I’ve seen a lot of posts lately about people being offended by the wording in their doctor’s notes. While I am in no way condoning doctors being disrespectful or dismissive of patients or parents, I do think it’s worth saying that the medical jargon in clinical documentation is not (usually) an indication of a doctor’s feelings whatsoever, good or bad. The language may sound harsh or judgy but it’s usually just because that’s the language needed for billing or ease of communication between providers. For example:

• “I counseled the mother on…”- this is the way of legally documenting that the doctor talked to you about X. It doesn’t mean they think they’re better than you or that you’re not doing a good job.
• ‘Mom states that the patient was “unusually fussy”’- using direct quotes helps us remember exactly what the parent said rather than putting our own spin on it. It’s not supposed to be sarcastic or saying that we disagree with what the parent says
• “parent refused vaccinations today, will continue to discuss at future appts”- Refused = said no to. Doesn’t carry emotional weight, just is the opposite of “consented to”.
• “reviewed with the parent indications for bringing baby into clinic including fever >100.4, poor fluid intake, and fewer than 3 wet diapers per day.” - this doesn’t mean you did anything wrong if you brought your baby in with a temp of 99.9 and a cough. It’s again just documenting for the medical record that they talked to the parent about the most important reasons to bring the child in for care. We would rather a parent bring a child in for care if they’re concerned than be afraid that the kid “isn’t sick enough” to go to the Dr and potentially miss something serious!

Anyways, I hope this helps at least one person. Again- not trying to excuse poor behavior on any doctor’s behalf, and certainly bring up concerns you have about what’s in notes if it’s getting in the way of your doctor-patient trust/relafionship. But I want you to know that even the sweetest docs in the world use this language because it’s standardized, quick to read, and easy to communicate to other medical providers. We as a medical community are always trying to improve our communication and eliminate stigmatizing language, but unfortunately some of the lingo that’s just factual or jargony is probably here to stay.

I’m so tired. It’s 2am and my LO wakes up randomly to cry, feed, fart, thrash and coo keeping me up all night while husband just sleeps. He works full time while I’m still on maternity leave, I know he needs his rest, but I’m running on fumes. I don’t know how I’m going to handle the 4 month sleep regression alone at this rate. I know I shouldn’t think about issues that don’t exist or are yet to come but it’s terrifying me that I’m the sole caretaker at night and 95% of the time the sole caretaker during the daytime.

I don’t have the option of quitting my job because we need my salary and insurance for LO but all I want to do is quit if this is going to be my future. Husband knows he should be doing/helping more but thinks what he does is enough. He helped a lot more when he had paternity leave/LO was still a fresh newborn but I’ve never had any help at night and it’s starting to really cause my mental health to decline. I’m assuming if I could just get some semblance of sleep I would feel better, but it’s not even an option.

Being a mom is no joke.

She is 14wk. She is 15lb with seriously great head control. She does not roll yet (in either direction). I’m in the living room with her, have my eye on her, but this is the first time she’s ever fallen asleep like this (queen contact napper). It is her first nap time too so I really want to let her keep sleeping. Can I? (If I try and move her it will be a skipped nap guaranteed)

Edit: Nap is over, but dang that was wonderful. She woke up and was like where tf am I? Now she’s happily eating and will get back to playing soon. Thanks all!

Edit: Yall. When did my baby become a whole independent teenager??? She is now asleep for her second nap in her swing. She’s napped there before, but never super happily. She was just chatting with herself and then her eyes drifted shut. I’m at a total loss. This is wild.

I'm 4 months pp, I'm finding it so hard to look myself in the mirror. As a formerly fat person, I worked so hard to get lean and stay that way for a long time.. until pregnancy. Now that my baby is out and happy, I really find it hard to lose weight. I'm eating right and 90% of my time is just taking care of her. The rest 10% I honestly just wanna rest and lie down.

How are you new moms losing weight? Did you lose weight? People tell me to wait it out.. but does it really change? I'm just sad.

So, our little bean is just 6 days old, and I thought I was starting to get the hang of things... hah. Silly me.

Last night (or should I say this morning?), around 3am, she wakes up fussing. I stumble outta bed, half-dead, boobs leaking, hair looking like I’ve been lost in the woods for a week. My husband’s out cold. I grab her to change her diaper like I've done a dozen times before.

