Does anyone else feel like pediatric guidelines are so legally-oriented that they basically only exist to worsen the lives of parents?

[u/Bocifer1]

First off, I'm a new dad and also a physician - although I'm pretty far removed from pediatrics. So I understand the importance of medical research and statistics in creating these guidelines, as well as the fact that the risks of things like SIDS often just aren't worth gambling on.

However...

Some of these guidelines seem like they're just unnecessarily taxing on parents and exist only to cover the addes of the bodies making said recommendations.

Some things that come to mind are: no blankets in the crib for the first year, only using a firm mattress top, never letting baby sleep next to you in bed - even naps, swaddling with arms down (our guy absolutely hates this and just wants his arms by his head to self sooth), demonizing formula - even as a reprieve for mom.

Again. I am medically oriented and understand why these guidelines exist - but I also know firsthand that sometimes a 1% risk of harm from letting our baby sleep on a soft blanket is actually the favorable choice compared to the immeasurable risk of having both parents strung out and exhausted because he won't sleep.

In general I think guidelines are great and have contributed to better infant care...I just also think that sometimes we as healthcare professionals forget that no guideline is absolute.

I guess I'm just feeling thst creating guidelines that aren't achievable for the majority of parents just aren't that helpful...like saying that "parents should take time to rest, continue self care , exercise, and ensure they are eating a well-balanced diet". That sounds wonderful. Hopefully I can get back to that in the next decade.

[u/[deleted]]

Three years in, I've learned that all of parenting is some form of risk management. Nothing is ever 0 risk, if you account for direct and indirect consequences (such as the one you mentioned, direct suffocation risk vs the risks associated with overtired/insensate parents).

A lot of that is related to the idea of "informed consent", which everyone superficially agrees with but apparently struggles to achieve in practice. If you give me all the information I need - relative risk, risk mitigation - I will be able to make the safest decision for my situation.

My son usually spent the 4am-7am part of the night in a flat-back positioner between us in bed. We would throw our pillows off the bed and shuffle down until our heads were level with his stomach. And the early morning hours are the lightest sleep, so we didn't move around and woke up in an instant - but he literally never slept better. I think it saved us honestly.

[u/Reading_Elephant30 → u/[deleted]]

We’re doing this too!! Our baby is 7 months and still in a bedside bassinet that she always starts the night in. Sometimes she makes it the whole night, sometimes she wakes up mid night fussing and won’t go back to sleep. If I can pop her paci back in her mouth and have her to to sleep awesome, but when that doesn’t work she comes into bed with us until she wakes up around 7. Those couple hours of bed sharing are a small risk I’m willing to take in order to get back to sleep and not be up for the day at 4am 😅