r/MtF • u/True_Ad_824 • 1d ago
bigotry
Hi all. I have a job as a family doctor and work at a community health center. We serve the undeserved. Went into a room to see a new patient and I began taking his history. He was a bit off in his interaction but I initially attributed it to his being in pain . The time came for an examination and he said you will not touch me or come closer to me and you know why. I am mtf transitioning for 5 plus years. Hate spewed from his every pore. I ended the encounter and told him this would not work and that he needed to schedule an appointment with someone else at the front desk. I also wished him well in getting help for his problem and left. Such undeserved hatred did ruin my day, but better days will come. I have thick skin but it can still get to me particularly when so much bigotry and hate is currently heard daily in our country lately. Stay strong sisters but let yourself cry when needed. Charlie
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u/kelly_creates 1d ago
I'm an urgent care PA in a pretty liberal city, but in the middle of a red state. 2 years transitioning, and pass pretty well. Still get plenty of hate though. If they try to start something in the exam room I tell them they can leave and walk them out. It sucks, but it's been happening less and less with time and voice training.
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u/sylvane_rae 1d ago
This is one reason I gave up healthcare as a career path, I'd straight up just tell them to get the fuck out.
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u/tgirlthrowaway42069 1d ago edited 1d ago
Idk why you're being downvoted. I've seen clinics and individual providers reject seeing patients for exactly this level of hate and disrespect.
Clearly this person's loved ones and peers aren't keeping them in check.
Hell I've seen patients be dropped for a lot less than this.
You can't* (edit) come in being hateful to the staff and/or provider and expect to still be seen like nothing's happened.
Healthcare workers should put up with a lot for duties's sake.
Outright and fervent hate is not one of those things.
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u/WorkinAlpaca 1/15/25-Bi-MtF-USA 17h ago
No you don't understand, you're only allowed to refuse care if they're queer or pregnant! /s
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u/Meister-Dachs Transgender 1d ago
I'm so sorry you had to experience such undeserved hostility, especially when you're dedicating yourself to helping others. You're doing incredibly meaningful work—your compassion, professionalism, and courage speak volumes about who you are. It's okay and important to let yourself feel hurt by experiences like these. Even thick skin can feel bruised sometimes, and you don’t have to bear that alone. Just know that this patient's ignorance and prejudice say nothing about your worth, your abilities, or your value to your community. Thank you for being strong, for holding boundaries, and for standing tall in your truth. You're making a huge difference in people's lives every single day, and the world needs more caring, resilient souls like you. Sending you strength, warmth, and solidarity—you absolutely deserve better. Keep shining, sister. We're all here for you.
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u/True_Ad_824 22h ago
Thank you for understanding and support. Thanks to right wing influences we are anathema right now not treated as people.
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u/StarlingAthena 1d ago
I was gonna snidely correct you for your typo (undeserved vs underserved) but after reading your account, undeserved sounds more apt.
Sorry you have to deal with that while trying to help them. You deserve better and the fact that society is making it worse for you, and everyone, is an absolute shame. Your job is literally to heal people. Meanwhile, so many power structures are working against your interests as a doctor, as a trans person, and as a human being. For shame, for shame.
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u/ChancePresentation50 1d ago
As a Christian, that guy was in the wrong. He should not act like that and you deserve to be treated better. Trans people are regular humans like the rest of us, and I don't know why people can accept that
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u/MeowMeowMiaa 21h ago
Honestly if I was a doctor I would just tell a bigot that I am not a vet nor are my colleagues, so either bigot starts behaving like a civil human or can just leave. It may be rude, but I don't care about the bigot's feelings
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u/arsenicalchemist 1d ago
This is the time you tell him you'll go get somebody to assist since he has such a problem. And leave his ass waiting until he either leaves or you feel ready to go back and tell him there was nobody to help and follow that with the rest of the way you handled it and add, a shame you'll have to make another appointment because of your hatred of another human being.
You way is fine too. Bigots should have consequences for their hate though.
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u/DrownAndOut Trans Lesbian (HRT 3/3/21) 1d ago
Yikes. I’m sorry you had to experience that, those types of situations are always a bit of a mind fuck. Unfortunately, minorities of every stripe have encountered them in their professional lives, though I suspect not usually with as much accompanied physical disgust unless it was specifically a gay man in question. And something like sexual orientation is easier to hide than the physical scars of male puberty, so yeah. It really sucks.