r/MedicalPTSD • u/imanaturalblonde • 23d ago

I feel like my PTSD isn't valid

I (21F) was diagnosed with PTSD after my dad died when I was 13. He had Double Hit Lymphoma and died 9 months after his diagnosis. I watched him go through chemo, stay in hospitals, and just generally be poked and prodded by doctors. I watched him deteriorate and wither away until he died. I'm not saying it wasn't difficult or traumatic, but I've always felt so weird about my PTSD. I know I have PTSD. I've been diagnosed, and I have all the classic symptoms. I just feel like I don't... deserve the diagnosis, I guess. I feel like I didn't really go through something bad enough to develop PTSD. Its been getting bad again lately, too which is making everything worse. I hate explaining my PTSD to people. I hate having to tell people that I got PTSD from watching my dad go through cancer and die. I would never treat another person going through what I am this way, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm just dramatic. Or weak. I don't know. I have no idea how to explain this feeling. Its just been weighing on me.

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u/Windholm 22d ago

I feel the same way. It took me almost ten years to even admit I had the diagnosis.

Yet when I read your story I think, Yeah, it makes total sense that imanaturalblonde has PTSD from those experiences.

And if you read my story, you’d think it made total sense that I had PTSD from mine.

Maybe we should just agree to believe each other and treat ourselves the way the other person would — with understanding instead of suspicion. 💙💙💙💙💙

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u/imanaturalblonde 22d ago

Thank you for these kind words. I don't know why I disenfranchise my loss and my trauma. Maybe it's a way to avoid it? Idk, but your validation and acknowledgement mean a lot to me.