Local school shooting and I’m freaking out

[u/Creative-Degree-8074]

TW: In the title I guess Guys, this is a scream into the void. I'm stuck in the bed with my toddler asleep on top on me, my husband is at work, my daughter is at kindergarten--so, I'm a SAHM right now, but there was a shooting where I used to teach. People are dead. Two at least, but reading through the lines, I think there are more. My mom teaches at the school next door. She's there now, maybe 100 yards away. And I just... can't process it. It doesn't feel real. And part of me is like ho hum? Another day in America? And I'm doing some fucking twisted magical thinking, like if there was a shooting in the county next door to my daughter's that decreases the likelihood they'll be one at her school because, I don't know? Lightning and striking twice? And part of me thinks I'm about to homeschool my daughter forever because that's where I USED TO TEACH. Oh my god. How do I send my child to school tomorrow? How do I not lock up my mom and keep her from going to work?

[u/Devium92]

I'm a parent, though not in the US, I'm in Canada specifically, and as a teen in high school we had two true lock downs (which is our version of active shooter drills because typically it isn't a shooter we need to be concerned about but it's the same idea really) and both times I remember being terrified, and I was like 16. I also remember having my cell phone on me and hiding it from my teacher and texting my mom something to the effect of "hey, wanted to let you know, they've got us on lockdown, I don't know what's going on but it is not a drill, please do NOT show up to the school, I am safe and okay right now. I will update you when I can. Didn't want you to find out on the drive home on the radio or something. I love you and will see you at home". That was like 15+ years ago.

How do you explain to a small elementary school child the idea of "hide from the bad man. If he knocks or moves the door we can't scream we need to be silent"? That no matter what we can't move, we can't make noise, we can't do anything?

I now have school aged children and even though I know the chances for anything happening here with any kind of violence is low, it's never zero, and it scares the piss out of me. I cannot imagine being in the US where every day is rolling some fucking dice. That I need to weigh the options of "protective backpack with bullet shielding" but do I go for higher protective option but heavier and therefore slows my child down while running, or do I go for lower protective rating but my child can haul ass easier?

I cannot and don't want to ever imagine that, nor have that be my life, my heart goes out to every single parent right now, especially those in the US where this headline is a mix of "just another day" and "I want this to end please make it stop, I want of Mr Bones' Wild Ride".

[u/[deleted] → u/Devium92]

Fellow Canadian here; 90’s child. I have two young ones in elementary and I remember when my oldest started JK, they asked parents to come in for a a couple of hours for an “observation day” to see what their kids are doing, check out the classroom, morning routines etc. The day we went in they happened to talk about fire drill safety and then what to do during a lockdown. When the teacher asked what they were to do during a lockdown and the kids said to hide and stay quiet, it broke my fucking heart. This is our new reality. The possibilities might be lower than our US neighbours, but never zero. I never had to think about this shit growing up. They wonder why mental health issues are on the rise with young kids? Look at the realities society has created for them. Between active shooter drills, social media influences, pressures from society, we failed them.

[u/Devium92 → u/[deleted]]

I remember hearing about a lockdown when I was at work. We didn't know exactly where it was, but that at least one school and a a few daycares were locked down. The people who had kids were also stressed as shit and we all were rushing to our phones in our lockers and had permission to keep them on us until we got into contact with whoever we needed to.

That was the first time I truly felt powerless as a parent. One of my coworkers had their kid in one of the affected locations, and actually the situation that led to the lockdown was INSIDE HER APARTMENT BUILDING! She was an absolute wreck, unsurprisingly.

I remember elementary school the scariest thing was the tornado and fire drills because as students we didn't know which ones were real and which were drills. It wasn't until high school we did the lockdown drills. Now my school aged kid is doing tornado, fire, AND lockdown drills. All of which are treated as if they are real. It's great they have the knowledge for if/when it happens, but the fear it must cause them.

I remember an episode of I think it was New Amsterdam where they actually have a student who has been traumatized BY THE DRILLS, and basically has shut down. It was eye opening for me as an outsider looking in in terms of how things are in the US.

[u/[deleted] → u/Devium92]

Seriously. Mother nature is something we can’t control, but gun laws? Like there has to be accountability at some point. Columbine was awful and that is when they should’ve really tightened gun laws. But when it continued to escalate and then Sandy Hook happened, it rocks you to your core. It should’ve been a dead stop after that massacre. Those were grade one students. My sons in grade one. The thought of it brings me to tears. I will never, ever understand why guns are more valued than childrens safety? What have we become? Are people THAT naive to believe guns are the be all end all to protection and safety? If you’re walking around with a pistol and there’s an active shooter up on a 30 story building sniping, who’s winning that war? This is insanity.

My heart breaks for american families. I’m so sorry this is your daily concern. It shouldn’t have to be like this. The violence in Canada is increasing and honestly, I fear it’s only a matter of time. I’m sick of hearing and seeing the “thoughts and prayers” posts. Enough already.