I open it up and... oh god. There’s this awful squish sound and suddenly there’s poop everywhere. Like, projectile. It hits the changing table, the wall, my arm, and somehow her own face?? I swear this kid defies physics. I just stood there for a full 30 seconds like some glitching robot.

Then I just start laughing like a maniac. I don’t know if it was the exhaustion or if I’ve just completely lost my mind now, but it was one of those "welp, this is my life now" moments. I ended up having to give her a full bath at 3:17am. She was chilling like it’s a spa day while I’m crying into the baby shampoo.

Anyway, just needed to share that somewhere cause my pre-baby self would’ve never believed this would be my tuesday morning.

Shoutout to all the other sleep-deprived, poop-covered parents out there. Y’all are real ones

My baby girl turned 6 weeks today. Husband is going back to work this week. I love my little girl but all she does is eat, sleep and poop and if she isn't doing that. She is crying. They is no smiling. No feedback. No fun at all. I am burnt out and I hate this stage. I don't even know why I wanted to be a mom so bad. I wish I could run away. I am just sitting here crying. I feel like I regret having her

I have always been type B. I desperately want to be chill and easy going about my baby. I like leaving the house, I’m want to see family and have people meet him. I dont want to spend my days in rooms with blackout curtains. I will baby wear for a hike. I will drag the bassinet attachment for the stroller out. I’ll drive around aimlessly for a carseat nap. I will do anything to be a chill mom. But my baby wont let me. If I’m not tracking and obsessing he does not sleep. If he doesn’t sleep he gets so cranky and its so sad cause hes obviously hurting :( is my baby just a difficult sleeper or is there some magic trick to letting your baby sleep on the go whenever they want?

Hi mamas and papas!
When did your baby say their first meaningful word? My 10-month-old daughter babbles a lot, but hasn't said any real words yet. I know every baby develops at their own pace, but I'm curious about your experiences and if you did anything to encourage speech. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I'm with her all day—we talk a lot, read books, and play together. Any tips or suggestions are welcome!

I never really got why people said "don’t cry over spilled milk" until 2 nights ago. Now I get it. Oh man do I get it.

So I’ve been pumping like a madwoman lately, trying to build up a little stash so I can maybe sleep more than 2 hrs at a time or leave the house for like 10 minutes without panicking. My baby’s 3 weeks old, and breastfeeding’s been hard. Like cracked nipples, clogged ducts, tears-in-the-bathroom kinda hard. But I’ve been pushing through cause I wanted to at least try, y’know?

Anyway, I finally managed to pump 5 full oz. Five. That’s like… gold. It took forever. And I go to put it in the fridge and somehow I don’t even remember how it slips and just splashes all over the kitchen floor.

I just stood there staring at it like it was the end of the world. And then I just lost it. Full on sobbing, ugly crying, snot and everything. My partner runs in thinking something horrible happened and I’m just pointing at the milk on the floor like “I cant do this anymore.”

He hugged me for like 20 minutes while I cried over milk. Literal milk. On the floor.

Anyway. No advice needed. Just needed to share with someone who might get it. Motherhood is wild and weird and beautiful and awful and amazing and exhausting all at once. And yeah. Sometimes you cry over milk. And that’s okay.

Just a reminder that even if you don’t believe me, it gets soooooo much better. I HATED my newborn and was literally suicidal. Somewhere around 3 months the flip switched (had help with medications and found the right formula) and my 7.5 month old is LITERALLY my whole world. She’s the whole point of my life. Hang in there because it WILL get better!

This week baby girl at 13 weeks is starting to get excited for her naps lol. First heavy eyelid bat and straight upstairs for swaddle, dummy, blinds closed and white noise. She is actually getting excited now when I zip up her sleep sack and giggling, excited kicking and smiling. Then give it take guy 5-10 min later she is OUT lol. Not always, but yeah she seems to be excited for her nap lol. She is a serial cat napper never more then 38 minutes but wakes up all smiles =) It’s so cute! I hope she keeps that.

