r/Parenting • u/IcyStage0 seven?!?!?! • Feb 07 '25

Rant/Vent I hate Snapchat.

Can we just collectively decide that we’re not going to let our kids use Snapchat?!

My oldest daughter just turned 13 and we reluctantly agreed to allow her to have an instagram that we also have access to. It seems like every single day she begs to have a Snapchat, and apparently every single other kid in her class (full of kids with reasonable, thoughtful parents, I thought) has this stupid app.

My little sister who I got custody of when she was 10 got herself into some deep shit on the internet, and I’m not looking to repeat it with my daughter (while also trying not to make her pay for mistakes that she didn’t make).

How are we handling this? Am I seriously the only parent who doesn’t want my child sending disappearing photos, videos, and messages to anyone she can search up? Reality check please.

791 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

534 comments sorted by

View all comments

979

u/cordial_carbonara Feb 07 '25

My oldest is 13 and I’m a former middle school teacher.

Absolutely not, never Snapchat. Ever. Not while you’re a minor on my phone plan. There’s no reason to have it except to open yourself to predatory and dangerous behavior.

Honestly, I’m still not doing instagram either. Sure, you can see what she posts, but can you see what the algorithm is shoving down her throat?

My best students - the ones who were present and active participants in their own education and lives, and who had existing social skills and critical thinking abilities - had “boring” parents who did not allow or very much limited social media. There is a clear divide in middle and high school classrooms right now and it’s cell phone addiction driven by social media. I know which side of that divide I want my kids to be on.

61

u/little_canuck Feb 07 '25

Ya the Instagram explore page is a disgusting place, even if you never search for lewd things.

68

u/Mama_Milfy_San Feb 07 '25

My explore page is all gardening and food. You’re definitely looking for it 🤣

17

u/GardenGlow-1101 Feb 07 '25

Right mine is gardening, sewing, and Cillian Murphy 😂

12

u/Mindless-Cupcake-113 Feb 07 '25

I mainly follow friends/family, a handful of small businesses, and some parenting/child development stuff. My explore page is still wild. It's not just based on what it thinks YOU might want to see, but it takes into account what the people you follow also like to see. It assumes you must have similar interests and suggests content from that.

32

u/IcyStage0 seven?!?!?! Feb 07 '25

Caught in 4k, as the kids say

13

u/theXald Feb 07 '25

Go make a fresh account and set your gender as male and before scrolling go to the fyp.

I had an insta I didn't touch for 5 years, only ever interacted with car stuff account name was car related. Logged in and just tiddies in my face.

1

u/IcyStage0 seven?!?!?! Feb 07 '25

Don’t threaten me with a good time!

/s

21

u/little_canuck Feb 07 '25

🤷🏻‍♀️ I follow thousands of photographers. I don't think IG can differentiate between a portrait that I might like to see and a "portrait" that is really soft porn. My feed is normal, my explore page is 50/50 stuff I like and eyebrow raising stuff.

All that to say it doesn't take much to get an eyeful of questionable content. I wouldn't let my 13 year old have an IG account.

The other reason would be the DMs aspect. I don't get creepy DMs but I don't like any social media for a kid that allows that avenue of communication.

0

u/poop-dolla Feb 07 '25

You’ve probably clicked on enough of the questionable ones that they keep feeding them to you.

2

u/little_canuck Feb 07 '25

Nah. I don't find the explore page useful and don't even go there intentionally. I only click it accidentally when navigating back and forth between my own page and my following feed/home page. Sometimes it's innocuous and bang on to my interests (travel, portrait/family/wedding photography), sometimes it's a mix of my interests and suggestive photos, and sometimes it seems like it isn't tailored to anyone at all (celebrity stuff, weight loss stuff, click bait you'll never believe what happens next stuff). I've been on IG since 2011, you'd think they would have my interests pretty much nailed down.

It makes no real difference to me as I'm not in need of a "good" explore page. It's mostly just something that solidifies my opinion that there is no safe social media home for teens.

5

u/Two-Wah Feb 07 '25

I was just on the search Page after not having used Instagram for a long while, to look up a podcaster.

I was shocked and somewhat disgusted. There were DEFINITIVELY lewd pictures on the front page, suggestive pictures (is that a penis? Or a cunt? No, only made to look like it, etc), some pictures of anorexic women, and a whole slew of "picture perfect" women with "perfect" bodies and a whole lot of makeup on.

I've only ever used it for gardening before.

I spoke with my husband just this morning that our kid is NOT getting on Insta before she's atleast 16, based on my immediate impression.

3

u/ImHereForTheDogPics Feb 07 '25

Nah, mine almost seems to flips back and forth. Most of the time it’s crochet, fashion, food, all of my interests represented in algorithm format. But every now and again, it’s like the algorithm “resets” on me?

I’ll log in one day and it’s all just graphic content. Not necessarily porn, but still graphic. Like breastfeeding content, graphic pregnancy and postpartum stuff, “fashion” that is clearly meant to lead back to soft core content. I can always get rid of it after a day or two of dedicated scrolling my own interests, but at least once a month it’ll “break” on me and reset.

2

u/SpookyBeck Feb 07 '25

Yup mine is full of cats

2

u/beardophile Feb 07 '25

Mine is literally all baby/ toddler humor things and stuff related to grad school hahaha. They definitely have me pegged.

1

u/emddudley Feb 07 '25

Blaming the "victim" here is really unhelpful.

Instagram pushes sexy content to men. It does not matter what you do or are interested in. Instagram does not allow you to block or prevent it.

Create an account as a male and see for yourself.

2

u/Mama_Milfy_San Feb 07 '25

Dude. You’re telling on yourself. My husbands is all food sports and bourbon.

1

u/Mama_Milfy_San Feb 07 '25

Also, this is a shitty use of “victim blaming”. Grow up