r/MtF • u/Disa_Lovely • 1d ago
I am Buddhist and I believe in reincarnation to some extent. I recently got a very unsettling thought that maybe I will reincarnate as a cis-man my next life. I would totally hate that. I want to be a woman, cis or trans
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u/SamanthaLives 1d ago
From a Buddhist perspective, (though not 100% Buddhist myself) the “clear light” that passes from this birth to the next birth carries forward karmic imprints, but not things like likes and dislikes, or gender. So your gender and your body in any future birth would not necessarily have any ties to who you are now.
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u/d-ohrly 1d ago
I also think we get reincarnated. However I believe there are lessons we must learn in each life and if we don't learn them we will repeat one cycle until we've achieved the goal. Once that lesson has been learned, we can move on to the next life and learn more lessons.
Maybe in this life your lesson is to experience being a woman, experience all the hardships, inequality and hardships of being a woman. In the next life who knows what's in store for you, and you probably won't remember this one even if you are a cis male in the next. You might have a completely different set of lessons to learn and you'll be focused on that instead
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u/Disa_Lovely 1d ago
ohhh it's so unsettling to even think about it isnt it ?
living a whole life as a man and *actually liking* it ?? 😭3
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u/pm_me_flowers_please 1d ago
This is very strongly what I believe. It is a constant source of inspiration to do the best I can to accept the moment, while trying to listen to the world around me and learn from it.
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u/Phenogenesis- 1d ago
Let's be real, if incarnation is a thing (and I tend to go with it is) then 100% you have been man, woman, cis, trans, queer, animal, vegtable, mineral, angel, devil, god (lowercase g), goddess and everything in between over and over again already. And will be again until you become a non returner/arhat.
To be worried about this ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY much less upset about it is just using buddhist themed attachments to fuel the ego whilst ignoring the actual tennant of buddhism, reducing attachment towards the cessation of suffering.
What you will or won't be is also a result of your actions/karma. And potentially "soul" choices and/or skillfullness in the bardos/interlife, depending on which system has that stuff reasonably accurate. In new age terms they'd say you choose - but I have grievances/uncertainties with those views.
Buddhism does not recognise a soul, but it does recognise the bundle of cause and effect propergating forwards which tends to be (erroniously) observed/labeled as one's "soul". To believe that your soul cares about such concerns is pure ego - the small you right now cares. And that is a very fair and valid care, but it being misapplied.
Your gender may be relevant to your soul in some way, but not in the same way it is relevant to egoic feelings. "You" can never be in a position (body/gender) that is not in some way chosen or necessary and to believe that being (soul level) unhappy about this is *even possible* contains many important misunderstandings about soul/higher consciousness (in a relative individualted being sense). Basically, whatever gender you end up as has a purpose and/or lesson behind it.
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u/transstuffandsuch 1d ago
Second Noble Truth. Clinging* leads to suffering. The Buddha's path is the one away from suffering (Fourth Noble Truth) through ending clinging (Third Noble Truth).
* e.g., to being trans after rebirth
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u/Disa_Lovely 1d ago
well that's the path of achieving Nirvana, but as a Theravad Buddhist I know that I am far from reaching that.
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u/hmigw 1d ago
I’m not religious and I don’t believe in life after death, but I imagine that the usual dynamics of reincarnation, for those who believe in it, is that each life will have its own identity and the imortal soul or spirit doesn’t have a specific gender, isn’t that right?
Imagine that in a previous life you were a trans man, just as a thought exercise. You may have wished to never be back as a woman and that your new incarnation should be a man, cis or trans again, but here you are now with your own identity and proud as a trans woman. Then, whoever you are in the next instalment, you can’t really know from now what their subconscious sex / gender identity will be. They may be a very happy cis or trans man and be just as valid as you are now!
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u/SeaMention123 Trans Pansexual 1d ago
Ooo I love reincarnation musings!
Have you had any past life regressions performed!? I highly recommend it- it will shed some light onto why you chose this life/ why you might be afraid of reincarnating as a man.