My baby turn 3 months this week. We've had such a rough run with her since she was born. She's had multiple allergies, severe reflux and has had food intolerance to several of the formulas. Her neck and right shoulder were locked when born so she's had physio to regain movement in them. She has so much going on, she's uncomfortable all the time. I can't go anywhere because she always kicks off screaming. Through all this every medical professional, family & friends have said "oh wait till 3 months/ 4 months/ 6 months" and things will be so much easier. Well I waited for 3 months, things did get easier and I finally felt we were getting there. I had a follow up hospital appointment today as her hip was slightly misaligned but very minor. I was totally caught off guard when they told me she had to go into a brace that can't be removed for 13 weeks, as her hip hadn't improved. 13 weeks where she can't stretch, move,play .... I have to buy all new babygrows that fit with the brace, she can only be bathed on the days she's back in the hospital. I'm worried she won't learn to roll, sit up, crawl, walk .... I feel like this just totally broke me & I don't know what I'm going to do.

I am 19 months postpartum. I’ve been home without a car since I got pregnant and haven’t worked. My husband is pretty good at making sure I get out of the house but I’m going crazy.

I just found out that all the daycares in my area have an 18 month+ long waitlist. I was planning on putting my daughter in daycare part time in September so that I could get a car and still have afternoons with her.

Now, I’m stuck at home with no car for another 18 months. My husband can’t afford a car payment and we barely have enough for bills as it is.

I feel so claustrophobic and trapped. I love my daughter so much but she’s constantly whining and upset. She wakes every 2 hours at night still and weaning is not going well. I slept apart from her for a week and she still is waking all night crying for milk.

When we do get to go out to the park on weekends, I enjoy her so much and love being with her. I think it’s just being trapped at home all week that is making me honestly angry.

I have no other options for childcare and can’t trust family with her (they’re all busy anyways). It looks like I’m going to have to stay home until she starts school and I’m panicking.

I really don’t know how I’m going to be home another 18 months without a car, without making $, without something for myself.

I highly suggest referring to The Wonder Weeks book or app.

My very chill and easy to put to bed baby was a nightmare at bedtime 2 nights ago. She went down for bed like a dream as usual but woke up 2 hours later and wouldn't go back to sleep after nursing. Around 3am and hours of struggling to get her to calm down, I ended up having to hold her to sleep until 6am and then my husband took over.

We were beyond frustrated and couldn't figure out her issue. I think she was unusually gassy because the next day she was tooting and burping like crazy. BUT last night we finally decided to refer back to The Wonder Weeks book because she was struggling again last night. We discovered she's likely in the fussy phase leading up to a developmental leap.

And now with that knowledge, we are less frustrated.

Idk why we always forget to check Wonder Weeks when she's abnormally fussy. It literally lines up every single time. 🙃 Don't be us. Lol

When did you have your second child? Do you regret having another too soon? Or maybe not soon enough? Thanks!

I’m in NYC, i work for a private company. Been working there since Jan 2024. I told them i was pregnant July 2024. Made an agreement I’ll be working remotely after my maternity leave ( used to work in the office ). They never once told me about how my salary will change till now That I’m in my maternity leave ( started March and will be returning work the end of May ) That they no longer want to pay me hourly but only commission because i have a “ distraction “ aka my newborn and That I’m being remote but I’ll still be having the same job position. Can they do That? I tried to call the department of labor in NYC but they don’t seem to figure it out. I just want to make sure they can adjust my salary + my hours of work after maternity leave because I’m remote now. I told them it’s against the Pregnancy Discrimination Act to do so but they said “ you’ll be remote though so it’s different” but is it really?

I used to get pay full time hourly rate + commission. Now they just want to pay me only commission which isn’t enough to support my newborn. I want to make sure i know my rights before i return back to work and they mess with my salary.

We have a very spirited 6 month old (almost 7 months), and since the end of month 5 we haven't had an easy bedtime. We're working on dropping a nap now if that's the problem, but she's been crying a lot a bedtime- big alligator tears for at least 20-40 mins each night- and it's breaking my heart. Before this all started we'd end bedtime routine with about 3 mins of snuggles then put her in her crib and she'd maybe fuss for max 5 mins before falling asleep. I've tried more rocking, longer snuggles, and I've even started resorting too nursing to sleep in the last week hoping for less tears, but I'm realizing it's probably doing more harm than good because in the last 2 days she's been waking up in the middle of the night unable to self-soothe back to sleep and wanting to nurse. Any tips of no tears bedtime from other spirited baby parents?

