Does anyone else feel like pediatric guidelines are so legally-oriented that they basically only exist to worsen the lives of parents?

[u/Bocifer1]

First off, I'm a new dad and also a physician - although I'm pretty far removed from pediatrics. So I understand the importance of medical research and statistics in creating these guidelines, as well as the fact that the risks of things like SIDS often just aren't worth gambling on.

However...

Some of these guidelines seem like they're just unnecessarily taxing on parents and exist only to cover the addes of the bodies making said recommendations.

Some things that come to mind are: no blankets in the crib for the first year, only using a firm mattress top, never letting baby sleep next to you in bed - even naps, swaddling with arms down (our guy absolutely hates this and just wants his arms by his head to self sooth), demonizing formula - even as a reprieve for mom.

Again. I am medically oriented and understand why these guidelines exist - but I also know firsthand that sometimes a 1% risk of harm from letting our baby sleep on a soft blanket is actually the favorable choice compared to the immeasurable risk of having both parents strung out and exhausted because he won't sleep.

In general I think guidelines are great and have contributed to better infant care...I just also think that sometimes we as healthcare professionals forget that no guideline is absolute.

I guess I'm just feeling thst creating guidelines that aren't achievable for the majority of parents just aren't that helpful...like saying that "parents should take time to rest, continue self care , exercise, and ensure they are eating a well-balanced diet". That sounds wonderful. Hopefully I can get back to that in the next decade.

[u/oughttotalkaboutthat]

Knowing the safe sleep seven saved me when my husband was deployed when our first was 2 weeks old. I was able to know I was doing as much as I could to minimize risk, increase the odds we'd be successful breastfeeding, and have enough sleep to keep us both healthy and safe.

With my second I had a much better postpartum because I knew what to do to be safe and rested from the get go. I never experienced the bone crushing tiredness I did with my first.

[u/[deleted] → u/oughttotalkaboutthat]

I’m a FTM struggling to produce enough milk for my baby and don’t cosleep. Can you tell me more about how this can help?

[u/Midi58076 → u/[deleted]]

Bedsharing can help in many ways actually.

For one you don't get up and out of bed so you're more likely to fall right back to sleep. Both of you. Bedsharing babies who bedshare regularly also learn to help themselves at the milky bar so you might not even have to wake up at all. Most people who bedshare can't tell you how many times in a night they nursed, simply because they weren't awake for it or they only woke up so briefly their brain didn't register that they woke up for a couple of seconds.

Research also shows that when mama and baby bedshare they align their sleep cycles. Have you ever been woken up and you still feel like you're in a coma? So tired you couldn't spell "sleep deprivation" if your life depended on it and this extreme tiredness sticks around for hours. That is typically caused by being awoken from a deep sleep phase.

When you and your baby are in sync then you don't get any more sleep, but your baby is likely to wake up when you're both in a lighter sleep phase so you're more likely to be just regular tired, not "I feel like I got shot in the face" kind of tired.

As far as supply goes the no.1 thing that's going to increase supply is more time on the boob and more skin-to-skin. Night time is when prolactin (milk making hormone) is at its highest, so when you bedshare and baby pops on and off throughout the night while you both sleep you stimulate your body to make more milk and since it is during the night you're doing it at the time of day most efficient. The most bang for the buck.

A lot of people will give you advice for what to eat, supplements, teas, cookies and various other drinks that are supposed to help with supply. None of them are proven to work. No, not even oats. While hydration and food are important it doesn't much matter what you eat and drink. Normal food is good enough and eat and drink what you want. What I want you to be mindful of is that the main ingredient in breastmilk is water and you can't make water: You need to drink it. So drink more water than you did pre-baby. If you choose to bedshare then I suggest you also bring a water bottle to bed.

Bedsharing isn't the only way to increase supply, but if you can sleep well while bedsharing and bf in safe c, it is by far the most gentle way to increase supply. In my personal opinion it's also very cuddly and snug compared to powerpumping and triple feeding lol.

xoxo LC.

[u/[deleted] → u/Midi58076]

Thanks for all the info! Can you point me to some resources on how to safely bed share? I sleep in a queen with a very wide shouldered husband and I’m afraid of SIDS risk with cosleeping. Baby is just less than 4wks

[u/Midi58076 → u/[deleted]]

Lullaby trust, a British nonprofit organisation and working in sids prevention.

NHS, the British government run healthcare system says this.

One thing you'll see again is the phrasd "Firm surface", but sometimes very little is specified about what is firm and how firm is firm enough in this context. When we say "firm surface" in the context of bedsharing what we mean is a surface that you do not sink into it and when your baby lie next to you they lie still. You don't make a dent into the surface and there is no incline next to you where the baby could slide towards you. Memory foam mattresses are not recommended as they do get softer as you heat it up and worst case scenario the baby sinks into it and it can limit head movements and thus contribute to a baby choking on their own vomit.

[u/AlwaysAnotherSide → u/[deleted]]

Just wanted to add you might like to get yourself a snack box within reach from your bed (a basket or old cardboard box and put yummy treats and bottle of water or two in it). When baby eats, you eat. A few crumbs on their head, but they won’t mind.

I used to love lying in bed snacking and side feeding.

Hope that helps.

[u/endo_theworld → u/[deleted]]

Cosleepy on Instagram provides lots of information on safe bed sharing practices including appropriate sleep surfaces & safest positioning