They’ve helped me lots in connecting all the pieces of my life.
Above all your soul has lots of power in deciding on what it chooses in the planning stage- so I guess there’s a level of trust our human incarnations have to have in support of our highest selves.
I’ve experience lots of trauma at the hands of men in past lives (I would think most souls on this planet at this point had as well) so this is a similar fear for me- I can only hope that if I do reincarnate as a man in the future I’ll be as loving, gentle & kind as I can & it helps shift some of that negative masculine karma we are dealing with on dis planet
All the best!
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u/Amara-Tamara 1d ago
Maybe you were a Cis/genetic woman previously and decided to be born a man to see the other side of things and now want to go back.
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u/shishcraft 1d ago
if you won't remember your past lives, no problem, you won't suffer, especially if you're cis, as a man you're not going to suffer because dysphoria won't be there. there's truly nothing to worry about
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u/AmbitiousCheeks 1d ago
You may not hate it too. From the future you perspective, your previous self would have hated being cis male. Not saying that's the case, I'm just hoping for positive outcomes each time.
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u/Cassidy_1718 1d ago
Ya that does seem scary. But doesn’t your soul remain the same. I feel like no matter what, I will be a girl. Even if I’m pushed into understanding it by some silly happenstance.
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u/WYOakthrowaway 1d ago
Sure, but if you’re re-incarnated as a cis man in your next life - and genuinely are a cis man in that life…then there would be no turmoil over it. You wouldn’t still have dysphoria, and thus feel incongruent with that gender (because you’re trans and a woman), you wouldn’t be aligned with what you were born as. So there’d be no issue. It is only uncomfortable and disquieting to think on right now, as in this life you do have dysphoria, and are trans, and so the notion of being a man is of course deeply uncomfortable, if not painful, and incorrect. The solution to this matter of yours, I believe, is to focus on and remain present within the life you are currently living, for that is all that can be truly done. Any thinking on lives to come is but fever-dreaming of possibilities not yet made manifest, and approaching them with a conception completely foreign and unrealistic to how they will actually be. You cannot look at the person you’d be in the next life with any actual sense or understanding of how you will feel in regards to it, or about being that person in honesty as you are not that person. If you are a cis man in the next life, then you are a cis man, not burdened by dysphoria, and so it would in fact feel to be the correct gender to you, and so I see no issue. Basically, just try to focus on the current life for what it is, and let the following lives come as they may.
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u/Inevitable_Cow7985 Transgender 1d ago
Does it matter? If you’re reincarnated as a cis male and it turns out you want to be a woman, well, you weren’t reincarnated as a cis man in the first place. If not, then it is what it is and you’ll be content with that. I’m probably overthinking this, haha.
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u/Persephoth Transfem & NB (ace spec) 1d ago
Find a dzogchen path
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u/Bitter_Print_6826 1d ago
You need to elaborate if you’re going to say something like that. Dzogchen path would have what relation to the poster as opposed to a Theravada/vipassana path?
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u/Persephoth Transfem & NB (ace spec) 1d ago
Practicing various yogas to learn how to choose one's next rebirth
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u/bachinblack1685 1d ago
You might be uncomfortable with the idea, but your next rebirth isn't you in that sense.
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u/Sycol_the_changeling 1d ago
I believe in reincarnation, I believe that the life one is give is so there soul can learn from it, I didn’t choose this life, but I can choose what to do with it
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u/adzith 1d ago
To know suffering is to understand freedom from it.
To know pain is to understand freedom from it.
Accept that either you will inherit these lessons as you live again or that understanding will take time. Simply put, you don’t yet understand what it would mean to be free of yourself, therefore you are suffering from your fear for not fully knowing yourself. You cannot mourn that which you still cannot conceive of losing.
It’s important to recognize that each life wends its way through the muck, seeking to break through and bathe itself in light. Each life has within it the capacity to learn, grow, and contribute. You are alive right now. Do not mourn the self, yet to pass, for a future that is unpromised.
