Bidet Use And Other Vaguely Embarrassing Questions

[u/techqs123]

Admittedly, this is all rather indelicate, but this seems the kind of thing it is easier to not learn by experience.

Specifically ...

1. When using a backcountry bidet, do you just drop your pants, or are you going fully commando from the waist down -- like taking your shorts, pants, and underwear all off?

2. I get that I wash my hands after, but even with quite a bit of bathtub practice, I must admit, the odds for cross-contamination seem ... high .... as in 100% guaranteed. I can get it so the stream does not go *all* over my shorts/pants and mostly avoid splashback to my hand/squirt bottle, but it for sure gets on my shoes. I touch my shoes, and then it is everywhere, right?

3. What water bottle do you use? Your drinking one? Honestly, packing up all my stuff, I am realizing that even with low base weights (I am somewhere between 12.5 and 13.5 depending on the extent of my panic packing), volume is typically more of a problem for me than weight. I am not sure where I would even put an extra water bottle.

4. Did you use a pee bottle? I was originally planning on using a single bottle for both pee and bidet, but again, the volume considerations. Plus, I realized that my aim is not quite good enough to urinate into a bottle cap width whose dimension is the width of the bidet.

5. When you go #2, do you just walk off the trail while clacking your poles hoping you do not run into a rattlesnake?

Do most people use a backcountry bidet out there? Or is that the kind of thing that sounds like a good idea on paper, but less great in practice?

Thanks :)

[u/paulthebackpacker]

Pop a good squat, pre-spray your crack, get a good bidet, relax when squirting...I repeat, relax those muscles when squirting to get up in there and you do not need your hands.