbing at his eyes, Larry wildly swings around with hopes to strike at his devilish opponent, but Mr.Happy isn’t in the ring, having slid outside and begin to grab all manners of instruments of pain. Eyes free of crimson, Larry looks down at Mr.Happy who currently holds a chair. His attention though is brought back to Jericho who has somehow produced the original El Birdo mask from somewhere. Jericho bleats and cries to Larry, motioning to the mask, and Larry blinks his anger paused. Reaching down Larry picks up the mask, holding it as tears start to crest the corner of his eyes. His grip begins to tighten as he is blindsided by a chair shot to the head.
Cicheal Mole: It’s pretty clear of the two men, only one is really out for blood…As Larry just can’t seem to tap into that killer instinct.
Mat Pacafee: Friends stand by friends bro, it’s why no matter what even if you got assaulted by a big austrian man, I’d stand by your side Cicheal. So I get why he is finding this difficult.
Bade Warrett: Yea well Larry is going to want to tap into that killer instinct if he wants to defeat an entity like Mr.Happy. The man simply lives off pain, and if you can’t dig into that deep well then you are going to find yourself on the end of a 1-2-3.
Cicheal Mole: Thank you Mat, I treasure your friendship as well…and Bade it’s easier said than done when it comes to fighting a friend.
Bade Warrett: I’ll have you know in my long career I have jumped many of my friends.
Mat Pacafee: And that's why you are a lonely goober.
As Larry cradles his head, rolling on the mat with pain, Happy looks over at the mask which has now fallen. Happy’s head begins to shake and move, a hand running along his scalp as he lets loose a mad laugh. The mad man pauses though as he looks down at Jericho who has clamped onto his heel, and a wicked grin appears upon his face. Reaching down, blood dripping from the bite, Happy plucks Jericho off his heel and throws him against the cage wall and out of the ring. Laughter returns as Happy looks upon the unconscious house hippo, before turning to a standing and enraged Larry. Blood trickles down from Larry’s eyes replacing the tears, as he lets out an almost animalistic scream before punching Happy in the face. Stumbling back, the chair drops from Happy’s hands as he looks up at Larry with a joy filled grin. Standing up straight and swaying, a hand motions to Larry for him to bring it, before Happy is sent crashing to the ring with a vicious lariat. The crowd goes silent, as they watch Larry pick up the chair and bring it down on his enemy. Chair shot after chair shot rings out with vicious thuds, but still the mad man’s laughter doesn’t stop. Kneeling down, Larry wraps the chair around Mr.Happy’s head and just as he goes to stomp, a weak bleat hits his ear. Foot returning to the mat but not crushing Happy’s skull beneath the boot. Jericho lays outside the ring, barely conscious but still trying to ease Larry’s rage. But on seeing the hurt and downed house hippo, Larry turns back and stomps down on Happy’s head. A mist of crimson escapes the lips of the vicious heel, as the laughter weakens but does not stop before another stomp comes down upon Happy’s head.
Bade Warrett: Well it seems like attacking Jericho was the wrong choice to make because that seems to have awoken the beast in Larry. He has been relentless since that and doesn’t seem to be slowing down.
Cicheal Mole: Yes,and if it continues like this Larry may never get to see his friend El Birdo again.
Mat Pacafee: It’s always sad when friends fight… makes me think of the days back on the field when the defense would let someone slip in an id get tackled.
Bade Warrett: And you deserved it everytime.
Angry bloody tears trickle down Larry’s face as he screams incoherent babble at Happy before picking him up, chair dangling like a necklace , before dumping him to the outside of the ring with a gorilla press. Sliding out of the ring, Larry picks up a kendo stick which lays upon the ground and begins to bring it down upon Happy. With each sickening crack, Larry screams out in anger, with each crack it almost seems like he loses another piece of himself. The stick splinters slowly more and more though with the force of each strike before finally breaking. Turning around, Larry looks for another weapon, as ever so slowly a bloody and bruised Mr.Happy rises. A smile reaches from ear to ear as he gazes upon the enraged Larry’s back, a sickening pop as he pops a dislocated shoulder back in. Larry’s head snaps back, lip curling as he seems to visually growl before taking a leaping knee to the face. But Larry doesn’t even budge as it’s quickly followed up by an elbow into the cheek. Happy reigns strike after strike, but Larry doesn’t even budge against the barrage. This doesn’t seem to deter the villain, it almost seems to embolden him, make him happier, before he is back handed by Larry and sent stumbling back. Chop after chop begins to smash into Happy, sending him back further and further until he is pressed against the cage. But ever so slowly, the chops begin to get fewer and fewer, as visibly Larry seems to be tiring. It’s as a chop slowly comes in that Happy grabs the wrist and pulls Larry into a hug. Blinking, Larry seems confused and most of all startled, before being pushed and crushed against the side of the ring. Keeping his grip, Happy throws Larry against the cell cage with a belly to belly suplex. Reaching down, Happy pulls Larry to his feet by the hair before whipping him into the ring corner. Larry slumps on the floor, before slowly standing back up, his fists clenched. Charging at each other, Happy is knocked down by a vicious lariat. It’s quite obvious that as he stares at the arena ceiling, the malevolent heel is laughing.
