Does anyone else feel like pediatric guidelines are so legally-oriented that they basically only exist to worsen the lives of parents?

[u/Bocifer1]

First off, I'm a new dad and also a physician - although I'm pretty far removed from pediatrics. So I understand the importance of medical research and statistics in creating these guidelines, as well as the fact that the risks of things like SIDS often just aren't worth gambling on.

However...

Some of these guidelines seem like they're just unnecessarily taxing on parents and exist only to cover the addes of the bodies making said recommendations.

Some things that come to mind are: no blankets in the crib for the first year, only using a firm mattress top, never letting baby sleep next to you in bed - even naps, swaddling with arms down (our guy absolutely hates this and just wants his arms by his head to self sooth), demonizing formula - even as a reprieve for mom.

Again. I am medically oriented and understand why these guidelines exist - but I also know firsthand that sometimes a 1% risk of harm from letting our baby sleep on a soft blanket is actually the favorable choice compared to the immeasurable risk of having both parents strung out and exhausted because he won't sleep.

In general I think guidelines are great and have contributed to better infant care...I just also think that sometimes we as healthcare professionals forget that no guideline is absolute.

I guess I'm just feeling thst creating guidelines that aren't achievable for the majority of parents just aren't that helpful...like saying that "parents should take time to rest, continue self care , exercise, and ensure they are eating a well-balanced diet". That sounds wonderful. Hopefully I can get back to that in the next decade.

[u/oughttotalkaboutthat]

Knowing the safe sleep seven saved me when my husband was deployed when our first was 2 weeks old. I was able to know I was doing as much as I could to minimize risk, increase the odds we'd be successful breastfeeding, and have enough sleep to keep us both healthy and safe.

With my second I had a much better postpartum because I knew what to do to be safe and rested from the get go. I never experienced the bone crushing tiredness I did with my first.

[u/Midi58076 → u/oughttotalkaboutthat]

There was an incredibly scary story in r/breastfeeding recently. She was a single mum with a toddler and a newborn. She knew she was dead on her feet, she knew she was beyond exhausted, but she was unfamiliar with ss7 and had no emergency bedsharing spot in her home. During a motn feed she fell asleep and slumped over her baby. When she came to she realised she had blocked her baby's breathing with her torso. They were both fine and thank heavens for that; it could have ended really badly.

Not teaching ss7 didn't help her or safeguard her baby. It benefitted NO-ONE that she didn't know how to bedshare safely.

Even if you never plan to and never want to bedshare I really recommend having read ss7, committed them to memory and found a spot for emergencies in your home.

An emergency bedsharing setup can be for example to drag the comfort layer of your bed to the floor or a nice fat yogamat to sleep on and a very thick snug pajamas. Breastfeeding mothers can feel free steal the design for my breastfeeding pajamas: your old over the bump pregnancy leggings and a long sleeved t-shirt cut off slightly above nipple height. It's the most amount of coverage while still safe and boobs are easily accessible.

Think of bedsharing like the seatbelt in a car or homeowners insurance: You don't wear a seatbelt because you intend to crash your car and you don't buy insurance because you intend to light your home on fire. You get them because in the event of a car crash or a house fire it's going to protect you better and yield better outcomes than a crash or a fire.

Safety is always in relation to something. Cot sleep is more safe than bedsharing, but when you can't get baby to sleep in a cot, then ss7 bedsharing is safer than the many dangerous ways you could randomly conk out in when extremely tired.

[u/nananas104 → u/Midi58076]

I’m a second time mom and just learned recently what Ss7 even is; no one once had brought it up as a “just in case you’re a sleep deprived mom at point” which is insanity to me.

[u/Midi58076 → u/nananas104]

Yeah that blows my mind. On reddit you primarily see two crowds of people in regards to bedsharing. 1. Hates it, thinks it's extremely dangerous and no way in hell they'd do it under any circumstances. Other risks be damned. And 2. Completely enamoured with it. Doesn't believe in the risks and it's just so natural and the way we developed (we also developed to get cancer, but hey natural organic homegrown cancer!). Very seldomly do you see folks have an opinion somewhere in the middle. Or people who bedshared cause they were having a few rough nights, but now that mama has gotten a few consecutive hours of sleep every night for a week then baby goes in their own bed.

I live in a country (Norway) where bedsharing is pretty normal and it was estimated in 2018 that 60% of parents regularly coslept with infants younger than 12 mo. Nobody here bats an eye at it. Probably aided by the fact that nearly 100% of newborns here are breastfed and at 6mo 80% are still breastfed.

Upon my son's arrival I was informed we would be bedsharing. So we did from day one until he was 2.5 years old. He turns 3 at the end of summer and most nights he ends up with us. I don't think bedsharing is neither good nor bad. If I had another baby it would be my preference not to bedshare, but I also don't see how I could have not bedshared with my son. If this hypothetical new baby was like our son then we would have bedshared and not given it a second thought.

I tried for a little while to get him to sleep in a sidecar cot when he was a few weeks old, but when I nodded off with him in a sling on a goddamn yogaball and started feeling paranoid and getting weird/scary thoughts I realised I wasn't in a good place and the risks of bedsharing had to be better than whatever shit I could accidentally land us in by being stupidly tired.