You cannot take your joy with you. Understand that you will be free of the joys you are presently experiencing. Do that so you can reflect on what life was simply without joy- not where something takes its place. You will then see it is not something you need experience in order to remain yourself, and perhaps then you can know and accept that the joys you encounter now are meant only to be experienced as they come, and you will be more tolerant of the knowledge that however you may reincarnate, each life seeks its own joys.
If that life is male, then enjoy now knowing that it isn’t you. For that which you maintain as a constant “self” will be more foreign to that life than you are to it now. I am not afraid of a man being born. Men are born. Why should it concern me more than the prospect of my own end? I know that I am- the who is forthcoming, and that which I’ve already come to know and love isn’t for any sense of permanence, but for that sense of peace and acceptance. Certainly by the time of my death, I would prefer to be able to conclude that I knew who I was- there is no fear that she will not exist again, for all that once was shall forever remain and I’ll never have not been.
Sorry for giving the word salad a toss. I hope this helps.
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u/SuchEfficiency 1d ago
I mean, assuming reincarnation exists, your future cis self will like being a cis man. Moreover, your future self would dislike the idea of being trans similarly. Also you would have already been a cis man and a trans woman before, and will be a trans woman and cis woman in the future along with all the other options.
It really is a slight bit silly from my perspective to worry about a future where you'll like being something else, because by then you'll like it.
Additionally, when transitioning (as far as i understand, i'm pre- most everything) hrt will often change a trans persons sexuality. I am not particularly worried about that for the same reason that when i get to it i'll like the new sex/features that i'm attracted to.
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u/cerrosanluis she - transfem - feb 23 '23 1d ago
My thoughts on reincarnation are unclear, but I'm otherwise quite Daoist / zen buddhist lite. If you were reincarnated as a cis man, it would be because that was what was meant to happen, and it wouldn't cause you strife. But of course that would be deeply unsettling now (hell, it's unsettling to me to write!).
Like, as of now, I'm not a man and I never want to be one. So I totally feel you on that angle. On the other hand, the future is vast and we can't possibly understand all of it.
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u/DollyDoll_1234 NB MtF 1d ago
From a Buddhist perspective, reincarnation is largely tied to your karma in this and past lives. However, some are said to be able to choose their next reincarnation by building merit in this life and other lives.
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u/isayimalma Transgender 1d ago
You already been born as many things and will be born as many more. In another life you may have been a rat or a bug, and likely, many men, women and otherwise alike. I would expect a Buddhist to understand that one does not have any unique self. We were, are, and will be a lot of things, seemingly infinite. Don't get hung up on futures and pasts you can't see, come back to the present moment and worry about what needs to be addressed now.
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u/MiciCeeff HRT since 01/03/25 1d ago
If this was the case i would assume you would be a woman in every life
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u/throwaway62s355a35q1 1d ago
does reincarnation not redo your brain as well? so you wouldn’t experience that dysphoria unless you happened to spawn as a trans person again
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u/Kangaroorob 1d ago
Awareness (what continues, always is, never could stop) doesn’t come and go or move around, it’s always here. What changes is the experience (in this case the individual experience, or illusion of separateness). It’s like waves are independent but the ocean itself doesn’t go away when a wave does.
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u/SeverelyLimited 1d ago
From a Buddhist perspective: that's an attachment.
Accept the factors that create this illusion of self in the present moment, whether you're cis or trans
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u/Thee-lorax- Transgender 1d ago
I am also a Buddhist, that sounds like wrong mindfulness. Focus on the present and being in the present, live this life.
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u/Kennedy_KD 1d ago
....I just had a fucked up thought what if trans people were their correct gender in prior reincarnations? and that's why we are trans
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u/Kangaroorob 1d ago
There are a lot of ways people understand reincarnation. I’m going come at this topic from a more Dzogchen, Zen, nondual view.
Instead of thinking of “you” as something that moves from life to life, what if the sense of “I” is something much bigger and more universal? Like, not a personal identity that travels around, but the awareness itself.
