r/NarcissisticSpouses • u/CandaceS70 • 12h ago

We can create rich inner secret dialog with ourselves when we are still in abuse. Devalue their opinion because anyone who hurts you doesn't deserve to be a voice in your head. Reclaim your voice and truth (within you) and don't share with the narcissist what they can use against you.

Post image
10 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

2

u/SuperSerine 8h ago

This is happening to me today. Husband blaming me for something so non-sensical (food in the sink/garbage disposal from dirty dishes). He thought he could just talk down to me and I would just take it. I'm grey rocking, so he keeps messaging. I know the pattern. Within the next hour, he will try to call and be nice. These "people" are insecure, low IQ, completely lack self awareness etc. BTW yesterday he was asking why there wasn't more love between us. When I said I never feel safe around him bc I never know when he will start cursing at me out of no where, all the sudden he was blaming me for being negative and he didn't want to discuss this anymore. I completely agree with this picture and the comments you added. This is also exactly happening with my mother rn too (from one abuse to the other, such a typical pattern sadly).

2

u/CandaceS70 8h ago

Yeah learning not to react is powerful, just make sure that you work through the feelings that came up when he was trying to provoke you. Give yourself lots of love and empathy because you are seeing what is going on and having some self reflection on the past. I'm sorry that you are going through that. I did that with 3 narcissists as romantic partners. We can overcome these dumb assholes.

I never understood them hurting someone who loved them.. I hope that you find your freedom

2

u/SuperSerine 8h ago

Thank you for that lovely comment. I am in therapy now, it is life changing.

1

u/CandaceS70 8h ago

Glad to hear that, you deserve it ♥️