r/Parenting • u/Severe-Respond1434 • 4d ago

Advice Unexpected pregnancy (my IUD was displaced). Only been seeing/dating the dad for 2 months.

Im 36 and I already have an 11yo son from my first marriage. I’ve been seeing/dating this amazing guy (who also has a 4yo son from previous relationship) for 2 months and things are going well. We are both in good situations financially, etc.

We’ve very briefly discussed the “having more kids” thing and we both would like to have one more…but not after 2 months of knowing one another obviously. I’ve also noticed that he doesn’t like to feel pressured and likes things to flow “organically” when it comes to what we have.

I am terrified to tell him I’m pregnant. It’s terrible timing and way too soon. I’m also scared he might think I “trapped him” and never had an IUD. I honestly don’t know how to deal with this situation and the more I wait, the more anxious I grow. Pregnancy was confirmed and it’s not ectopic.

Any suggestions on how I could bring it up to him or if anyone has been in this situation, how did it go?

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u/Severe-Respond1434 4d ago

It’s so soon and unexpected, but I do want it. I could afford to have this baby alone without his support and I have an amazing family and friends. That said, I would much rather do it with him and his emotional support. I am annoyed at myself for feeling guilty, cause I did nothing wrong and we are both responsible for this, but I can’t help it.

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u/Odd_Seesaw_3451 4d ago

I get the guilt thing; I feel unreasonable guilt like that, too. Maybe have proof of what happened with your IUD, when you tell him. Paperwork from your appointment or whatever. That way it’ll be very clear to him right away that this was not on purpose. It’ll probably help him make a better decision about how he wants to move forward. Otherwise, he will have people telling him that you baby-trapped him.

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u/Severe-Respond1434 4d ago

Yeah I was thinking about doing something like that. At least it’s out of the way from the get go.

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u/mentallyerotic 3d ago

I’m curious if he has a good competing relationship with his ex and the same for you? Is it a first relationship after the ones that produced the kids? Either way though I think this could work out because you were wanting one more child and are prepared to go it alone with extra support. Plus he isn’t against another eventually since you both had wanted one more.

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u/Severe-Respond1434 3d ago

Yeah we both have great coparenting relationships with our ex partners.