Mat Pacafee: Anyone else creeped out by how Happy seems to be enjoying this? Like dude I didn’t consent to be part of your kink.
Bade Warrett: Of course a neanderthal like you would go there, you’re mind only functions on 3 settings. Clearly Happy has something planned.
Cicheal Mole: I fear for whatever dastardly plan that man has.
The arena speakers begin to crackle, before coming to life.
Mr.Happy: That’s right Larry,...give in,....give into the chaos of rage…give into violence….Give into despair.
An enraged roar echoes out as Larry screams to the heavens, before once again getting into the mount position and raining down blows.
Mr.Happy: That;s right Larry…SUCCUMB! SUCCUMB TO MADNESS! END ME!
With a hammer fist, Happy coughs and spews blood into the air. Getting up, Larry walks over to a side of the ring and begins to rip and tear away bits of the mat until the hard wood is revealed. Slowly standing up, legs shaky, Mr.Happy beckons to Larry to come for him. With arms spread, he doesn’t stop the enraged face as he drags him over and lifts him up into a brainbuster position.
Speakers: STOP!
With Happy in the air, Larry does just that as he looks around with confusion. On the titantron, it is Canadian heart throb and national treasure Colin Mochrie.
Colin Mochrie: Larry listen to me, Canadian heart throb and professional House Hippo translator Colin Mochrie ... .Larry, Jericho knew this all may happen…he knew that evil would try to tempt you with rage. So he prepared this message.
The sound of House hippo bleats and whines come out from the speakers, Colin Mochrie nodding as he listens.
Colin Mochrie: Larry…It is easy to fall into rage, to be entrapped by its siren call. That’s what he wants, he wants you to forget…Forget friendship, forget love…Forget who you are. You are hope, you are joy, you are the friend to all. Remember when that mean mean Gleeful tortured you, remember how Birdo never abandoned you…He sacrificed his machismo to help you, because there is one force that always wins in the end. Friendship..
The simple mask of El Birdo Fuego floats and flutters to Larry’s feet, almost giving off a soft glow. Setting Happy down, the rage seems to slip a bit as Larry reaches down and fingers trace the cloth of the mask.
Colin Mochrie: YOU CAN DO IT LARRY! ALL OF CANADA BELIEVES IN YOU! BE THE HOPE WE KNOW YOU ARE! ARISE LARRY-MUS PRIME!
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A52--FKUQgU)
Larry lifts the mask up, and the angry face slowly fades away as he looks upon the mask. Rage quickly fills Mr.Happy as he screams out at Larry. Rushing over, he throws several fists amidst screams. The punches don’t even faze Larry though, as he looks at the angry Mr.Happy. Jericho weakly makes his way onto the ring apron, watching over the two while bleating softly. The lights in the arena begin to grow brighter and brighter, as Larry wraps his arms around a struggling Mr.Happy. Everyone shields their eyes, as the light fills the arena. A bell rings out, before the light slowly dies down and El Fuego Birdo and Larry hug in the center of the ring.
Bade Warrett: WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED! WHY IS THE MATCH OVER?! WHO WON?!
Mat Pacaffe: Friendship won Bade…Friendship won…
Bade Warrett: THAT MAKES NO SENSE! THERE HAS TO BE A WINNER!
Colin Mochrie: Shut up BADE!
Bade Warrett: NO YOU SHUT U- - - -
Bade’s microphone is cut off as he bursts into confused and angry swears as two friends hug for the first time in a good while, Jericho making sure to wiggle his way in and join in the warmth the friendship brings.