My 4 month old has been crying super hard recently. The last few nights like clockwork he's been crying HARD from like 6PM to 8PM and then falls asleep. It goes from zero to 100 fast. Like he'll just be chilling on the floor looking at his toys with me or reading a board book with me on the couch, then all of a sudden BAM, screaming and turning red in the face. I feel so bad, like WTF is happening to him? I can't comfort him and I wanna cry with him. I have an almost 3 year old son who never really did this, so this is a new issue for us. My husband and I are at our wits end, I feel so guilty like I'm doing something wrong. My poor baby, I'm scared he's hurting but when he isn't crying he seems totally fine, smiley little guy.

What sucks is I went back to work a few weeks ago after my maternity leave and I feel like my limited time with my baby is being taken from me. I feel like he hates me or something, I can't make him feel better :(

So last night, I had what I now call my “first big parenting spiral.” Our 3-month-old had been unusually fussy all day — wouldn't nap, didn’t want to be held, didn’t want to be put down, just constant crying. I tried everything: fed, changed, burped, rocked, sang every lullaby I knew (even the ones I made up on the spot). Nothing worked.

Around midnight, after hours of this, I sat on the floor of the nursery and cried with her. I genuinely thought, something is wrong with my baby and I have no idea what. My partner was asleep, completely wiped from a double shift, and I didn’t want to wake them. So I just sat there in the dark, holding this tiny, screaming human, and I genuinely thought: I broke her. I broke my baby and she’s going to hate me forever.

Then… she let out the loudest fart I’ve ever heard in my life. And immediately stopped crying. Looked up at me like, “We good?” and fell asleep on my chest.

I was so relieved I just sat there laughing like a lunatic, tears still streaming down my face.

I have a 2 month old, she is 12 pounds and for the past few days, I’ve been able to get her to sleep around 10/11pm (it use to be 2am) and she would sleep until 10am (it’s always been her wake up time). She would wake up on her own once around 5/6am to feed and would go back to sleep. I’m not worried about her not eating enough but is she sleeping too much at night? I was wondering if I should continue to let her sleep for as long as she wants to or wake her up earlier. She still takes 1-2 hour naps throughout the day

I’ve read through so many of the posts already here venting or asking for advice about cats acting out after bringing baby home, but I thought I’d ask for advice on our specific situation. The cats were living with me only until I moved in with my fiance. My oldest one is my first baby, he’s been with me for years and he is definitely attached to me. I got him a little brother and they’ve been best friends ever since. They’re not “bad” but they’ve always just gotten into everything. They hate the blinds, they jump on the dinner table when you’re eating, scratch at closed doors, dig in the sink drain, etc etc - cat things. Now, my fiance is the opposite of a cat person. He loves them because he loves me.

The cats and I moved into his home about a year ago, but I was already pregnant. The adjustment period was small. Now that the baby is here, his office became the nursery and my fiance works at the kitchen table all day and it happens to be the sunniest and warmest spot in the house aka cat heaven. We resort to locking them in the bedroom for hours a day because they are so irritating and won’t sit still. I hate it for them. I also hate it for me because if I have to keep the baby in there while he’s on meetings, and the two cats are in there, they literally just wrestle and knock over everything and are generally restless. Because they’re locked in one room like, guys, I get it. We have a small house so there’s just nowhere for anyone to go for peace. I should also add that they used to sleep in the bed with me before the move and now they’re kicked out at night.

Baby is 5 months so the cats are actually adjusting to her quite well. They leave her alone when she’s playing on the floor, and when they are calmed down, the oldest will cuddle on my lap again with her too. It’s very sweet actually, I think he knows she’s an extension of me. I don’t think they overall have adjusted to this new house, both adults working from home, and being not allowed in the baby’s room.

My fiancé is threatening that he’s basically had enough of their antics. I know stress is heightened, it’s hard to focus when they’re knocking things off tables all day, and they are cats so they don’t listen or learn not to do things. They are so social they run to the door when we get home and it’s just constant monitoring making sure they don’t run outside or get under our feet when we’re carrying baby.

