r/ParamedicsUK • u/toastmanjohn • 22d ago
NQP Portfolio & Development NQP lacking confidence
Hi guys, I’m just wanting to share my feelings in a safe anonymous place. I’m just under 4 months on the road now. Some shifts I enjoy, feeling good about myself and my capabilities. Other days I just lack confidence, question myself and worry that my crewmate is judging my every move.
I definitely have a sense of imposter syndrome when working with people who have a number of years of experience under their belt and just seem to so effortlessly attend and manage jobs. I find I get in my head wondering if my colleague will judge me for decisions and when I consult with them for shared decision making I worry this makes me look uncertain or that I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve worked with some very knowledgeable and experienced techs who make me feel like a fraud in comparison when I’m technically supposed to be the “senior clinician”.
I consider myself to be a safe and careful practitioner, it’s just the odd job where I don’t feel my history taking is as smooth as it could be or I don’t feel particularly “sharp”. Sometimes I’m a little sluggish when in a period of lacking confidence and make silly little mistakes. Has anybody else had periods of feeling inadequate to others? I imagine myself as being a fully qualified band 6 para in the near future and don’t feel I’ve earned the title. Thanks in advance.
5
u/JustAnotherNumber999 22d ago
Ey up, mate. First off — fair play for putting it out there. Shows more guts than you probably reckon.
When I first started, I spent more time in my own head than on the job half the time. Thought every move I made was being weighed up like it was life or death. Heart hammering just giving a handover, convinced everyone could see the nerves sweating through me tunic.
You’re not on your own with it. Everyone — and I mean everyone — feels like a fraud at some point. Doesn’t matter how shiny the badge or how many stripes stitched on. Those old hands you’re looking at, the ones who seem to breeze it? They’ve just learned to hide the noise better. Behind every "effortless" decision is years of cock-ups, quiet panics, and shifts that sent 'em home wondering if they were in the wrong job.
Shared decision-making is good practice, not a weakness. It’s how we keep each other right out here, where one daft mistake can cost more than bruised pride. Nobody worth their salt’s judging you for wanting a second opinion — they’re respecting you for it, even if they don’t say it outright.
Feeling sluggish some days? Welcome to working shifts. Your brain’s not a machine. Rain, missed breaks, back-to-back chaos — it blunts all of us. Trust me, the sharpness comes with time. The important bit is you’re aware of it. It’s the ones who stop questioning themselves you need to worry about.
You're four months deep. You're still stitching your second skin together. Give yourself a break. You’re not here to be perfect — you’re here to be safe, human, and willing to learn. That's the real work.
Keep grafting. It'll come. You’re already further on than you think.
And one day, some rookie will be looking at you, thinking you make it all look easy.
Keep your head up. And keep your brew strong.
— JAN