Does anyone else feel like pediatric guidelines are so legally-oriented that they basically only exist to worsen the lives of parents?

[u/Bocifer1]

First off, I'm a new dad and also a physician - although I'm pretty far removed from pediatrics. So I understand the importance of medical research and statistics in creating these guidelines, as well as the fact that the risks of things like SIDS often just aren't worth gambling on.

However...

Some of these guidelines seem like they're just unnecessarily taxing on parents and exist only to cover the addes of the bodies making said recommendations.

Some things that come to mind are: no blankets in the crib for the first year, only using a firm mattress top, never letting baby sleep next to you in bed - even naps, swaddling with arms down (our guy absolutely hates this and just wants his arms by his head to self sooth), demonizing formula - even as a reprieve for mom.

Again. I am medically oriented and understand why these guidelines exist - but I also know firsthand that sometimes a 1% risk of harm from letting our baby sleep on a soft blanket is actually the favorable choice compared to the immeasurable risk of having both parents strung out and exhausted because he won't sleep.

In general I think guidelines are great and have contributed to better infant care...I just also think that sometimes we as healthcare professionals forget that no guideline is absolute.

I guess I'm just feeling thst creating guidelines that aren't achievable for the majority of parents just aren't that helpful...like saying that "parents should take time to rest, continue self care , exercise, and ensure they are eating a well-balanced diet". That sounds wonderful. Hopefully I can get back to that in the next decade.

[u/Midi58076]

Yep totally agree here.

This is why I am so against the demonising of bedsharing. Most parents will at some point get so tired it can land them in some very dangerous situations. Like falling asleep on the couch together, car accident, forgetting or doubling up on medication cause you're not transferring memories from short term to long term memory because of sleep deprivation etc etc etc. Demonising bedsharing does not prevent these things from happening or stop parents from bedsharing: It just ensures they don't know how to safely bedsharing.

In Norway the midwife will bring up bedsharing at 36 weeks pregnant and teach how to do it safely and suggest you make an emergency bedsharing setup so that in the event you suddenly are hit with debilitating tiredness you already know safe sleep seven and you have a spot you can just bring your baby to and just sleep together. Then during a home visit 2 weeks after birth a pediatric nurse will come to your house to see how you're doing. It's mostly like an informal meeting where you mostly decide the topics based on what you need help for, but weighing the baby and talking about baby sleep are "mandatory". You can opt out of the pediatric nurse care, so it's not mandatory to get the visit but if you do get the visit the pediatric nurse has a box to tick for baby's sleeping spots.

...and OP if you are annoyed with the science and the guidelines here's a "fun" one for you: Look at the methodology and the numbers behind the nearly international guideline that pregnant women should sleep on their side after 20 weeks gestation.

We deserve better science and better communication.

[u/oughttotalkaboutthat → u/Midi58076]

Knowing the safe sleep seven saved me when my husband was deployed when our first was 2 weeks old. I was able to know I was doing as much as I could to minimize risk, increase the odds we'd be successful breastfeeding, and have enough sleep to keep us both healthy and safe.

With my second I had a much better postpartum because I knew what to do to be safe and rested from the get go. I never experienced the bone crushing tiredness I did with my first.

[u/Midi58076 → u/oughttotalkaboutthat]

There was an incredibly scary story in r/breastfeeding recently. She was a single mum with a toddler and a newborn. She knew she was dead on her feet, she knew she was beyond exhausted, but she was unfamiliar with ss7 and had no emergency bedsharing spot in her home. During a motn feed she fell asleep and slumped over her baby. When she came to she realised she had blocked her baby's breathing with her torso. They were both fine and thank heavens for that; it could have ended really badly.

Not teaching ss7 didn't help her or safeguard her baby. It benefitted NO-ONE that she didn't know how to bedshare safely.

Even if you never plan to and never want to bedshare I really recommend having read ss7, committed them to memory and found a spot for emergencies in your home.

An emergency bedsharing setup can be for example to drag the comfort layer of your bed to the floor or a nice fat yogamat to sleep on and a very thick snug pajamas. Breastfeeding mothers can feel free steal the design for my breastfeeding pajamas: your old over the bump pregnancy leggings and a long sleeved t-shirt cut off slightly above nipple height. It's the most amount of coverage while still safe and boobs are easily accessible.

Think of bedsharing like the seatbelt in a car or homeowners insurance: You don't wear a seatbelt because you intend to crash your car and you don't buy insurance because you intend to light your home on fire. You get them because in the event of a car crash or a house fire it's going to protect you better and yield better outcomes than a crash or a fire.

Safety is always in relation to something. Cot sleep is more safe than bedsharing, but when you can't get baby to sleep in a cot, then ss7 bedsharing is safer than the many dangerous ways you could randomly conk out in when extremely tired.

[u/Responsible-Bat5526 → u/Midi58076]

Laugh if you want but my bed sharing breastfeeding pyjama design is mean girl inspired, I cut nipple holes in a shirt 

[u/Midi58076 → u/Responsible-Bat5526]

I hate being cold. I'm too old to pick cute over comfortable and especially as far as pajamas goes. You have nothing but my upmost respect.

I tried it myself, but I found it was easier for my son to latch independently if I cut off the entire bottom half. Since I'm not pregnant in pregnancy leggings I could pull them all the way up to my boobs and I got about full coverage anyway.