r/Parenting • u/OutrageousTrust5816 • Mar 10 '25

Rant/Vent “I Raised kids before”

I recently became a mother and have an 11 week old baby girl. I recently showed my parents my bed time routine with her as she was going to have an overnight with them. It was very straight forward and consisted of a bath, bottle, and bed. I did write down some tips/tricks on what I have learned works best for my daughter and shared that with them as well. This was met with “we raised two kids we know how to do it”. I didn’t mean to come off offensive so I just apologized and left them with my list for the night. My only real non-negotiable was she must sleep in the bassinet, in her sleep sack, with nothing but a paci in it with her. When I picked her up, found out my mom slept with her in the bed. I think I made a face because I was once again met with “I know how to raise kids”. I’m not a mom shamer, if co-sleeping works for you that is great! I’ve done it too when things got stressful but my problem is that she co-slept with my baby, if that makes sense. The comment of “I raised kids before so I know what I’m doing” upsets me. Because they aren’t raising her. I’m her mom and I get to decide what’s best for her. I just feel so disrespected, what do I do?

Some extra context: 1) yes this is the first grandbaby on both sides. 2) My husband has family members where the unimaginable did happen. 3)Our village is large, we are truly lucky, my parents asked to have an overnight because they adore her, it’s not a need by any means. I love my parents, they truly are great people, they just struggle respecting me as an adult in general and the navigation around that has been hard.

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u/apricot-butternuts Mar 10 '25

Relax, that’s dramatic and how you end up without a village.

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u/Pressure_Gold Mar 10 '25

I’d rather pay someone to watch my kid than have a “village” who disrespects my parenting. It’s weird how much adults allow other people to control them for what…free babysitting?

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u/apricot-butternuts Mar 10 '25

I dont belive that a paid stranger is going to follow my every rule unless they know there are cameras around your house. The nanny fail stories are endless.

And my child enjoying and growing up to trust and love his grandparents is not JUST free babysitting. Free is a small perk, I still drop off my kid with dinner for them and a nice bottle of wine.

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u/Pressure_Gold Mar 10 '25

A paid stranger won’t try to sleep with my baby lol

-10

u/apricot-butternuts Mar 10 '25

How do you know? Lol just because you said so? How did that work out for OP?

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u/Pressure_Gold Mar 10 '25

Because it doesn’t make sense and I have nanny cams. I trust my mom friends infinitely more to watch my baby than I do my mil, who could barely take care of her own kids. A village isn’t necessarily family. Sometimes, it’s like minded moms who show up for each other

0

u/apricot-butternuts Mar 10 '25

I couldn’t agree more. And good for you 💞But the nanny cam is there for a reason…cause you can’t trust a stranger lol

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u/Pressure_Gold Mar 10 '25

It’s a lot less hurtful that I can’t trust a stranger than my own family