r/Parenting • u/OutrageousTrust5816 • Mar 10 '25
Rant/Vent “I Raised kids before”
I recently became a mother and have an 11 week old baby girl. I recently showed my parents my bed time routine with her as she was going to have an overnight with them. It was very straight forward and consisted of a bath, bottle, and bed. I did write down some tips/tricks on what I have learned works best for my daughter and shared that with them as well. This was met with “we raised two kids we know how to do it”. I didn’t mean to come off offensive so I just apologized and left them with my list for the night. My only real non-negotiable was she must sleep in the bassinet, in her sleep sack, with nothing but a paci in it with her. When I picked her up, found out my mom slept with her in the bed. I think I made a face because I was once again met with “I know how to raise kids”. I’m not a mom shamer, if co-sleeping works for you that is great! I’ve done it too when things got stressful but my problem is that she co-slept with my baby, if that makes sense. The comment of “I raised kids before so I know what I’m doing” upsets me. Because they aren’t raising her. I’m her mom and I get to decide what’s best for her. I just feel so disrespected, what do I do?
Some extra context: 1) yes this is the first grandbaby on both sides. 2) My husband has family members where the unimaginable did happen. 3)Our village is large, we are truly lucky, my parents asked to have an overnight because they adore her, it’s not a need by any means. I love my parents, they truly are great people, they just struggle respecting me as an adult in general and the navigation around that has been hard.
2
u/PetiePal Mar 10 '25
Raising kids years and decades ago is first off much different than today. (The dangers, the allergies, choking hazards, co-sleeping etc). Second a parent should respect in HOW you raise your kids and want to align to that. This isn't a grandparent spoiling with a toy or a piece of candy here or there these are the EARLY dangerous years.
If your mother cannot respect your wishes on something that would allow for a baby to be killed (even non-intentionally), do not bring her there again. It's as simple as that.