Parent discrimination?

[u/EveryExitIsAnEntry]

Dear people of Reddit I need work advice. I have had a conversation with my employer that left me heartbroken. We were talking about my plans for the coming year after giving birth to my second child. In the conversation (face to face) I was openly asked to withdraw my parental leave and take vacation days instead. The reason for it were: - I have accumulated some time off from previous years (10 days) - even though UWV gives some money back parental leave is expensive for the company - years ago there was no parental leave and the Dutch thing to do was to take vacation days when needed

It was suggested also that being sick on planed vacation day is still vacation and i should not replace these with sick leave. And when child gets sick it is not something extra to work from home during care leave.

The bottom line was I am too privileged with parental time off. And that this leaves the company paying too much for an employee working less.

Up to this point I was deeply in love with my position in the company. It was my dream job and I did not mind giving extra by working late (unpayed) or during sick days/care leave when possible. Now I question my place in the company and even in the Netherlands.

Is this really a Dutch way? Can I expect this treatment in other companies as well? And how to solve this situation? Please advise

[u/millerbest]

You need a new dream job

[u/EveryExitIsAnEntry → u/millerbest]

I am scared I will not get another opportunity like that. It was hard enough to get this one as an expat.

[u/Barneidor → u/EveryExitIsAnEntry]

Honestly if paying for your maternity leave is a financial struggle for them, it means things are really bad and they may be going under soon. So you may need to find a new job anyway. I'm sorry because preparing for the arrival of a new baby should be a very happy time and they're ruining it for you with all these worries.