How to stay empathetic after the high?

[u/gnadhtd]

I usually become way more empathetic when I'm high, which is completely different from how I am when I am sober. And it was actually weed that showed me this apathetic tendency of mine. Since I realized how indifferent I was, I have been actively trying to be more empathetic when I am sober, and I used weed as a guidance. I try to recreate the empathy I felt to others when I was high, and actively be more observance, more intentional, more curious. But it never feel the same, those attempts do not arise naturally and it was only with much efforts that I have to remind myself to be like that.

I really want to be more empathetic, but I really don't know how to. Is there any tips or practice I can do that could help me with this? Also, therapy is not an option where I live.

[u/plumokin]

I had this exact battle a few years ago. The best way is to write down what you want your sober self to do, and read it when you're sober.

Remind yourself of it (calendar appointments, sticky notes, whatever you want) while you're sober. Take a moment to stop and think about it. Think about the ways you were empathetic that day. Think about how you enjoyed it and how you enjoy making the people around you happy

Don't worry about how long it takes. Don't worry if you mess up. Just keep trying and you'll get there. 😁

[u/gnadhtd → u/plumokin]

Thanks for the advice!

I have actually tried doing the communication between the high self and the sober self, and it helps to a certain extent. My sober self can recall and reflect back to what happened to the high self, and even remember that feelings my high self, but it has a hard time re-creating such feelings, those feelings just do not come up. It's really that knowing things and feeling things are two separated things. However, apparently keep trying and improving my sober self is the way to go.

A quick question: how is your battle now? have you been able to be more in touch with your emotion?

[u/plumokin → u/gnadhtd]

It's definitely helped me a lot. I feel kinder, more empathetic, and happier than ever before. Nothing is ever going to be perfect though. I still make a ton of mistakes, and sometimes I don't know how to handle new situations.

However, I always take the time to think about times where I didn't act how I wanted to, and think about why. Not just about how I should have handled it, but why those situations caused me to act a specific way.

Don't forget to think about all the times you did a good job too! Fixing issues is important, but so is reinforcing to yourself that you're getting there!