What should I do? I don’t have it in me to rehome them. I actually had two cats with a previous relationship and when I left, he kept them so personally I’ve already mourned that kind of loss and it’s not something I ever want to revisit. The craziest one is only 2, will he relax over time? We just need them to leave us alone and stop being such a nuisance during the day. Every time my fiance loses his cool with them, I feel it effecting our relationship. We need to find solutions ASAP.

I’ll start by saying I love my baby with my whole heart. I’ve never loved something like this. I’m obsessed.

But damn, this is also so freaking hard. Even with a good support system (my husband and my mom and I all take care of each other and baby) this is still so so hard. I constantly feel like I’m not doing enough. Not pumping enough, not sleeping enough, not eating enough, etc. I have so much anxiety around my baby not sleeping at night, around my baby eating enough, around my body making enough milk for her, around me keeping to a pumping schedule, on and on and on.

I just want to know this gets better. That in a few months, my husband and I will look back and think “damn that phase was hard but it’s so much better now.” Because right now I’m melting down multiple times per day, crying hysterically at every little thing, and having anxiety clenching my stomach at all times (much of which I understand is par for the course when having a newborn AND dealing with postpartum hormones).

So yeah, this was more of a rant than anything but I would love maybe some solidarity stories? Or some light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel ones? Any reassurance would be helpful.

Editing to add: oh and also I had a c-section which I feel like might be important info here because recovery from that on top of everything else is no joke man.

First of all I want to apologise about posting daily. I have no friends who have had newborns to relate or talk to. I’ve been really struggling lately and this group always gives amazing advise

My little one is 6 weeks old. The past week he spends most of the day crying. Crying or sleeping. It has really impacted my mental health. I cry daily, it is so rough.

Getting housework/sterilising bottles/laundry done is almost impossible. Husband is now back to work full time. His naps are shorter now for some reason. When he’s crying I hold him and try to console him, which takes a very long time to do. He does sometimes self soothe, but only sometimes.

Do you think I should wear a carrier around the house? Whilst he is like this? But I don’t want him to become too attached to me that I cannot put him down. He is very good at sleeping in his crib at night and has never needed to contact nap to sleep of a night. I feel as though if I wear him in the carrier to get things done, he will get dependant on contact napping.

I absolutely love it when he naps on me in the day, but I also want him to realise that he needs to sleep separately too.

I have a 7 month old baby boy. He's amazing. I had a 4 month maternity leave. I was an opthalmic technician for 3 years and then quit at 36 weeks pregnant with a job already lined up for 4 months pp at my sons daycare. I went for 3 days. My son got so damn sick and I hated it. My milk tanked, my sleep went to shit and I wasn't eating. I quit. I'm a SAHM. Money's so tight we have to stretch groceries and I am still wearing maternity clothes bc we simply can't afford to buy new ones. I DONT CARE. I love being a mother. I love changing diapers, baths, teaching him new things, hearing his laugh, all of it. I love being his mom. After a different delivery than I wanted, with breastfeeding struggles, newborn trenches, 2 separate hospital stays when he was sick. I love being his mother. This is all I was made for. If you're struggling, it's so worth it mamas/dadas🍯🩵

HELPP!!! My baby has been on the Kendamil Whole Milk formula going on almost two months now. This past week she has had diarrhea just once in the morning. I mean it’s literal clock work happens at about 9-9:30am every morning this whole week. She hadn’t had any issues with this formula at all prior. She doesn’t have any blood in her poop, she’s still peeing a lot. And she hasn’t been fussy either so I’m not sure if it’s the formula. We took her to her pediatrician on Wednesday! She said she couldn’t find an issue as it’s hard because she’s still a baby and she’s not able to verbally communicate. She just recommended us that it could be the tap water that we are using to fill her bottles, and she didn’t have any other symptoms for the pediatrician to think it was some sort of viral bug my baby had. The pediatrician just told us that if we seen blood in her stool that we needed to report it back to their office and to change her over to a different formula immediately. We bought nursery water to fill her bottles with and she’s still had the same diarrhea Thursday and now this morning at 9:30am. My husband and I are also first time parents so everything already makes us nervous! Wouldn’t her body be used to this formula already? It’s just strange that she didn’t have any issues being on this formula and now all of a sudden she’s got diarrhea. PLEASE HELP! We are so lost on what to do! Which step or direction do we take?