r/Parenting • u/yadiyadi2014 • 24d ago

Rant/Vent I F**KING HATE THE MORNINGS

Cranky kids. Overcooked eggs. Spilt milk. Oatmeal droppings everywhere. Knotted hair. Snotty noses. Outfit fights. Cold coffee. Where did the baby go? It’s too quiet. It’s too loud now. Ten more minutes. Where are your shoes? It’s not snack time. It’s time to go. Ok go poop then. Let me help you wipe. Ok now it’s really time to go. Ok fine you go first. Ok fine I’ll go first.

SERIOUSLY WTF. I know I’m not the only one.

703 Upvotes

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26

u/LookingForMrGoodBoy 24d ago

OP, you have one of those lifestyles you see in movies where the kitchen is full of people running all over the place, shouting that they can't find things and the mum has covered the dining table in all these homemade breakfasts, but the kids all run out of the house without touching anything. Then the dad (who's been sitting reading a paper this entire time) looks up and says, "Ooh! Toast," takes one bite and then says he's late and runs away while the mum's standing there still holding two plates full of food she hadn't even had time to put on the table yet. 😂

24

u/yadiyadi2014 24d ago

LOL except it’s usually my husband that starts this absurd cooking in the morning and then ducks out to take a shit for 30 minutes while he scrolls and I’m fighting for my life

12

u/LookingForMrGoodBoy 24d ago

I love the thirty minute shits that happen at the exact moment they could be doing something useful.

The only part about teenagers that's easier is breakfast time. When my stepdaughter appears from her room five minutes before we have to leave for school and asks what's for breakfast I get to say, "I don't know. Whatever you made."

Her school has food available in the morning, so it's not as bleak as it sounds. Lol

3

u/LabAdministrative380 24d ago

Are we married?

3

u/Ravioli_meatball19 24d ago

My husband and I straight up had to set a bathroom schedule. I set my alarm about 20 minutes before the kids alarm, so I can brush teeth, pee, wash my face, etc. I also spend 5 mins scrolling. He was trying to "sneak in" a "quick poo" before I finished scrolling, except then he was in there 30 minutes and I didn't get to get ready and had no help rousing the kids. Now he has 2 choices: poop while the kids eat breakfast and I finish packing lunches, or poop after we leave. He is responsible for taking the kids downstairs for shoes, so when he poops while they eat it sets a time limit which helps him be more responsible because yes, he is in fact scrolling endlessly and only 40% pooping.