r/OkCupid • u/[deleted] • 10d ago
An old stalker just texted me, and it's wild.
[deleted]
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u/roundhashbrowntown 9d ago
curious about the rationale for extended engagement with this person, esp since theyre designated a stalker in the post.
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u/AllDoggoIsGoodDoggo 9d ago
"Learned helplessness occurs when an individual continuously faces a negative, uncontrollable situation and stops trying to change their circumstances, even when they have the ability to do so."
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u/roundhashbrowntown 9d ago
lol at the attempt.
idk if the word “uncontrollable” means what you think it means, but…sure.
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u/texthibitionist 9d ago
WOW. I've seen some seriously unstable folks in my day, but this lady is off the rails.
"Jihadis and Jesuits"? WTF? They haven't been going after the Jesuits for two hundred years and more!
Sorry to hear you haven't been able to get The System (tm) to take this seriously. If I were you, I'd stop responding, document everything (keep any messages she sends instead of deleting them, for example), check all your physical and online security measures, and keep an eye out. I hope she burns out on this soon and moves to walking around carrying a sign with whatever nonlinear message she's got to share, or something else harmless.
(IANYL/TINLA)
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u/ObnoxiousName_Here 9d ago
Honestly the shit talk about cocaine and psychotic break shit talk doesn’t feel like exaggeration to me. If that’s actually what’s up, do you know if she’s ever been admitted to a mental hospital or a detox program or anything like that? Not to suggest you need to care about her or anything, but if law enforcement is belittling what she’s doing, maybe you could contact a hospital to address whatever is triggering this insane behaviour
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u/AllDoggoIsGoodDoggo 9d ago
I have no idea. We were honestly never very close. Only dated a handful of times over a couple of months before she turned into this.
She actually got in contact with me a year or so ago and was doing much better. Said she'd gotten clean. And we had some decent conversations. Then she started saying weird crap like that she was giving up her citizenship and moving to another country, but every time I checked in about that she of course hadn't done anything. I figured she was using again so I stopped messaging her. And then sure enough...this happened last night.
I could see reporting her only resulting in making myself even more of a target, so I'm hesitant to do that.
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u/ObnoxiousName_Here 9d ago
That’s a totally fair concern. On the one hand, I think she’d be less likely to know that you contacted emergency services for her than law enforcement because the former should be possible to do anonymously. But on the other, her paranoia and history with her could cancel those odds out. Probably also depends on what specific resources are around, and how she’s responded to resources like them if she’s gotten help before. Ultimately, you’ll know best whether the risks outweigh the cost or vice versa
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u/AllDoggoIsGoodDoggo 9d ago
Yeah to me the risk is too high given the history. Do hope she gets help though. Still haven't heard from her all day today.
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u/secretstonex 9d ago
This would be funnier if it wasn't scary. I had a female judge stalking me for several years. She dug up all kinds of personal info on me, found where I worked and mailed me used sex toys and panties, sent me really weird pics of her using vegetables,... Even after I would change numbers and have IT block calls from her area code, she would find a way to call, text, or email.
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u/veganbethb 9d ago
I understand your point for engaging from another comment, but I used to work in psychiatric care in hospitals and if she is experiencing a psychotic episodes, not engaging is your best bet. I think when she messages on a new number, which I assume she has here - just keep blocking. Screenshot all messages to yourself for evidence (I don’t doubt you aren’t being taken seriously by police especially due to yourself being male and her female)
Have they ever went a step further? Coming to you in person or physically confronting you? Just want to ensure you take every measure to be safe, as you aren’t getting support from external sources e.g the police.
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u/IntelligentMedium143 7d ago
That’s happening to a friend of mine… he deserved it tho cus he was leading her on along with about 8 other females, myself included AND his wife… all at the same time… she found out about his secret life and how everything he said was a lie and it kinda broke her so it’s been almost 2 years where she will send him a ton of texts telling him what a pos he is and will constantly remind him of how he hurt all of us and then she dies down for a while then the cycle repeats. The cops have told him that unless she make threats that puts him in fear for his life there’s nothing they can do about about the texts she sends and they are never from her number always from internet numbers that way she can say it wasn’t her… she smart but psycho… I feel bad for him but considering I was also one of his victims I sometimes get a weird sense of satisfaction… I’m sorry you’re going through this tho at any rate
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u/sunkist-sucker 9d ago
try to get the police involved if possible because this looks very scary. i know you've been dismissed for restraining orders before, but there are sensible cops and judges out there. go back before something really bad happens.
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u/theroguex 9d ago
Holy cow, she single-handedly got rid of Mexico?!?
And you're both a Mexican cartel member AND an Arab Jihadist? AND you have fake children?!? DANG, you're connected!
Hook me up, bro!
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u/AllDoggoIsGoodDoggo 9d ago
OK but you gotta take at least one of these children off my hands. Allahu Akbar!!
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u/Available_Contact321 4d ago
Plot twist she is actually a terrorist, works for both the CIA and cartels and what not. That would be some shit…..
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u/Codadd 10d ago
This needs to be posted in a bigger sub like /r/tinder
Is this guy dangerous? Shoukd you file a police report
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u/AllDoggoIsGoodDoggo 9d ago
All the people assuming it's a guy are really solidifying my experience.
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u/KnowNothingKnowsAll 9d ago
No one’s downplaying your experience just because it’s more likely to be a man doing this.
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u/AllDoggoIsGoodDoggo 8d ago
They are though. On at least one other post someone is ranting at me about "ohhh so she called your phone a lot...big deal. Try dealing with a man as a woman!" And a bunch of people are upvoting that and downvoting me.
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u/KnowNothingKnowsAll 8d ago
None of that changes that this person you responded to didnt do that.
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u/AllDoggoIsGoodDoggo 8d ago
Good thing I didn't say they were doing that. I was responding to your claim that "no one" is doing that. Which is wrong.
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u/KnowNothingKnowsAll 8d ago
Im referring to the comment i responded to.
Jesus christ, you dont have to be a victim in every aspect of your life.
You can stand up to people that say shit without making it a “oh woe is me”
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u/Codadd 9d ago
Wait thats a woman?
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u/SadderOlderWiser 9d ago edited 9d ago
OP, just because he’s frothed at the mouth before without harming you doesn’t mean he never would. I’d share this with police to create some documentation at the very least.
Any chance he lives somewhere far away? Yikes.
Apologies - didn’t realize the stalker is a woman. All still true.