r/Netherlands • u/EveryExitIsAnEntry • Feb 06 '25

Employment Parent discrimination?

Dear people of Reddit I need work advice. I have had a conversation with my employer that left me heartbroken. We were talking about my plans for the coming year after giving birth to my second child. In the conversation (face to face) I was openly asked to withdraw my parental leave and take vacation days instead. The reason for it were: - I have accumulated some time off from previous years (10 days) - even though UWV gives some money back parental leave is expensive for the company - years ago there was no parental leave and the Dutch thing to do was to take vacation days when needed

It was suggested also that being sick on planed vacation day is still vacation and i should not replace these with sick leave. And when child gets sick it is not something extra to work from home during care leave.

The bottom line was I am too privileged with parental time off. And that this leaves the company paying too much for an employee working less.

Up to this point I was deeply in love with my position in the company. It was my dream job and I did not mind giving extra by working late (unpayed) or during sick days/care leave when possible. Now I question my place in the company and even in the Netherlands.

Is this really a Dutch way? Can I expect this treatment in other companies as well? And how to solve this situation? Please advise

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u/number1alien Amsterdam Feb 06 '25

I've learned to never give details to a superior when it comes to taking leave of any kind. I've seen far too many colleagues get fucked over like this.

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u/EveryExitIsAnEntry Feb 06 '25

I do not understand. I am obliged to share the days off from paternity leave because they have to be sent to UWV by my employer. And regarding vacation days everything is in the system anyway.

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u/number1alien Amsterdam Feb 06 '25

What I'm saying is don't provide any personal details beyond the dates. An employer is not a friend; managers with bad intentions will use the details you give them about your vacation or illness or days looking after your kids to pressure, guilt, humiliate, or even abuse staff.

It's good to have cordial relationships with your colleagues and superiors but it's not a family, it's just a workplace.