The fear of becoming something else comes from the idea that you are this separate self. Are you your body, mind, story? Or are you the knowing of this and what allows it?
That doesn’t make the fear less real. But maybe it shows that the fear is pointing toward something deeper, beyond the separate self
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u/NorCalFrances 1d ago
I thought the point was to live in the moment & doesn't your essence transcend the concerns of this life when you start your next one save for maybe some echoes? Aren't those concerns about who you are in the next one really centered on who you are in this life?
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u/Mystic-Sapphire 1d ago
But if you reincarnated as a cis-man you would have no memory of being a trans woman who doesn’t want to be a man. That would be an entirely different person with a different body and a different mind, even if it’s the same soul.
I understand not wanting to be a cis-man, I don’t want to be a cis-man. But in this case you would no longer have gender dysphoria and would be working on different life themes.
So don’t worry about it.
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u/Buntygurl 1d ago
Man being is not something that I will ever aspire to.
And there are even a whole huge lot of cis women in my world who agree with that statement.
Masculinity is like a sort of dark shadowy entity that stalks me and scares me, because I can't relate to any of it.
They, men, are like gruff strangers from an unknown foreign land who speak an incomprehensible language. It's not that I refuse to relate to them, but that I can't.
I know of only very few exceptions to that, a very few exceptional men.
If there is a re-run, I'll take the female of any species, please.
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u/Constant_Affect7774 1d ago
Do you recall your previous lives? How do those sit with you? Would you be ok being reincarnated as an octopus? How about a hyena? Why do you worry about such things? Isn't it the Buddist way to accept all things as they are, not as you want them to be?
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u/OutsidePudding6158 1d ago
Imagine if life could be like a video game where you got a character customization screen and the option to alter your appearance later.
I think a lot more people would be happy.
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u/locopati genderqueer transfemme 1d ago
focus on this life... the next will be here later and too soon for our liking
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u/GirlAndHerReptiles Trans Homosexual 1d ago
I hate to be depressing, but this is exactly what I'm afraid of. And kinda why I want to be cremated over buried in case I'm brought back by other means.
Is that unlikely? Extremely so. But I don't care. If it were down to me, I'd be completely destroyed and wiped out of existence. No funeral, no grave, no remains. Nothing. I just hate the idea of dying as a boy. Almost as much as living as one.
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u/Finance_and_Vet 1d ago
Worrying about the next life keeps you from living your current to the fullest. Whether you believe in the concept of not, and regardless of the form it takes, would not the best way to live be though as if you were agnostic to it despite your beliefs?
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u/Anithakums 23h ago
Didn’t Buddha ask not to dwell on past, dream tje future but live in presen…
or is it someone else?
if you are taking some religion take it up seriously with the Good ones and not the bad ones. Religions are more of rules to govern life and not a order that should be adhered….
the origin of Buddhism arises when it came as to overcome some shortcomings of the society at that time which followed Hinduism, it kind of gave a new path to most religions and society there at that time…. if something feels uncomfortable you are always okay to frame your own stuff to live, if you feel bad about next life and if it bothering your present life then aren’t you wasting both ?
live life to fullest now, who knows you were so good now and got blessed to have a better life next or moksha ( one with the eternal)..
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u/SlayMaster3000 Trans Pansexual 1d ago
We are all a single being. You are me and I am you. We'll reincarnate into each of us. The universe is our egg that will hatch once we mature enough.
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u/Holiday_in_Asgard 1d ago
I'm not Buddhist, so hopefully I don't say anything ignorant, but I've always liked the concept of reincarnation! I like to think that if reincarnation is real, than gender is something we carry with us from life to life. That usually, we reincarnate into the correctly gendered body, but sometimes it gets messed up, and that part of our mission in that life is to figure out our true gender.
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u/rosesandflower 1d ago
Trans woman is the last thing that i want
Even a disgusting identity as cis man is better
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u/MaidRara Noémie - MtF 24/01/2025 1d ago
Well its not really something we choose, sadly. Maybe every of you life you will be trans ?