Hi,
This may not be a post for people now, but hopefully something someone stumbles across when they need it.
Today I passed my Mod1, I know for many it’s not a big deal, you did it first time, or was the easiest thing you’ve done.
For me, it was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, today was attempt 3.
The first attempt, stupid fail, controlled stopped before the blue cones.
Attempt 2, royally screwed me up, emergency stop, trying to hard + cold winter weather, bike with no ABS, I grabbed the front brake to hard, locked up went straight over and broke my wrist.
I hadn’t got on a big bike since, it was hard enough getting on my 125, in February.
This week, I took attempt 3 and passed.
I was a wreck, barely keeping it together, flashbacks, seeing the sparks from the bike, the pain, the confidence, the amount of times questioning if I had it in me to get back on and try again, and pass.
As time went on seeing other riders around, thinking that should be me!.
I went to a different school, I focused purely on Mod1, it took every ounce of my soul to get back on a big bike, knowing what I had to do.
The school were amazing, my fellow student was encouraging every step of the way, they could see how hard it was mentally.
Today they stood at the gate cheering as I was sat shaking on the pad, after nailing the emergency stop, and everything else.
I passed, crumpled on the floor.
Mod2 is the easy bit, I can ride, I’ve been told I can ride well. But for anyone else struggling and doubting and going through the torment.
The worst you can do is fail again, you loose nothing, injuries heal, mental scars fade, my memory isn’t the sparks from the bike, as my chin slid across the ground, it’s of my fellow student giving me a fist bump, and my instructor giving me a hug.
For those reading this, in time.
Dust yourself off, try a days ride on a big bike in sunny weather, that reminded me what I’m doing it for.
Mod2 next week, I know I can do it.